Why Your Altcoins Could Crash Harder Than Your Last Diet đŸżđŸ”„

by

So here we are again, watching the crypto market waltz dangerously close to a nosedive, thanks to President Trump’s ever-charming tariff policy. Just when you thought your portfolio was safe from geopolitical soap operas, along comes Jerome Powell, the Federal Reserve Chair, dropping hints that these tariffs might send US inflation on a joyride. Spoiler alert: Joyrides usually end badly for altcoins. Buckle up, crypto enthusiasts, it’s time to talk about which altcoins you should probably dump before the market turns uglier than a Zoom call with bad lighting.

Fed Chair Says Tariffs = Inflation. Sell Altcoins or Sell Your Soul?

Powell, the maestro of economic doom, says tariffs are the new villain in the inflation saga. Reuters grabbed some experts to confirm that the economy’s performance is looking shakier than a toddler on a sugar rush. One market oracle grumbled,

“Powell is basically the town crier now, yelling about slowing growth and stubborn inflation because of tariffs. Investors are not thrilled.”

Meanwhile, Trump’s firing off posts on Truth Social blaming Powell’s hawkish vibe for the market jitters. Apparently, other central banks are playing it cool with low rates, while Powell’s standing firm, giving crypto traders more reasons to grip their stress balls.

Trump portrait with dramatic flair

Despite all this financial soap opera, the CME FedWatchTool tells us 87% of investors think interest rates are staying put next month. So, brace yourself: crypto could get as volatile as your last family reunion. Traders, this means you better start eyeballing those altcoins to sell before your gains evaporate like free samples at Costco.

Top 3 Altcoins to Offload Before You Cry Into Your Keyboard

As the economic mood sinks to somewhere near “gray cloud,” crypto investors are scrambling for exits faster than a squirrel spotting a cat. Here’s the not-so-glamorous list of altcoins to chuck out, pronto: Mantra (OM), Pi Network (PI), and Trump (TRUMP). No, the last one isn’t a late April Fool’s joke.

Mantra (OM)

Remember Mantra? It recently took a nosedive so spectacular it deserves an Olympic medal in falling. Down a stomach-churning 92% from its glory days just two months ago, it’s in the kind of bear market that makes even grizzly bears say, “No thanks.” The technical mumbo jumbo — RSI sitting at zombie-level 27 and ADX rising like it’s having espresso — screams “more pain ahead.” If Mantra were a movie, it’d be a horror flick. đŸ©žđŸŽŹ

Mantra chart plunging

Pi Network (PI)

Pi Network’s scene is less horror, more soap opera: token unlocks are about to flood the market like your inbox after a weekend away. Over 10 million Pi Coins are hitting circulation next month, which, if you’re into economics, is basically crypto speak for “hold onto your hats, it’s dumping time.” As analyst Dr Altcoin put it with the gravitas of a Shakespearean tragedy, these unlocks are why Pi’s price is playing limbo—how low will it go? Spoiler: pretty low.

Pi Network price chart dropping

TRUMP (TRUMP)

And then there’s TRUMP, the meme coin that’s making investors double-check if they really want their money in a cryptocurrency named after America’s most notorious blender of controversy. The funding rates are so negative, they’d give your bank account a complex. Long positions? Plenty. Optimism? Barely. It’s like the coin itself is saying, “Hold my tweet, I’m about to crash.” 😬📉

Trump coin chart tanking

TL;DR — Sell These Altcoins Before They Sell You

Jerome Powell warns tariffs are fueling inflation, the Fed is playing hardball, and the crypto market’s mood is conveniently summarized as “Hold my beer.” If you want to avoid getting roasted, dump Mantra (OM), Pi Network (PI), and the TRUMP meme coin faster than you can say “blockchain bubble.” Or don’t, and enjoy the ride down the crypto rollercoaster that’s starting to look more like a plunge.

Read More

2025-04-17 17:23