Bitcoin’s Weekend Shenanigans: Is It All a Big Setup?

by

Alright, listen up. Bitcoin, in its infinite wisdom, decided to jack up 5% this weekend, flirting with that $85K mark. Really? Again? I’m telling you, it’s like watching a rerun of a bad joke. 🤨

Then you’ve got Daan Crypto Trades, who sounds like he’s about to blow a gasket. He warns us that the top dog’s been pulling this weekend gap-and-trap stunt for six weeks straight! Six freakin’ weeks! I mean, come on, are we serious? 🤦

According to our resident market oracle, these weekend pumps are nothing more than low-liquidity, high-hype shenanigans. As if every weekend move is cursed to backfire by midweek. Classic, right? Like trusting your buddy to actually show up on time. Not a chance.

“Don’t buy into holiday cheer – it’s a trap!” he practically screamed to his 403,000 followers on X, sharing yet another chart that screams ‘been there, done that.’

But hold on, the drama doesn’t stop. Former BitMEX CEO Arthur Hayes strolls in with his signature provocation, declaring, “It’s on like Donkey Kong!” as if the Fed’s about to sprinkle some magic liquidity dust on everything. Sure, Arthur, sure. 🙄

“Buy everything,” he hollers, riding high on reports that a bigwig at the Fed is ready to jump in. Apparently, this is the golden ticket to rocket Bitcoin into what he cheerfully calls “UP ONLY” mode. I’m sitting here with my popcorn, wondering where the punchline is.

And just when you think it can’t get any more absurd, a poll from Altcoin Daily shows 75.5% of crypto fanatics are betting on a new all-time high for Bitcoin before 2025. Hayes even envisions a $250K finish if macro forces play nice. Yeah, right – because I love betting on miracles.

To top it off, CoinGecko reports that Bitcoin went from a low of $81.5K to that pumped $85K, barely outpacing the overall crypto slump. With a dominance sitting at 60.5% and a daily volume of $31.3 billion, it’s still the king – but don’t forget, it’s 23% below its glory days. One careless headline and this whole carnival could come crashing down. 🤷

Read More

2025-04-12 21:08