Oh, what a glorious and gobbledegook day it was on March 7, when oh-so-important Venture Capitalist Nic Carter, with a grin plastered on his face, couldn’t help but chirp about Trump’s latest shenaniganâa grand and glitzy White House Crypto Summit! đď¸â¨ âA Strategic Bitcoin Reserve!â he exclaimed, as if he had discovered a chocolate fountain in a candy factory.
With a flair befitting a circus ringmaster, Carter exclaimed that this announcement âcouldnât have gone better.â Well, I bet he hoped that holding out a tray of warm cookies would make those Bitcoin fans jump for joy! đŞ
But letâs not get our party hats all twisted; Carter, known for his daring escapades in exposing the Biden administration (like a detective in a comic book, mustache and all!), was positively gleeful about a few gems that glimmered from this Crypto Summit. đđź
In a world where the confusion of crypto swirls like candy in a cotton candy machine, Carter thought it savvy of Trump to whip out the strategic Bitcoin reserve and keep it snug and separate from that wild bunch of altcoins. Who knows what mischief those little fellas are up to? Perhaps they’re plotting a takeover! Meanwhile, Congress is left to wrestle with the somewhat sticky situation of those pesky altcoins. đŞđ¤ˇââď¸
âLook here, folks! Bitcoin gets the fancy U.S. government stamp of approval, while the others? Well, they can jump around like uninvited guest at a tea party!â Carter quipped with the charm of a mischievous rascal.
Oh, but here comes the kicker! Instead of dancing upwards like a balloon at a birthday bash, Bitcoin decided to perform a nifty little pirouette downward. *Whoosh!* In the blink of an eye, it slipped below the $90,000 thresholdâdown, down it went, dangling like a banana peel at $88,362! đđ
But wait! There’s more! Carter spun a tale about how the Bitcoin reserve will be constructed using BTC snatched away by the federal government, freshly picked from the criminal gardens of civil asset forfeiture. So, no taxpayer wallets shall be plundered, folksâjust good olâ government loot! Cha-ching! đ°
In a cheeky twist, Carter playfully noted that if it turned out that Bitcoinâs founderâyup, you guessed it, that mysterious Satoshi Nakamotoâwas actually an undercover agent at the NSA hoarding about a million BTC inside Fort Meade, Trumpâs order would make sure those precious coins never saw the light of day! Talk about a topsy-turvy tale! đľď¸ââď¸
After the grand performance at the Crypto Summit, the well-dressed David Sacks took to the stage, announcing the official signature of the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. Yippee! The U.S. government is sitting on about 200,000 BTC from snatched assets, but despite all the fuss, a full audit is about as likely as finding chocolate rivers in the White House kitchen! đŤđ°
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2025-03-07 11:10