It Took Making a Docuseries for Me to Feel OK Again (David Beckham Guest Column)

It Took Making a Docuseries for Me to Feel OK Again (David Beckham Guest Column)

As a fan, it’s truly inspiring to see David Beckham share his life experiences so candidly in his documentary “Beckham”. The journey he took, from being hesitant to relive the past, to embracing the challenge and confronting his emotions, is a testament to his strength and resilience.


When I retired in 2013, people started asking me to make a documentary about my life and career.

In the past, I wasn’t prepared to reminisce about the past. I’ve always been someone who transitioned from one endeavor to another, and there were still many goals left unmet. My parents instilled a strong work ethic in me during my childhood years. It wasn’t until we neared the decade mark since my retirement that I felt it was the opportune moment to start this adventure. This decision was significant and not made lightly. I desired to produce something for my family, a keepsake of sorts, that would compile all our shared memories in one place.

As soon as I crossed paths with director Fisher Stevens, it became apparent to me that he was the ideal individual to narrate my tale. Instead of focusing on football or his marriage to a Spice Girl, he offered a unique viewpoint and scrutinized my life from a broader angle. Our initial chats made it clear that he yearned to probe beneath the surface and comprehend me in a more profound, human sense.

Frankly, there were moments when Fisher’s straightforward manner gave me a sense of unease and apprehension. Yet, I understood that enduring this discomfort was an essential aspect of the task at hand. I made it clear to him that I intended to complete this only once, and I wanted to do it right.

Admittedly, I underestimated the level of dedication and emotional effort this undertaking would involve. It proved to be a struggle at moments. I spent more than fifty hours with Fisher, and I’d often contemplate finding excuses to avoid our sessions. After each interaction, I felt the need for solitude to unwind. Recalling the peaks and troughs of my life and profession was, on occasion, mentally and emotionally exhausting.

It struck me that I’d suppressed numerous feelings and experiences for quite a number of years. Growing up, I was taught to keep everything bottled up and maintain a strong facade. However, this was the first instance where I genuinely faced some incredibly significant moments in my life, and it proved to be a healing experience.

I came of age during a period when mental health was seldom addressed openly. Reflecting on the media’s intense scrutiny experienced by my family, especially after the 1998 World Cup and my controversial red card against Argentina, which led to widespread criticism across England, one of the most significant lessons I’ve garnered is the immense importance of taking care of our mental well-being.

Twenty years back, conversations around questions such as “Are you alright?” or “How are you feeling?” were uncommon. Nowadays, it’s wonderful that we can openly discuss these topics, something we must always appreciate. I hope anyone facing difficulties today knows they don’t have to bear the burden alone.

It’s still unclear to me how we managed during those tough periods. In the 1998 World Cup, I made an error that had severe consequences. For the following four years, I was ostracized in my homeland and faced ridicule at every match I played. As a human being, it’s natural to take such things personally, but what weighed heaviest on me was the pain I knew I caused my family.

Although creating this documentary didn’t exactly bring me a sense of finality due to the persisting pain from those past events, it certainly provided an opportunity for me to find self-forgiveness and alleviate some of my guilt. After its release, my mother gently took me aside and comforted me with the words, “You no longer have to carry that burden.” Those heartfelt words still bring tears to my eyes today.

It’s been nearly a year since “Beckham” dropped, and the reaction has blown my mind! From old friends approaching me to share they didn’t realize my struggles, to complete strangers expressing how it brought back ’90s nostalgia and stirred up their personal recollections, this game has truly resonated with people.

It wasn’t feasible for me to produce this series a decade or even five years ago. The passage of time and separation from my career allowed me the space to truly understand and come to terms with my story, and to process all that I have experienced. Now, looking back, I see that progress involves reflection. I am immensely proud of what we achieved together.

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2024-08-21 23:55