The Oscar Secrets: Bruce Villanch Reveals Unused Jokes and Host Confessions!

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Bruce Vilanch is a paradoxical figure: a highly respected behind-the-scenes writer, famously known for providing witty one-liners to various award show hosts such as those at the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, and Tonys. He’s been involved with the Oscars on and off since 1989, including the infamous Rob Lowe-Snow White debacle. The title of his upcoming memoir, It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time (due for release March 4 from Chicago Review Press), reflects on such television disasters he’s been associated with. If you accuse him of TV disasters like The Star Wars Holiday Special or The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, then you should also credit him for the genuinely funny Oscar night jokes that may have slipped under your radar. As we gear up for the 97th Academy Awards, Vilanch shares his candid thoughts on past hosts and reveals the best joke he ever had to omit.

The Oscars are intriguing because they serve two purposes: firstly, they’re a private event that the Hollywood industry values highly, but secondly, they need to appeal to a broad audience. As a writer, how do you manage this balance between these two aspects?

Using a shrimp fork poses a challenge since everyone in the house is well-versed, but at home, they might question, “What’s The Brutalist? Is it a wrestling poster?” To address your query, we adapt it for our household as if it enhances their experience. If the house appreciates it, this appreciation radiates to the viewers at home, making them more engaged. Despite not understanding every reference, there will be enough context for them. You need to find the right balance.

What’s the single most important advice you’ve given an Oscar night host?

It’s crucial to start the program with the main points first, since for every winner, there are typically four losers. As the night progresses, these unsuccessful participants tend to lose focus and engage in other activities such as texting, changing agents or dentists. This means you won’t get the same response from the audience, and sometimes the camera may cut to someone like Eddie Murphy, now replaced by a lovely lady from Pacoima who bought a special dress from TJ Maxx for the occasion. To ensure your strong points are heard, it’s best to present them early, as the show might not build audience engagement as well later on.

What makes a great Oscar host, beyond the ability to deliver a joke?

Essentially, Jo Koy demonstrated at the 2024 Golden Globes that one needs to be a prominent figure to poke fun at other big stars. It’s crucial they perceive you as being on their level, and there aren’t many who can achieve this. Typically, it’s not something people are keen to do.

Is there any upside to hosting an awards show anymore?

They’re yet to be found. Now, if you happen to be Nikki Glaser hosting the 2025 Globes, that could be a plus! And she wasn’t harsh; she found the right balance. Her performance was quite explicit, but she maintained a touch of toughness. I’m not certain if that style would resonate with the Oscars audience, as while they share the same crowd, the event itself is more formal and ceremonial.

Who would you say was the worst Oscar host that you had to work with?

Which one gave me some trouble? That would be Ellen [DeGeneres]. However, it’s not because I disliked her; I believe she was simply frightened or anxious in our interactions.

It seems you weren’t the only one to have had a hard time working with Ellen.

Indeed, I must admit my ignorance. She tended to seclude herself quite often, which wasn’t exactly enjoyable. Yet, I do hold a strong affection for her as we’ve been friends for many years. Normally, she’s quite lively, but something about the weight of her experiences seems to have altered her. Although she now hosts her own talk show and has garnered significant public admiration, I believe she remained cautious, perhaps due to a desire to keep her inner circle close. This was, unfortunately, the most challenging aspect for me.

And did that make the show worse, in your opinion?

Negative, as she’s exceptional, it dampened the enjoyment for us writers instead. That’s about it. The Franco-Hathaway project was misguided, too. James seemed to panic and sought Judd Apatow, who introduced four inexperienced writers from his writer’s circle. Additionally, there was no defined persona for him to write towards. Essentially, they were writing blindly. To give an example, consider Pineapple Express. Later, Anne, recognizing the focus on him, brought in a talented writer of her own. Consequently, the environment wasn’t ideal.

Now that we’re back in an era reminiscent of the Trump years, I wonder as a scriptwriter for the Oscars, how much care must be taken to cater to the political leanings of both the Hollywood crowd and the broader public audience.

Donald Trump referred to the Oscars as being in a state of conflict: He considers Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro to be excessively praised actors, and he feels the same way about others who don’t support him. At this point, he believes that people will express their opinions freely. He doesn’t think that the Academy is overly supportive of Trump, as it has become more diverse and less focused on Hollywood.

As a scriptwriter, would you prefer to include unexpected political twists in the series, or do you wish to avoid such elements altogether?

As a writer, I appreciate them greatly, but I don’t participate in them myself. Therefore, it ultimately boils down to who is actively involved in them. During the Iraq invasion some time ago, Michael Moore won the documentary award for “Bowling for Columbine”. He used his acceptance speech to criticize George Bush, which was met with boos from stagehands and some audience members. Steve Martin, the host, then made a joke at the expense of those who were booing him, saying something like “I think it’s wonderful that the stagehands are helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his car”. This lightened the political tension in the room and served as a subtle jab at those who opposed him. Needless to say, I found this situation quite amusing.

Do you have a funny story or a witty remark that you’ve always wanted to share but never got the chance, something you think, “If only I could have said that!”?

Last year, Richard Gere was in the crowd, and Billy Crystal had a witty remark planned. This was following the famous Richard Gere whisper incident. The intended joke for the night was, “Later on, Richard Gere will be presenting. He was supposed to present with Fievel, the mouse from An American Tail, but Fievel bailed out.” As the moment approached, the director handed the script to one of his 14 cameramen who sneaked up the aisle towards Richard. At this point, it’s clear that you are going to be mentioned in some way. You could see the alarm on Richard’s face as he feared [Billy] would make a joke about him. Naturally, what could one joke about with Richard Gere at that moment?

Billy exclaimed, “Take notice… It’s crucial we halt this joke. Observe him. He appears to be on the verge of a heart attack.” He responded, “I can’t go through with that.” Consequently, we stopped the joke. Billy consistently demonstrated a strong sense of justice. In other words, it wasn’t the first time. We would often devise outrageous ideas and he would say, “I may pull such a stunt on a late-night talk show, but I won’t do it at the Oscars.” Essentially, he was very mindful of the occasion and believed himself to be a just man.

Are people ever warned that they’re going to be made fun of?

In a different turn of phrase: Elizabeth Taylor was an exceptional case, humorously referenced in a jest about her personal life. During the introduction of Al Pacino, Billy made a witty remark, saying, “Al Pacino has been nominated eight times and hasn’t won yet. He’s heard more people shout out another man’s name than anyone else except Larry Fortensky.” [This was a reference to Taylor’s seventh husband]. The joke is well-loved by many, and Gil Cates, the longtime director of the Oscar telecast, found it so amusing that he felt compelled to share it with Taylor. However, when Cates told her the joke, she didn’t recognize the reference, asking “Who’s Larry Fortensky?

You can find this article in the February 26th edition of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. To get future issues, consider subscribing by clicking here.

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2025-02-26 19:55