As a gamer who has seen my fair share of movies and played through countless virtual narratives, I can’t help but feel both moved and disappointed by the latest film adaptation of “It Ends with Us.” On one hand, it’s a powerful portrayal of the complexities and heartbreaks of domestic violence, a topic close to my heart due to my work as a community moderator in online gaming communities.
The movie “It Ends with Us,” featuring Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, is primarily promoted as a love tale involving a young woman and a dominant neurosurgeon. However, it’s essential to note that in the film, and more so in the book on which it’s based, the central narrative delves deeply into the intricacies and sorrow of domestic violence, offering a powerful portrayal of these issues.
Colleen Hoover’s book and the associated movie depict how past, unresolved traumas can lead to further traumatic experiences. When discussing truthful storytelling related to these topics, it’s crucial not only to focus on the stories themselves but also on how we prepare and support audiences before and after they encounter them.
As a passionate admirer, I must express that when a movie like It Ends with Us skims over its domestic violence themes in promotional materials and neglects to issue content warnings before screening, it unfortunately falls short in supporting the very individuals it aims to uplift.
In our role as the executive director at Network for Victim Recovery of DC (NVRDC), an organization dedicated to granting crime victims their due rights and access to healing services, our team assists survivors of domestic abuse daily. Safety and a world where accountability is upheld and significant are crucial to these individuals. Notably, over 83% of the people we assist are women or identify as female, and a concerning 79% of NVRDC cases involve sexual assault and/or domestic partner violence.
Upon leaving a crowded theater on the opening night of the movie with a coworker, we felt disheartened that no immediate assistance was provided for survivors as soon as the credits began to roll. However, there was a message during the end credits, although it arrived too late for many who had already left: “If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic violence, help is accessible. For more details and assistance, please visit www.nomore.org.”
It’s clear that the movie likely resonated with the audience given that over a third of women (35.6%) and nearly one-quarter of men (28.5%) in America have experienced some form of physical violence, sexual assault, or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lives, as reported by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t depict domestic violence on film. We should, but we should provide proper warnings to viewers prior to the opening credits to ensure that any survivor of trauma who would like to leave, can. This is something routinely done on TV shows, and should be adopted for movies, because when we have survived a traumatic experience like domestic violence, and we see similar stimuli in the future, we don’t just remember our own experience, we relive it.
In our work focused on trauma-informed care, we understand that providing clarity about what’s going to happen step-by-step can be incredibly beneficial for those who have experienced trauma, especially if they are bracing for triggers similar to their past experiences. While common reactions to trauma like fatigue, bewilderment, melancholy, apprehension, restlessness, and emotional numbness are generally understood, it’s important to remember that delayed responses can manifest as flashbacks, sleep disorders, fear of reoccurrence, depression, and even more severe symptoms. A straightforward approach for the entertainment industry to begin embracing trauma-responsive storytelling is by providing clear warnings about what will be portrayed in their content. The industry has already started this practice by offering assistance and resources when stories involve suicide, so extending this consideration to other sensitive topics could make a significant difference.
As a fervent admirer of Ms. Lively, I wholeheartedly appreciate her Instagram acknowledgement of the pervasive issue of domestic violence in the U.S. However, it’s unfortunate that many won’t see this message. Rather than issuing a statement post-facto, the film could have made a more impactful stand, aligning with its core values, by collaborating with the National Domestic Violence Hotline or providing hyper-local resources tailored to the cinema where the movie is being screened. In my opinion, ongoing communication is crucial, and these sentiments should have been conveyed in the theater immediately after the film’s conclusion.
In crafting his movie, director-actor Baldoni aimed to avoid the typical “male perspective” and earned backing from NO MORE, an organization focused on eradicating domestic and sexual violence. This demonstrates that Baldoni’s initial goals for the film were geared towards supporting survivors. With a few more adjustments, he could have made a powerful impact.
I would like to see Hollywood adopt a trauma-informed approach in both the pre and post-production process. This would mean acknowledging the reality that a high percentage of audience members (given prevalence rates) have been impacted by this issue in some way and offering help for those who may need to support someone in their life who is affected by domestic violence. Most survivors of domestic violence first seek care from a friend (just like Lily did), so arming not only those affected by domestic violence but also every friend and family member who saw It Ends with Us would help the film realize the book’s purpose as a powerful illustration of the trauma that is all too common in our lives today.
Bridgette Stumpf serves as the founder and head of Network for Victim Recovery of DC (NVRDC). Since 2009, she has been a certified police instructor in Maryland and has taught courses such as “Victims, Victimization & the System” on a part-time basis at George Washington University. In 2020, she was recognized as the winner of the Social Enterprise Scholarship by Harvard Business School’s (HBS) Club of Washington, DC. Additionally, she was personally awarded the 2022 Sandra H. Robinson Women’s Caucus Award from the Trial Lawyers Association of DC.
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2024-08-20 21:55