32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

As a child of the ’90s who grew up with the iconic movie Clueless, I must say that Cher Horowitz, portrayed by the brilliant Alicia Silverstone, has left an indelible impact on my life. Her style, her wit, and her heart of gold have all resonated with me in one way or another.


Among the best movies of the 1990s is one that is also especially memorably and iconically quotable. I am, of course, talking about Clueless. Amy Heckerling’s 1995 teen comedy takes us into the privileged life of Alicia Silverstone’s Cher Horowitz, a teenager who’s full of good intentions, but severely lacking in any kind of clue. I had a blast revisiting the decades-old movie to seek out some of the best, most iconic and memorable quotes from the film, so let’s get into it!

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“So, ok, you’re probably going, ‘Is this like a Noxzema commercial, or what?!’ But I seriously have a way normal life for a teenage girl.”

In many aspects, Cher may seem naive, but she has a clear understanding of her life’s exterior viewpoint. To put it simply, this is much like a Noxzema commercial from that era, featuring youthful, attractive, and stylish individuals who appear flawless.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Well, at least I wouldn’t skin a collie to make my backpack.” Dionne, “It’s faux!” Cher

From the start, it’s obvious that Cher and Dionne (played by Stacey Dash) are the type of best friends who don’t hesitate to tease each other about their fashion selections. In this scenario, Cher criticizes Dionne’s Dr. Seuss-inspired hat, while Dionne points out the furry aspect of Cher’s bag (but it’s all good because it’s a faux fur!).

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“I totally paused!”

Multiple times during the film, it’s evident that Cher isn’t an exceptional driver, and this scene appears to be one of the early instances of her questionable driving skills. When Dionne notes that Cher drove through a stop sign, Cher argues that she “definitely stopped,” although I’m not entirely convinced by her claim. Even if she did halt, it’s debatable whether “completely stopping” should be considered sufficient.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Ugh, as if!”

Without a doubt, we wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to revisit some memorable lines from “Clueless” and overlook Alicia Silverstone’s most memorable moment in the film. When this unknown man assumes he has a shot with her, she swiftly pushes him aside, delivering a line that’s truly iconic.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“And in conclusion, may I please remind you, it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty!”

In conclusion, after making a compelling argument for America to celebrate alongside the Haitians, Cher adds an amusing touch to her speech by reminding everyone that the Statue of Liberty won’t be asking for an RSVP.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Whatever.”

Ah, “whatever” indeed seems to have found its stride in the 1990s as an expressive sentence, encapsulating both indifference and acceptance in a succinct manner. Amber’s use of the “W” hand gesture only serves to underscore this nonchalant yet powerful response even more.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“The way I feel about the Rolling Stones is the way my kids are gonna feel about Nine Inch Nails, so I really shouldn’t torment my mom anymore, huh.”

Reflecting on past years, I’d like to challenge the assertion that Travis’ children might view Nine Inch Nails similarly to how he sees The Rolling Stones, as I believe the former remains culturally relevant… However, I often question if I truly grasp what today’s youth find cool. Still, isn’t Nine Inch Nails still considered cool? Despite this, a random comment by Travis always amuses me. He makes it during debates, seemingly lost in thought for the past hour on this very subject, even though it seems unrelated to our discussion at hand.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Well, some teachers are trying to lowball me Daddy, and I know how you say never accept a first offer, so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.”

In a clear demonstration of their shared genes, Cher makes it apparent she’s following in her father’s footsteps when she tells him that her report card isn’t finalized yet. It seems she’s been skillfully bartering for improved grades during most semesters up until now, and there’s still a bit more effort required before she can share her official marks with him.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Duh, it’s like a famous quote!” Cher. “From where?” Dionne. “Cliff’s notes.” Cher.

Instead of Cher appearing to score points by quoting romantically for a note she slipped into Miss Geist’s (Twink Caplan) mailbox on behalf of Mr. Hall (Wallace Shawn), it turns out the quote wasn’t original but traced back to Cliff’s Notes, as revealed to Dionne.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“This is so unexpected, I didn’t even have a speech prepared.”

In Mr. Hall’s debate class, Mr. Hall endures a good deal of situations. At one instance, this involves Travis walking up to the front of the classroom to receive an unwanted award for being chronically late – an honor he attributes to various individuals such as his parents, L.A. city bus drivers, and McDonald’s employees, all of whom played a role in his tardiness, directly or indirectly.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Two permits do not equal a license.”

After Cher assures her father that it’s feasible to secure a driving ticket without a valid license, he emphasizes the importance of understanding that only one license is allowed while driving, regardless if she’s accompanied by a friend who also holds a learner’s permit. It seems Cher needs to grasp that two permits do not equate to one license.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.”

As a gamer, I figured I didn’t need to learn how to park since most places I visit offer valet service. It seemed logical at the time, but looking back, it turned out to be my undoing. When I flunked my driving test later in the movie, failing to park was just one of the many mistakes that cost me dearly, so…

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Old people can be so sweet!”

Over time, I find this statement funnier and funnier, which is surprising given that neither Miss Geist nor Mr. Hall appear particularly old to me. As Cher and Dionne observe the teachers developing a rapport from a distance, it’s clear they are smitten by the “elderly” individuals they’ve paired up.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.”

Mel can’t help but feel a swell of pride when his daughter shares her newly improved report card with him – an impressive leap from her initial scores without any test resits or additional credits earned. Instead, she managed this achievement through persuasive conversations that led to higher grades.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Miss Stoeger, that machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen!”

