You Won’t Believe When Crypto Bulls Buy…And When They Panic! 👀🐂

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Oh, what a spectacle! An entire flock of earnest crypto hopefuls, eyes ablaze with the light of a thousand fever-dreams, observe the twitching dance of markets as if reading sacred chicken entrails. Into this teeming bazaar strides Anthony Pompliano—a bull, yes, but also the sort of bull that, if you made a stew of him, would taste precisely like speculation.

Our hero Pompliano, with all the gravitas of a portly colonel at the balalaika, declares: Now is the time for the small, trembling investor to act! Forget what the professionals do—let them trundle off into the vodka-soaked night with their bearish grumbles! “While the mighty are timid, the meek must rise,”—or something to that effect—booms the oracle of pomposity.

Despair, Panic, Opportunity—A Love Triangle

On the fateful date of May 5, Pompliano takes to X (how poetic, such a mysterious letter for such unpredictable wisdom), unleashing upon the world the sort of advice that, if bought in bulk, could paper the walls of every bankrupt café in Saint Petersburg. In short: Bear markets are fat geese just waiting to be plucked by the enterprising peasant. Oh, joy!

He insists the more the professionals moan and gnash their teeth, the riper the moment becomes for the humble folk to empty their pockets into the abyss. “The air hangs thick with pessimism!” he cries—which, in crypto-land, is probably indistinguishable from everyday weather.

It is always a good time to buy when the professional investors are bearish.

And the amount of bearishness coming from investors right now is palpable.

— Anthony Pompliano 🌪 (@APompliano) May 5, 2025

Normally, wise buyers bide their moments like chess prodigies planning their endgames. But Pompliano—ah!—will have none of this. Why wait? Surely, with the professionals running away, there’s no risk at all! Commenters, ever helpful, quickly form a choir: some skeptical, some outright amused, and at least one asking if Pompliano’s advice comes with a free ticket to the debtors’ prison.

Meanwhile, the great whales of finance seem to have caught a whiff of something bullish as well, scurrying about to buy up Bitcoins as if they were steaming pierogis at a summer market, according to native gossip from U.Today.

Stampede, or Le Grand Exit?

Out in the steppes of crypto trading, bearish winds blow and numbers plummet! Coins flop back to yesterday’s humiliations. The treasury, formerly fit for a czar, now sits at $2.94 trillion—a king’s ransom for most, mere couch-cushion change for Bitcoin’s more loyal subjects, at least according to CoinMarketCap’s court tallies.

But hark! Even as prices meander downwards like a bureaucrat’s career path, the hustle and bustle grows—a trading volume surging up over 40%, as if every last babushka and street urchin suddenly decided to try their luck on the spinning crypto carousel. One could almost hear the laughter of fate. Or perhaps it’s just the sound of wallets emptying.

Wise or not, many now clutch their digital rubles to chest, steeling themselves against yet another descent. Still, is it panic? Is it opportunity? Is it both? Is it neither? The line, dear reader, blurs like Pompliano’s certainty after his third cup of kvass.

Latest metrics from LunarCrush show only 80% of investors still claim bullishness—a figure which, for Bitcoin, is practically the equivalent of mourning in the provinces. Engagements drop, hope wobbles, and still the faithful post memes, as if to convince the Tsar himself to join the crypto revolution.

And so, dear reader, as the moon waxes, perhaps now is the moment to buy—or to sell—or, as is most prudent, to laugh 😆, shake your head at mankind’s folly, and watch the crypto circus wheel on.

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2025-05-05 22:53