Ah, behold the grand spectacle of Bitcoin prancing over the $95,000 mark—pre-market bulls stampeding with the reckless joy of a man who found his lost rubles. The momentum, a wild beast hungry for $102,500, prowls amid the distant echoes of U.S. tariff tinkering and those mystical runes called technical indicators.
The Market’s Mischievous Ballet: Bitcoin (BTC) Dances Past $95K
On a cold, dim April Sunday, Bitcoin, like a rebellious hero from a Gogol tale, tore beyond the dreary $95,100 barrier. The weekend had been a lazy doze near $93,000—perhaps a nap for the creature—but Sunday brought a frenzy of buying pressure, sweeping global crypto bazaars as if Pugachev himself returned.
Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, news arrived that President Trump, that unpredictable wizard, intended to reverse tariffs on Chinese goods—prompting not just stocks and commodities but even our dear Bitcoin to pirouette with unexpected delight.
By midday, the digital ouroboros ticked to $95,115, boasting a modest 1.0% 24-hour victory lap, as reported from the oracles at CoinGecko.
On the weekly stage, Bitcoin trumpeted a 10.6% leap—leaving the usual suspects like Nasdaq, S&P 500, and even the stoic gold futures tasting dust. The month’s numbers cling proudly to 11.8%, and the year-to-date returns flirt shamelessly with 48.4%.
From the Cryptic Lips of Changpeng Zhao: “Buy the Dip, or Forever Hold Your Peace”
In the digital ether of X (once Twitter, now something more enigmatic), Changpeng “CZ” Zhao—the sorcerer king of Binance—drops a terse, almost Zen-like hint: “I hope you bought the dip.” Spoken like a true oracle just as Bitcoin tiptoed back above $95,000.

Brief, enigmatic, laden with the weight of a thousand satoshis, CZ’s murmurs stir the crypto masses like a pied piper reshuffling his pack of dancing coins. When the head of the world’s largest crypto exchange speaks, both janitor and tycoon listen with bated breath.
Bitcoin Today: Bulls Sharpen Their Hoofers, Aiming for $102,500
Today’s forecast? Bullish as a drunken reveler clinging steadfastly to the upper Keltner Channel at $94,319.51—a line as mysterious to outsiders as the master’s password.
The charts from the profound TradingView suggest BTC’s current vigor is no mere whim, signaling a possible charge toward $102,500, a number whispered in the shadows of crypto taverns.
The Parabolic SAR—some sort of arcane measure placed beneath the price, now resting at $87,224.78—confirms the bull’s party is very much alive and kicking.
RSI, that fickle dance partner, sits at 66.31, flirting dangerously with the overbought threshold of 70—but there’s still room on the floor for a few more moves before exhaustion.
Yet beware! Should Bitcoin stumble below the $93,600 mark, the jovial folly risks a sober retreat toward the Keltner’s base camp at $88,615—a bearish soiree no one desires but often must endure.
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2025-04-28 05:55