It’s evident that Cher is the offspring of a lawyer, demonstrated by her immediate thought about a potential lawsuit after a tennis ball was thrown at her, instead of showing surprise or concern.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Cher, she is toe-up. Our stock would plummet”

As a devoted admirer, let me point out that among the radiant stars gracing the screen in Clueless is Brittany Murphy, who makes her entrance as Tai – another teenage girl stumbling through life without a clue, yearning for a transformation. And while Cher spots an opportunity to exercise her stylistic skills on this newcomer, Dionne harbors genuine worries about the potential impact that befriending this unknown girl might have on our social standing.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Wow, you guys talk like grownups”

At her new school, it takes some time for Tai to get accustomed, yet what astounds her most is the mature way the students communicate with each other, reminiscent of adults.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“I hope not sporadically!”

Tai demonstrates her eagerness to develop and adapt when Cher suggests improving her vocabulary, and shortly afterward, during her encounter with Josh, she attempts to use the word “sporadically” in a sentence. While not entirely successful, her effort is commendable.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Get out of my chair!”

If Amy Poehler played the “cool mom” character in Mean Girls, then Dan Hedaya portrayed the “mean dad” figure in Clueless. Unlike Regina George’s mother who attempts to impress friends, Mel Horowitz shows no interest in doing so. In fact, when he first encounters Tai at his dining table, he promptly instructs her to vacate his seat.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Say Ambular. Was that you going through my laundry?”

In a friendly yet somewhat rivalrous manner, Elisa Donovan’s character, Amber, can be considered the epitome of a frenemy within their group. This is hinted at when Cher reacts to Tai’s observation about Amber wearing the same dress that Cher had recently worn.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“What am I gonna do with you now?! And right before the yearbook pictures. What am I gonna tell my grandchildren?!”

Although Clueless is primarily a comedy, it’s important to note that there’s still plenty of drama. For instance, Dionne and Murray (Donald Faison) have a huge argument at the party when Dionne discovers her boyfriend getting his head shaved. And to make matters worse, this happens just before the yearbook photos! A real nightmare.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“I’m having a Twin Peaks experience.”

Cher aimed to arrange a match between Tai and Elton (Jeremy Sisto), believing she had everything perfectly planned. However, things fell apart unexpectedly. Cher could only label this predicament as a “Twin Peaks”-like situation, especially when she discovers that Elton had feelings for her all along, not Tai.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“And then this guy with a gun held me up and took my money and my phone and he yelled at me and he forced me to ruin my dress.”

What consistently strikes me about this scene is not just how troubled Cher appears following the mugging, but rather the moment she reveals to Josh on the phone that the robber made her ruin her dress – it’s at this point that her emotions truly surface. Given what she went through – being abandoned in a parking lot and held up at gunpoint – it’s completely understandable for her to be traumatized, yet she maintains composure until mentioning this particular detail.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy said it.”

Cher might not always keep up with current events, but she’s quite familiar with Mel Gibson films, allowing her to quickly notice when Josh’s girlfriend misquotes a line. Instead of attributing the quote from Hamlet to Hamlet himself, she correctly identifies that Polonius was actually the speaker.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.”

As a devoted admirer, I’d like to share my perspective on a conversation between Cher and her friends. When the topic of her limited romantic experiences with men came up, she cleverly argued that she was simply being choosy. After all, if she’s as particular as she is about what adorns her feet, wouldn’t it make sense for her to be even more meticulous when selecting potential partners?

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“If anything happens to my daughter, I’ve got a 45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.”

From the get-go, it’s clear as day that Mel isn’t too keen on Justin Walker, and he doesn’t mince words when expressing that he wouldn’t think twice about vanishing off the face of the gaming world if anything were to befall his little girl.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“She’s a full-on Monet.”

Is it not mean of Cher to call Amber “a full-on Monet” when trying to console Tai, seeing Elton dance with her? Not at all. However, comparing someone to an impressionist painter’s style as a description might seem more clever than a typical insult should ever aspire to be. From afar, it may appear acceptable, but up close, it turns into quite a mess.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“You’re getting onto the freeway!”

While engrossed in a chat during driving practice, Dionne unwittingly drives onto the freeway, causing an instant uproar among Murray, Cher, and herself as they swerve into traffic. Murray attempts to guide Dionne from the driver’s seat until they successfully exit the congested road, but for a few tense minutes, this situation transforms the movie into a nail-biting thriller.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Should I write them a note?”

It seems like it’s during the moment when she comes very close to hitting the cyclist that Cher essentially flunks her driving test, but that’s not the end of her blunders. Later on, she accidentally hits a mirror and then winces at the thought of leaving a note.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”

Man, Cher’s tough on friendship, isn’t she? Just moments after I flunk my driving test, she turns around and shoots me down when I express interest in dating Josh. Talk about salt in a wound! That stings, big time.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Oh my god! I love Josh!”

As Cher strolls around and makes purchases, she gradually discovers her feelings for Josh (Paul Rudd) – a surprise to many! The illumination of the fountain’s lights during that pivotal moment adds an extra touch to the emotional scene.

32 Iconic Clueless Quotes

“Daddy, some people lost all their belongings, don’t you think that includes athletic equipment?”

To lend a helping hand where it’s most needed during the Pismo Beach disaster, Cher has decided to join the relief efforts, and she’s not just mobilizing encouragement. She’s also generously contributing some of her personal belongings, such as sports gear, which is certainly vital for the situation at hand.

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2024-10-02 15:08