- With the weariness of an old revolutionary, Two Prime abandons Ethereum, muttering about memecoins and risk the way one mutters about bad soup at a communal table.
- Cardano, meanwhile, strides past Ethereum in developer activity like a peasant who suddenly finds himself mayor—for today, at least.
Ethereum [ETH] finds itself at the center of a storm of institutional grumbling, after the venerable but world-weary SEC-registered investment advisor Two Prime stood up, shook the dust off its coat, and announced a complete exit from the asset. (Not even a tip of the hat on the way out. Cold!)
Declaring Ethereum’s “memecoin-like” escapades about as predictable as a cat in a burlap sack—and value as wobbly as a chair in a Dostoevsky novel—Two Prime has decided to throw all its chips in with Bitcoin [BTC]. One can only imagine the somber faces at the Ethereum table, eyes averted, tea growing cold.
Why Did Two Prime Give ETH the Boot?
After years of slogging through the ETH trenches, lending with the urgency of a breadline during winter, Two Prime finally declared: enough! No more will they chase reward at the risk of stepping on financial rakes. Ethereum, they insist, just isn’t fit for grown-up asset management—or at least, for people who don’t enjoy unexpectedly losing their shirts. 🍞👔
With hearts perhaps a little lighter (or just emptier), the firm now sets its sights solely on Bitcoin, ready to compose a tragic post-mortem on its ETH years. Anyone for a requiem?
The press release thundered,
investors stampeded into Bitcoin ETFs at a rate trumping Ethereum 24 to 1. BTC supply in ETFs? More than doubled ETH’s, as if ETH misplaced half its assets after a night in the tavern. 🍺📉
The firm quipped,
“From my perspective, ETH became a victim of its early success, growing into a bureaucratic and ideological organization rather than one focused on building a tech product.”
And–with the finality of a judge passing sentence–added,
“Bitcoin stands alone in its use case. It has no competitor in digital assets. It aims to be one thing, and it does it well. Institutions flock to economies and assets that are consistent and predictable.”
Meanwhile, Cardano: Upstart in the Alley
But, as with every good Russian drama, an upstart emerges: Cardano. Recent whispers suggest Cardano now tops Ethereum in core developer activity, like a boisterous factory worker clocking more hours than the old guard. At this rate, who knows who’ll be the next hero—or villain?
Two Prime’s public walkout briefly nudged Ethereum’s price down (it’s okay, ETH, everyone needs a good cry sometimes), but the larger marketplace continues to dance and drink, no matter who’s left coatless in the snow.
Bitcoin, ever the steely-eyed survivor, keeps its gains tight, letting others flail. At last count, Ethereum was sitting at $1,819.39—just enough for a few loaves of bread, or a bittersweet cup of tea at the end of a long journey. 🫖😅
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2025-05-02 17:21