32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

As a huge fan of Melissa McCarthy‘s work, I must say that her characters always manage to leave me in stitches! From her hilarious portrayal of Sookie St. James in Gilmore Girls to her brilliant performance as Detective Shannon Mullins in The Heat, McCarthy has an uncanny ability to make even the most mundane situations seem riotously funny.


Whether they’re scripted or improvised, Melissa McCarthy knows how to make a funny line entirely her own. The Groundlings alum turned comedic superstar has appeared in some of the best comedy films of late—Bridesmaids, Spy and Can You Ever Forgive Me? among them—as well as beloved television series like Gilmore Girls and Mike & Molly, and she’s cranked out some classic one-liners along the way. Whether appearing on TV or in her own funny flicks, these are the 32 funniest lines from Melissa McCarthy. 

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“It’s Coming Out Of Me Like Lava!” – Bridesmaids

The restroom sequence in the bridal shop from “Bridesmaids” has become a legendary comic moment, fueled by McCarthy’s side-splitting physical humor and frantic shouting as her character, Megan Price, grapples with the consequences of eating an unknown lunch meat. In a group of comedy legends, McCarthy truly shines.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“You’re A Loud Kisser, And It’s Gross And Unappealing. You Look Like Some Old Toothless Woman Suckin’ The Jelly Out Of A Donut.” – Spy

Among numerous reasons why I adore the 2015 action-comedy film “Spy,” one particular scene stands out to me: watching Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne deliver cutting, witty remarks as secret agent Susan Cooper and arms dealer Rayna Boyanov, respectively. It’s a delight to witness their fierce and intelligent banter!

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“14 Dollars? Is It Magic Whiskey? Do I Get A Motorcycle With It? Is It Gonna Be Served In Jesus’s Shoe?” – The Heat

In the 2013 buddy cop comedy “The Heat,” Melissa McCarthy portrayed the character Shannon Mullins, a gun-loving hothead, opposite Sandra Bullock’s role as Sarah Ashburn, a by-the-book FBI special agent. One of the hilarious moments in this film occurs when Mullins gets Ashburn to relax with a series of expensive whiskey shots.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Just Want To Be Upfront And Say I Visually Enjoy You.” – Identity Thief

In the hilarious buddy road trip comedy “Identity Thief,” Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman take on the roles as key figures. The film centers around McCarthy, a cunning Florida con artist who not only assumes Bateman’s identity (Sandy Patterson), but also subjects him to her flirtatious advances and impromptu car karaokes.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“That’s Not Chicken. I Don’t Know What It Is, But It’s Not Bird…Bird Doesn’t Come Out Of A Squeezy Tube!” – Tammy

It is unlikely that the character played by McCarthy in the 2014 road comedy “Tammy” will be named “Employee of the Year” at Topper Jack’s, the fast-food restaurant where she works. Following her frequent tardiness, which led to her termination, Tammy loudly and discontentedly informs the customers that the chicken nuggets they are consuming are not actually chicken.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’m Glad He’s Single Because I’m Going To Climb That Like A Tree.” – Bridesmaids

During Dougie’s engagement party with Lillian, Megan (portrayed by McCarthy) appears to be preoccupied with romance or a potential fling, humorously confiding in Annie (played by Wiig).

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’ve Already Gone Through The Five Stages Of Grieving: Denial, Anger…I Don’t Remember These Two But They Were Served On The Rocks With Salt!” – Gilmore Girls

One of the best episodes of Gilmore Girls is Season 3’s “Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving,” in which Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory (Alexis Bledel) feast their way through a whopping four holiday dinners. The funniest scene finds Sookie (McCarthy) nursing several drinks to deal with the horror of her husband deep-frying not only the Thanksgiving turkey but everything at the table, including the napkins. 

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Want To Apologize. I’m Not Even Confident On Which End That Came Out Of.” – Bridesmaids

The only thing funnier than Bridesmaids‘ Megan Price dealing with simultaneous burps and farts is that she does so in full formalwear and, as the bridal-shop worker horrifyingly realizes, while standing on a white carpet. 

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Crying A Little, But Not Blubbering. That’s What We Meant When We Said No Crying. No Blubbering.” – Gilmore Girls

In Season 3 of Gilmore Girls, Sookie’s reaction to Rory graduating high school was a mix of heartwarming sincerity and amusing exuberance. Her emotional outpouring, which included tears streaming down McCarthy’s face, was so exaggerated that it was hard not to laugh.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Took Nine. I Took Nine. Yeah, I Did Slightly Overcommit To The Whole Dog Thing. It Turns Out I’m Probably More Comfortable With Six.” – Bridesmaids

It’s understandable that Megan (McCarthy) couldn’t resist taking home more than one “party souvenir” – like the charming Labrador puppies – from Lilian’s (Maya Rudolph) bridal shower. Just look at how precious they are in their tiny bowties!

