You Won’t Believe How the UK Is Copying the U.S. on Crypto (And What Could Go Wrong!)

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  • The UK is basically looking at what the U.S. is doing with crypto and saying, “Eh, we’ll have what they’re having.” 🤦‍♂️
  • The U.S. is now the big show-off, stacking Bitcoin, so Switzerland’s like, “Hey, should we grab some of that too?” Next thing you know, everyone’s hoarding digital coins like they’re Beanie Babies in the 90s. 🧸💰

So here we are: Donald Trump struts back into the White House as President #47, and suddenly the U.S. is grinning at crypto like it just discovered a new golf course behind the Treasury. Who could’ve seen that coming, right? The crackdown’s out, the bear hugs are in. The rest of the world? Everybody’s peeking through the blinds, wondering if they missed a memo.

The UK? Oh, they’re all over it. “Let’s regulate crypto!” they say, acting like this is a completely original idea, not just a page ripped out of America’s playbook. Very creative. Very cutting edge. Let’s align! Because when you need inspiration, you always look across the pond to the guys who invented the $7 cup of watery coffee.☕️

The UK takes inspiration from the U.S.

Finance Minister Rachel Reeves (is she excited about this? Unclear) just announced the UK’s basically copy-pasting U.S. financial regs onto crypto. Apparently, it’s less EU, more ‘We Want to Be Cool with the Yanks.’ Groundbreaking stuff. Two big nations, arm-in-arm, ready to overthink the blockchain into oblivion.

And the government’s official take? “Look, we’re putting exchanges, dealers, agents—all of ‘em—under the Big Friendly Regulatory Umbrella. No more funny business. Unless it’s the kind with champagne and a yacht.”

“Under the new rules, crypto exchanges, dealers and agents will be brought into the regulatory perimeter – cracking down on bad actors while supporting legitimate innovation. Crypto firms with UK customers will also have to meet clear standards on transparency, consumer protection, and operational resilience.” (Translation: If you enjoyed the old confusion, you’re really going to love the new confusion.)

UK’s role in crypto adoption

According to Chainalysis—who, let’s face it, probably have a lot of Excel spreadsheets—Central & Southern Asia and Oceania are killing it in crypto adoption. The UK’s at number 12, which is impressive if you ignore there are only 195 countries in the world. And now, a whopping 12% of British adults have toyed with crypto. That’s triple what it was in 2021. Must be all those Wednesday nights at the pub, someone saying, “You know what you need? A little Ethereum.”

The Bank of England’s Andrew Bailey? He’s not convinced. “Bitcoin isn’t a store of value!” he cries, probably clutching a stack of old twenty-pound notes. Yet, he does admit maybe stablecoins have a future. If you’re confused, join the club.

Challenges faced by the UK

Of course, there’s always a catch. The UK’s getting a reputation for regulation so strict, even the Queen wouldn’t get her coinbase account approved. Fintech execs are whispering about relocating. Pension funds refuse to take risks, probably because they remember the Great British Bake Off scandal (different kind of dough, same logic).

The upshot? “Let’s make it really hard for new businesses. That’ll show those plucky innovators!” Spoiler: the plucky innovators move to Portugal and become sun-tanned millionaires.

What’s more?

The U.S. keeps dangling its “We’re Leading the World” flag in front of everybody—somebody stop them, really. Establishing reserves in Bitcoin, other countries start following along like it’s a TikTok trend. Switzerland, not wanting to be left out, now wonders, “Should we get some Bitcoin? Everyone else is doing it!”

This whole routine? It’s the domino effect, except instead of pizza, it’s digital currency, and instead of fun, it’s a committee meeting.🍕➡️💸

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2025-04-30 22:29