As a seasoned film critic with over three decades of experience under my belt, I must say that these movies are truly a testament to the depths of cinematic mediocrity. Each one of them is a perfect example of why we need more creativity and less cliché in Hollywood.
The enchanting realm of love stories in films aims to make your pulse race and carry you away. Indeed, when the universal sentiment of affection is conveyed with dramatic effect, it’s hard not to succumb. However, despite the fact that the romance genre is renowned for its accessibility and emotional impact, some movies just fail to capture the essence correctly.
The esteemed film critic, Roger Ebert, – known for his perceptive insights and sharp humor that sometimes irked directors and screenwriters – has highlighted some intriguing films on his list of Most Hated movies. A man who understood the essence of love, he was not one to tolerate poorly executed portrayals of romance in cinema. He would criticize the overused and empty romantic films as he saw fit. Consequently, we’ve compiled a list of the 10 most disappointing romance movies ever, according to Ebert, that left him utterly disheartened.
10 ‘Flashdance’ (1983)
1 ½ Stars
Following in the footsteps of 80s musical love stories like Footloose and Purple Rain, this Adrian Lyne-directed film chronicles my journey as Alex Owens, a 18-year-old who juggles welding during the day and go-go dancing at night. My secret dream is to become a professional ballerina, but my working-class life takes an unexpected twist when Nick Hurley, the owner of the steel mill where I work, takes notice of me and inspires me to chase my ambitions.
A Dance Drama Driven by Clichés
Under the leadership of Jennifer Beals and Michael Nouri, Flashdance had the potential to captivate audiences with its energetic dance routines, memorable soundtrack, and even become a cultural icon. To some extent, it achieved this goal. The film was also an unexpected commercial triumph, earning over $200 million globally, and its music, which received awards, is still danced to today. However, according to Ebert, the movie itself lacks depth and meaning, being “not as intriguing as the real-life story of Jennifer Beals.
9 ‘Betty Blue’ (1986)
1 ½ Stars
Betty Blue is a steamy French romance that dips its toes into the psychological drama genre for a well-rounded storyline. It follows Zorg, an ordinary repairman, who finds himself smitten with Betty, a woman of unpredictable wildness. Their romance begins passionately at a seaside resort but soon takes a turn for the complex as Betty’s mental health deteriorates, leading her to display erratic and impulsive behavior.
An Offbeat But Flawed Romance
Should a modern film equivalent to “Betty Blue” be produced, it would delve deeply into the emotional turmoil and destructive relationship of its characters, while offering a genuine sense of relief and healing upon their emergence from their tumultuous phase. This hypothetical production might even reap significant profits in France, boast an impressive 78% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and secure a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. However, Roger Ebert’s review kicks off with “‘Love is not the same thing as nudity’“, encapsulating his perspective on the film.
8 ‘Friends’ (1971)
1 Star
The movie “Friends,” penned, directed, and produced by Lewis Gilbert, is a heartwarming British-French teenage romance set in Paris. It follows the tale of Paul Harrison, a 15-year-old English boy left unattended in Paris, and Michelle Latour, a 14-year-old orphan girl from France residing with her cousin within the city. These two free-spirited adolescents flee their homes to seek comfort in each other’s company, eventually establishing themselves in Camargue. However, they soon find that life has other plans for them.
Disturbing Portrayal of Teenage Innocence
Initially, “Friends” starts off as a thoughtful examination of love, friendship, duties, and societal norms. However, it quickly transforms into a disappointing portrayal of romance. Despite the storyline’s initial promise to bring something fresh and challenging to the genre, the characters lack depth, and the social critique seems misplaced. Roger Ebert rated it only one star and labeled it as “a very unpleasant and poorly made film.
This film is filled with picturesque scenes of frolicking in the meadows, beautiful sunsets, overly dramatic emotional moments, and blatant attempts to appeal to younger viewers. Eventually, it transforms into an exaggerated caricature of its original self.
7 ‘Staying Alive’ (1983)
1 Star
When it seemed like the disco craze had ended completely, Sylvester Stallone unexpectedly produced a sequel to the legendary dance film, “Saturday Night Fever”. John Travolta reappeared on stage in “Staying Alive”, having shifted his location from Brooklyn to Manhattan. He was working as both a waiter and dance instructor there, all while yearning to recapture the brilliance of his past success and achieve stardom on Broadway.
A Cinematic Jukebox With no Heart
Despite earning an impressive $127 million globally, the film “Staying Alive” holds a unique distinction: it’s the oldest movie with a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Unfortunately, compared to the original, it lacks depth, emotional resonance, and a compelling narrative. Audiences often leave feeling unfulfilled, and the over-reliance on dance numbers can feel excessive. Critic Roger Ebert was not enthused; he only gave it one star, calling it a film that’s “so absurd it needs to be witnessed to be fully appreciated.
6 ‘Camille 2000’ (1969)
1 Star
In 2000, there was a film called Camille 2000, which is a remake of Alexandre Dumas fils’ novel La Dame aux Camélia. This movie is visually appealing yet lacks emotional depth as it narrates the story of Marguerite Gautier, an alluring courtesan known for her beauty and charm. She develops feelings for Armand Duval, a young French businessman, but her lifestyle filled with extravagant parties, drugs, and casual relationships complicates their relationship. Despite Armand’s efforts to help, their ill-starred romance ends in tragedy.