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Female Fight Club. We Grease Up, We Pull In. Lillian Doesn’t Know, So it’s, ‘Surprise! We’re going to fight!'” – Bridesmaids

Instead of the typical bachelorette party plans like a wild Vegas weekend or a luxurious spa trip, Megan’s suggestion of a “female fight club” was undeniably more offbeat than what the bridesmaids in Bridesmaids were envisioning. Though her idea was rejected, it certainly gave us one of the most memorable lines from that beloved comedy.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’d Like To Rear Up And Jackknife My Legs And Kick You Both In The Jaw With My Foot Bone!” – This Is 40

A gathering featuring stars like Melissa McCarthy, Paul Rudd, and Leslie Mann is guaranteed to be incredibly amusing, and that holds true for the uproariously awkward principal’s office scene in This is 40. Nothing quite compares to the outtakes!

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Swear To God, That Dolphin Looked, Not At Me, But Into My Soul, Into My Goddamn Soul, Annie. And He Said, ‘I’m Saving You Megan.’ Not With His Mouth, But He Said It, I’m Assuming, Telepathically.” – Bridesmaids

In simpler terms, McCarthy’s character in the movie ‘Bridesmaids’ has quite an extraordinary history – from serving in the U.S. government to possessing knowledge about nuclear codes. However, Megan’s disclosure that she had a mystical encounter with a dolphin after falling off a ship might be one of the most bizarre tales we’ve come across recently in terms of backstories.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Oh My God, Rayna. Thank God Your Hair Broke Your Fall.” – Spy

In the movie “Spy,” directed by Paul Feig, Rose Byrne’s hair was a striking sight, with Feig himself describing it as a unique blend of Marie Antoinette and Donald Trump hairstyles, going so far as to call it the most intricate hairdo he had ever encountered. It’s no wonder that this elaborate coif became a source of humor for Melissa McCarthy during the film.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“It Was A Terrible Resume. He Mentioned Prison, And In Special Skills He Said, ‘Keeping It Real.'” – The Heat

In the film The Heat, even with a scene centered around a family tragedy – McCarthy’s character’s brother falling into a coma – there’s an impressive blend of laughter and emotion, with Melissa McCarthy skillfully balancing reminiscences about her brother’s unimpressive resume.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“You Were A Good Cake, Clyde. I Never Should Have Named You.” – Gilmore Girls

In a more casual and flowing style, McCarthy’s character Sookie St. James from ‘Gilmore Girls’ was admired for her lively spirit and exceptional culinary talents. These qualities shone brightly as she prepared a wedding cake for her best friend Lorelai (Lauren Graham). Unfortunately, the wedding was called off, leaving poor Clyde to mourn.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’m Just Looking For A Reasonable Ratio Of Wontons To Soup, This Is Madness!” – Ghostbusters

In the film Ghostbusters, character Abby Yates (played by McCarthy) strongly dislikes an imbalanced soup recipe, referring to it as “insanity.” This is notable given that her profession as a physicist frequently involves dealing with supernatural activities and dimensional rifts.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Raise your right hand and say, ‘May Destiny’s Child break up if I count these blueberries.'” – Gilmore Girls

We adore the spiky camaraderie between coworkers Sookie (McCarthy) and Michel (Yanic Truesdale) in “Gilmore Girls”, particularly when Michel follows one of his stringent diets, while Sookie playfully tempts him with a freshly baked tempting dessert.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Tried A Dorito For The First Time Last Night. It Wasn’t Cheese. It Was… Cheese Adjacent, But Not Cheese. It Was Really Good!” – The Boss

For most people, a Dorito is just a common snack, but for Michelle Darnell (played by McCarthy), a wealthy woman who finds herself in financial trouble after being arrested and losing her fortune, it represents an intriguing exploration of the lower socio-economic classes.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“This Car Makes Me Ovulate. I Want To Have Shiny Purple Lamborghini Babies.” – Thunder Force

In the hilarious 2021 Netflix comedy “Thunder Force,” I found myself teamed up with my real-life buddy, Melissa McCarthy, and the fabulous Octavia Spencer as an unconventional superhero duo battling against a surge of villains called Miscreants. However, it was a sleek muscle car that left me drooling and had audiences rolling with laughter when it came to my character’s reaction!

