Once, in the fevered lamplight of Wall Street, destiny stirred within Morgan Stanley, that colossus harboring $1.3 trillion dreams. Their announcement resounded—cryptocurrency, heretofore the darling of secretive geniuses and Twitter prophets, would soon be offered to the everyman of E*TRADE.
As if hearing the distant thunder of blockchain, Morgan Stanley yearned for relevance in this unyielding march of progress. To the retail investor, long shackled to ETFs and mutual funds, they now extend a trembling hand— “Here! Trade coins spun from the breath of speculation and the sigh of code. Satisfy your cravings, or at least make family dinners more awkward.”
The result? E*TRADE’s platform, once a polite suburban station, is now to be littered with digital assets, ripe for the picking. Even your neighbor, who still can’t work his WiFi, might soon be mining memecoins for lunch money. And somewhere, far off, a banker quietly wonders what on earth an NFT is supposed to look like.
This is not just progress; this is the spectacle of finance donning a new coat, scratching its head, and whispering, “Are we… hip now?” 🤔🚄
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2025-05-01 14:12