SHOCKING: Bitcoin’s Soul-Crushing Descent While Wall Street Dances with Devil! 😈

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Notes from Underground: The Market’s Confession 🎭

  • Ah, how the bourgeoisie rejoice in their stock market paradise, while Bitcoin, that poor underground man, suffers in solitude! 😔
  • Those foolish tariff headlines, like whispers from Demons, seduce the masses into their capitalist frenzy.
  • Yet, in the grand scheme of our tormented existence, Bitcoin maintains its revolutionary spirit against the Nasdaq’s mediocrity.

The “decoupling,” dear reader, has returned like an unwanted visitor in the night, mocking our cryptocurrency dreams with its sardonic laughter! 😱

After the prophesied “Black Monday” revealed itself to be nothing but a fever dream, the stock market, that grand theater of human greed, soars to absurd heights while Bitcoin wallows in its existential crisis.

Two hours into this tragicomedy they call “trading,” the Nasdaq, that insufferable showman, parades around with its 3% gains, while our beloved Bitcoin – oh, the cruel irony! – having briefly flirted with $80,000, now retreats like Raskolnikov into the shadows of $78,000, perpetually haunted by its weekend sins at $75,000. 🎭

The market’s euphoria stems from that great puppet master Trump’s social media proclamations about Korea, while Treasury Secretary Bessent plays the fool, optimistically dancing about China. How they all dance to the tune of their own delusions! 🤡

This madness isn’t confined to our shores – no! Europe gorges itself on 3% gains, while Japan’s Nikkei, in a fit of manic ecstasy, leaps 6% like a man possessed! 🌏

But why, you ask, dear suffering reader? 🤔

Perhaps, in our collective insanity, we should step back from this absurdist performance. Since Wednesday’s grand proclamation of tariffs, Bitcoin has shed 9% of its earthly value, matching the Nasdaq’s 8% descent into the abyss. We are all equals in our suffering! 😂

Yet, if we dare to gaze deeper into the void, we find that Bitcoin, despite its 30% fall from January’s heavenly heights, still maintains a 14% gain since November’s electoral circus, while the Nasdaq wallows in its 10% loss. Such is the nature of our financial purgatory! 🎪

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2025-04-08 18:52