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I Want To Chime In And Be Supportive, But I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About.” – Gilmore Girls

It’s not shocking that occasionally, Sookie would appear to be zoning out during her best friend Lorelai’s rapid chatter, given that the Gilmore girls were famously quick-talking and had been fueled by caffeine for seven consecutive seasons, as praised by Melissa McCarthy about Lauren Graham.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“You Touched My Upper Breast…I Have Very High Nipples!” – This Is 40

In a standout moment of the film “This is 40“, Peter (Paul Rudd) has a heated dispute with Catherine (Melissa McCarthy) over her pre-teen son, who she alleges was mistreated by Peter’s wife (Leslie Mann). The conversation quickly deteriorates into verbal jabs, threats, and uncomfortable gestures. However, according to Catherine, the pokes she felt were not actually on her shoulder.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“That Makes Me So Mad And So Sad. I’m Smad!” – Gilmore Girls

When Lorelai informs chef Sookie that their planned Bracebridge Dinner at the inn has been cancelled because the group is stranded in Chicago due to poor weather, she finds herself humorously overwhelmed by a variety of feelings.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“You Wanna Get Back In That Restroom And Not Rest?” – Bridesmaids

In the movie “Bridesmaids,” a humorous scene unfolds where Megan, a character, tries to charm her flight companion who turns out to be Air Marshall John, portrayed by Melissa McCarthy’s actual husband and regular co-star, Ben Falcone. This adds an extra layer of amusement to the situation.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Oh God, Your Beard Smells Like Sandwiches, That’s Nice.” – Identity Thief

During their lively road trip in Identity Thief, Sandy (Jason Bateman) encounters Diana (McCarthy) at a bar, where she was getting close to a man named Big Chuck (Eric Stonestreet), who happened to be wearing a cowboy hat. This man’s dance moves and the scent of his sandwich-laden beard seemed appealing to her.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’m Here To Swallow Gum And I’m Here To Take Names!” – Saturday Night Live

In a nod to SNL’s timeless presidential impersonations, we particularly enjoy Kate McKinnon’s portrayal of Sean Spicer, a key figure in President Donald Trump’s administration who served as the White House Communications Director. McKinnon’s version of Spicer was unique, featuring him atop a motorized podium, donning high heels, and chomping on an excessive amount of bubblegum.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Not Me, Nope, Physically, I Don’t Bloat.” – Bridesmaids

As a fellow bridesmaid, just like Rose Byrne, I might express some concerns about indulging in a large meal prior to a dress fitting. However, much like the lively Megan (played by McCarthy), I humorously assert that I need not fret over bloating, even when treating myself to a generous serving of, let’s say, questionably grey-hued meats.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“I’ll Shut The Door On You. Will You Lay Down Here And Put Your Head In The Door? Then I’ll Slam It About 157 Thousand Times.” – The Heat

Initially, the encounter between Detective Shannon Mullins (McCarthy) and Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock), in the film “The Heat,” was far from cordial, as Shannon showed little enthusiasm towards Sarah usurping an interrogation of one of her suspects.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“This Isn’t Funny! I Am Now Desperate, Lonely And A Criminal!” – Gilmore Girls

The romantic storyline between Chef Sookie and produce vendor Jackson Belleville (Jackson Douglas) is one of the most endearing aspects of Gilmore Girls. However, their relationship started off in an amusing manner with this initial date fiasco, where Sookie became anxious about asking Jackson out, fearing it might be seen as sexual harassment.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Her Lady Business Is Like An Old Dirty Attic Full Of Broken Christmas Lights And Doll Shoes.” – The Heat

In the movie “The Heat”, when Shannon (McCarthy) politely rejected Robin’s (Andy Buckley) romantic advances, she consoled him by saying, “There’s someone special out there for you,” and suggested Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) as a possible match – but not without good-naturedly teasing her first.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“It’s so romantic. ‘Oh Romeo…blah blah blah and the blah.” – Gilmore Girls

Sookie St. James (McCarthy), though proficient in a professional kitchen, might not be entirely familiar with Shakespeare’s body of work, as demonstrated in the second season of Gilmore Girls, when Rory (Alexis Bledel) was assigned to play Juliet in her school’s production.

32 Funniest Lines By Melissa McCarthy

“Quiet! I love you, too, now get out.” – Mike & Molly

In the initial season of their self-titled CBS sitcom, Mike (Billy Gardell) and Molly (McCarthy), who first crossed paths at an Overeaters Anonymous gathering, embark on a romantic journey. This blossoming relationship reaches a significant milestone when Mike proposes to Molly in front of her eighth-grade class, infusing humor into the heartwarming occasion.

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2024-09-07 18:14