Crypto Skyrocket?! 🚀

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Right then, gather ’round, because some bloke, calls himself a crypto analyst, is having a bit of a pronouncement about Bitcoin (that’s BTC to those in the know, or those pretending to be, anyway) and those altcoins – the ones that aren’t Bitcoin, naturally. Seems he’s feeling rather bullish, but only for the “very short-term,” mind you. Wouldn’t want to get too excited, would we? 🙄

This analyst, a shadowy figure known only as Capo (probably wears a hat and trench coat, the mysterious sort), has a following of 950,600 on that social media thingummy, X. Apparently, after President Donald Trump (yes, still!) decided to have a little pause on America’s global trading partners (whatever that means), things are looking up.

Bitcoin, they say, could rally by a whopping 22% from where it’s currently lounging. And the altcoins? Well, they could “skyrocket” by up to 2x! Yes, two times! Over the next few days, no less. Don’t spend it all at once, eh? 😉

“After the 90-day pause on tariffs, the market is reacting well. BTC could move towards the $92,000 – $98,000 zone. Many altcoins could bounce 50% – 100%.”

At the time of quill-scribbling, Bitcoin is teetering around $80,420. A king’s ransom, if you ask the average street sweeper.

However! (There’s always a ‘however,’ isn’t there?) Our friend Capo reckons that in a few weeks, the crypto market might just decide to throw another wobbler, a right proper capitulation, as they say. Like a toddler chucking its toys out of the pram. 👶

“Whether triggered by renewed tariff talk or something else (another pandemic scare, or escalating conflict), we’ll need to adapt as things develop. But the probability is high.”

After this grand display of market theatrics, Capo suggests that altcoins might then get their act together and embark on a bullish trend. For a few months, anyway.

“Some altcoins might break highs, others won’t. But prices are now very oversold, and returns could be very good. Even if a black swan hits, that would only improve the accumulation zones forming since late March.”

Now, according to this Capo chap, the Bitcoin bull market might just decide to pop its clogs in the third quarter, with the bear market lumbering onto the scene in September. Get your winter coats ready, folks. 🐻

“This is where things could get really ugly. Like I’ve said before, this “bull market” never felt like a real bull market. BTC was pushed up artificially by [exchange-traded funds] ETFs and USDT/USDC minting. Meanwhile, many altcoins are still near their lows. This disconnect is concerning.”

September might be a key pivot.” So there you have it. Crypto, eh? More twists and turns than a drunken maypole dancer. Good luck with that. 🤪

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2025-04-11 17:41