Weeks After Watching Nosferatu, I’m Kinda Depressed By The Only Things I’m Still Thinking About From It

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Below are spoilers for those who haven’t seen the movie ‘Nosferatu‘ directed by Robert Eggers, so please exercise caution (and mind your neck).

Based on Robert Eggers’ impressive body of work, his upcoming film “Nosferatu” in 2024 was a highly anticipated project for me, rivaling any other horror movie set to debut. While it undeniably boasted several aspects that earned its early critical praise, the elements that have lingered in my mind since viewing are not those responsible for its successes. Instead, I’ve found myself involuntarily preoccupied with the aspects that pulled me out of the movie the most.

Instead of keeping these thoughts bottled up inside me, I plan to actively expel them, comparing them to a pesky nuisance like a rat-infested plague. However, I will not forget to highlight some positive aspects too. But let’s start with the unpleasantness first.

Orlok’s Mustache Is The Most Monstrous Thing About Nosferatu

In simple terms, Bill Skarsgård’s acting in the role is both eerily captivating and unsettling, especially since his character’s actions are often depicted only through shadows and silhouettes. The craftsmanship of the prosthetics and makeup used on him is remarkable, as it effectively makes the actor appear disturbing from every possible angle. It’s easy to see why the creators have tried to keep the appearance of the character hidden for those who haven’t seen it yet. Hiding that mustache for as long as feasible seems essential.

Additionally, such secrecy leads to a situation where when an unconventional costume detail like Orlok’s mustache is unveiled for the first time, it becomes almost impossible not to center all other opinions around it. For example: “Wow, that scene was intense, but nothing compares to how Orlok’s mustache resembles the damp grass surrounding a sewage tank.

Orlok’s facial hair, reminiscent of depictions of Vlad the Impaler, significantly stands out against his gaunt face. Surprisingly, it is the only noticeable feature on a body that appears to be completely hairless otherwise. Despite my initial thoughts, I find the aged, scarred and scabbed skin more captivating than any mustache one might possess. The contrast of these unusual characteristics has certainly caught my attention.

Perhaps if there had been some clear reasoning behind it, I might not have developed such strong disdain for it over time. But can it be that he has no hair growth elsewhere on his body? Does he simply prefer this style? Is it necessary for him to dampen it before keeping it constantly moist throughout the day? It’s just baffling why HE doesn’t seem as repulsed by it as I am.

Among the aspects of the movie “Nosferatu,” it seems the one that could be hilariously lampooned by “Scary Movie” is particularly ripe for such treatment, and I can only wish that a cameo by Tom Selleck might be included in this parody. Indeed, his mustache is truly timeless.

Orlok Sounds Way Too Much Like Nandor From What We Do In The Shadows

Just as I find Orlok’s gaze chilling, I believe Bill Skarsgård delivers a remarkable vocal performance. The vampire’s voice is rough and resonant, with varying intensity that the sound team skillfully manipulates. At times, it feels like Orlok is lurking nearby, his mustache seeming to brush against your ear, making you feel as if your face might leap from your skull in fright.

Despite how impressive it sounded, the character’s Eastern-European accent reminded me of Kayvan Novak’s Nandor the Relentless in What We Do in the Shadows. I understand that the resemblance might be due to their exceptional performances, and I have no grudge against Skarsgård for his portrayal. However, I couldn’t help but whisper “Guillermoooo” several times after Orlok spoke a sentence, as the similarity was quite striking.

It was pleasant to recollect Nandor, given that the final episode of “What We Do in the Shadows” series aired in November 2024. However, the humorous elements might have been better suited for another film, though I can comprehend why they were used in this vampire-themed production.

A Few Other Nosferatu Takeaways

  • I agree with TopMob colleague Mike Reyes’ thoughts about Robert Eggers creating such palpable dread throughout the film in a way that isn’t utilized nearly as much as it should in modern horror.
  • Somewhat echoing the above point, Eggers and cinematographer Jarin Blaschke brought both classic and modern camera techniques to Nosferatu that definitely helped keep audiences uneasy, particularly when it came to slow and methodical pans across rooms.
  • While Bill Skarsgård quite possibly gives the best performance in the movie, the one that I genuinely enjoyed the most was the completely unhinged display from Simon McBurney as the vamp-fixated Knock. Fangs to my neck, I’d sincerely claim that McBurney is better in his relatively few scenes than Lily-Rose Depp, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Emma Corwin combined.
  • Much like every other Willem Dafoe-starring movie has proven in recent years, every movie should have Willem Dafoe in it. His weird ass portrayal might be the only purposeful slice of levity in the movie, and it was both welcomed and appreciated.
  • I’d like to still be thinking about the not-so-obvious changes to the original tale that were made for this movie, but that mustache keeps dripping unfamiliar fluids all over my other opinions.

If Robert Eggers made Nosferatu due to his intense fascination with the original film during a period when it was hard to come by, could it be that one day I’ll produce a movie centered around Count Orlok’s oatmeal-soaked mustache? While I’d prefer to think my obsession takes a different form, I certainly hope so.

The classic film “Nosferatu” continues to sink its teeth into chests and necks on stage screens today. There are rumors circulating that it will become available for rental and purchase on digital platforms as early as January 21st, though this has not been officially confirmed by Focus Features yet.

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2025-01-15 04:39