Texas House Grumbles While Bitcoin Bill Cruises to May 24 Showdown

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So, where do we even begin? U.S. states, it turns out, are acting like they’re in a race to beat the federal authorities to the punch on Bitcoin reserve policy. Texas, of all places, is leading the pack with lawmakers who have decided that public funds should go into Bitcoin. I mean, why not? Who needs roads or schools when we can buy a virtual currency that people are still debating whether it’s a good idea or not? 🤷‍♂️

The state Senate passed this proposal with a 25-2 vote. That’s right, 25-2! I mean, you know it must be a good idea if only two people disagree. What were those two thinking? “Nah, let’s just stick to regular old cash, right?” Classic! 😏

Now the bill slogs its way to the House. They’ve got until May 24 to decide if this is going to happen or if they’re just going to kick the can down the road a little longer. Dennis Porter, who’s clearly taken on the role of crypto hype man out of a bad infomercial, thinks they might actually get it to the governor’s desk. Imagine that! Who wouldn’t want to put Texas tax dollars into something that could go up and down more than a seesaw at a kid’s park? 🎢

And let’s not forget, states like Utah are lurking around, hoping to follow suit. Apparently, more than two dozen states are chewing on similar ideas. This is either a brilliant move or the beginning of a terrible trend. We just can’t tell yet! 🙄

It’s all happening right before the White House Crypto Summit tomorrow, and word on the street is that some industry bigwigs are going to rub shoulders with the big man himself, Donald Trump. It’s like the Avengers of crypto or something. Get ready for a national Bitcoin strategy reveal that’s supposed to blow our minds! At this point, it’s all speculation, but then again, when has speculation ever steered us wrong? 😜

Earlier, in a baffling twist, White House AI and Crypto Czar David Sacks said the government bungled Bitcoin management in the past. Who knew? You sell 195,000 BTC for a mere $336 million when you could’ve held onto it and gained $17 billion. Oops! It must’ve been a tough day at the office when they figured that one out. A real head-scratcher! 💁‍♂️

Also, Trump apparently says that this U.S. crypto reserve might include a whole family of coins — everything from Bitcoin to altcoins. Isn’t that cute? Like a candy store, but for digital cash! Howard Lutnick thinks BTC will be the star of the show, while the altcoins are just… well, those “other” coins that we’re not going to talk about too much. Don’t worry, it’s all “treated differently” but, you know, positively! Makes total sense, right? 😅

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2025-03-07 01:26