Lavish but Soulless Erotic Drama
The film “Camille 2000” received harsh criticism from critics, despite some appreciating its extravagant sets and luxurious ambiance, which aligned with cultural depictions at the time. However, many criticized it for lacking character development and overindulging in explicit content. Notably, Roger Ebert awarded the romance a single star in his review.
Camille 2000
5 ‘Saving Silverman’ (2001)
½ Star
Saving Silverman is a charming yet unconventional romantic comedy centered around three long-time Neil Diamond enthusiasts – Darren Silverman, Wayne LeFessier, and J.D. McNugent. When Darren becomes smitten with the domineering Judith and decides to wed her, his friends devise a scheme to kidnap her. Their goal is to trick him into believing she’s deceased, hoping he will rekindle his relationship with his first love, Sandy.
A Buddy Comedy that Misfires
The comedy film “Saving Silverman” is often deemed amusing, ridiculous, and extreme by many viewers. It features Jason Biggs, Steve Zahn, and Jack Black delivering standout performances, while employing off-color humor for comic effect. Notably, the esteemed critic Roger Ebert felt that the movie was overly lengthy and lacked focus, with each scene outstaying its welcome. In his 1/2 star review, he advised Jason Biggs to seek more thoughtful roles, and furthermore, he commented:
…”You might view it as a representation of the shallow end of the normal distribution curve. It’s the sort of film that leaves even its supporters feeling utterly frustrated.
4 ‘The Blue Lagoon’ (1980)
½ Star
As a movie enthusiast, I’d say: In the shoes of a film buff, I’d tell you that ‘The Blue Lagoon’, directed by Randal Kleiser from Henry De Vere Staacpoole’s novel, follows my journey as Emmeline and Richard, two young cousins who find ourselves stranded on an uncharted tropical paradise after our shipwreck. As we grow from carefree children to resilient adults amidst the trials of survival, we stumble upon love in this secluded haven, nurturing a friendship that blossoms into a profound romance as we navigate life together.
A Sanitized, Superficial Love Story
Initially, the bright visuals of the film drew viewers in, but it failed to impress Ebert, who labeled The Blue Lagoon as the “most foolish movie of the year” and questioned its purpose in his review, which awarded it only 1.5 stars. Starring Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins, whose on-screen connection was non-existent, the film mishandled its delicate themes, lacked realism, and glamorized the central romance rather than delving into the intricacies of the characters’ circumstances.
3 ‘The Pick-up Artist’ (1987)
½ Star
Another worst romance movie, according to Roger Ebert, is The Pick-up Artist, written and directed by James Toback. In it, Robert Downey Jr. plays Jack, a charming young man who spends all his time flirting with women, but his life takes an unexpected turn when he meets Molly Ringwald’s Randy, a strong-willed museum tour guide who does not fall for his tricks. Jack, desperate to woo Randy, teams up with her father and gets entangled with Randy’s mobster boyfriend, Alonzo.
Romance Movie That Missed the Mark
Ebert’s half-star critique of “The Pick-Up Artist” was sharp and biting, as he panned the film for its shallow depth and one-dimensional performances. He labeled it as a “staggeringly foolish movie,” from its immature comedic introduction to its overly earnest ending, a film that misses the mark in captivating audiences and capitalizes on Molly Ringwald’s appeal. However, not everyone agreed with his opinion, as many viewers found the formulaic plot engaging and enjoyed the Brat Pack cast members.
2 ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ (1987)
½ Star
In the predictable teenage romantic comedy titled “Can’t Buy Me Love,” we follow Ronald, a shy and socially inept high school student. Longing to boost his social standing, he hatches a plan: he offers $1,000 to the most attractive cheerleader at school, Cindy, to fake being his girlfriend for a month. To no one’s surprise, Cindy accepts, and Ronald quickly gains popularity. However, as time goes on, he learns that love cannot be purchased with money.
A Cringe-Worthy Attempt at Teen Rom-Com
Initially, “Can’t Buy Me Love” might have seemed like an innocent, enjoyable romantic comedy, even something to indulge in secretly. However, its storyline veered into the realm of cynicism and shallow character development, which is why it received only half a star from Ebert and was labeled as “as naive as the passing day.
If ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ was meant as a satire criticizing American values, and if it aimed to expose cynicism, then our interpretation might be accurate. However, judging by the available evidence, the creators of this film appear to be so materialistic that they genuinely view this as a light-hearted teenage comedy. It seems they fail to recognize the decay at the heart of the script.
1 ‘Dirty Love’ (2005)
0 Stars
In the opinion of Roger Ebert, “Dirty Love” might just be the most abysmal romance film ever made, and this sentiment is clearly reflected in his scathing zero-star review. However, before delving into that critique, let’s discuss the movie’s narrative. The story revolves around Rebecca Sommers, a photographer who discovers her partner’s infidelity. Heartbroken and emotionally shaken, she seeks retribution by embarking on a string of disastrous romantic encounters with questionable characters. Remarkably, true love unexpectedly comes her way in the end.
An Unfunny Disaster
Under the guidance of and featuring the controversial TV personality, Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg (making her screenwriting debut as well), the film Dirty Love is a cringe-worthy production in every aspect. It’s a cinematic disaster that revels in its offensive humor and struggles under poor direction. In his critique, Roger Ebert swiftly points out these flaws, labeling the movie as ““hopelessly incompetent”” and ““so pitiful it doesn’t even reach the level of badness.”“. Remarkably, Dirty Love was awarded the Golden Raspberry for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actress.
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2024-11-28 02:02