Metaplanet Drops $50M on Bitcoin—Because Who Needs Interest Anyway?

by

Could This Be the World’s Most Expensive Get-Rich-Quick Scheme? 😏💰

Japanese investment powerhouse Metaplanet just decided to whip out a cool $50 million—no interest, no fuss—via some fancy bonds that basically promise to pay back more Bitcoin than actual cash. Because why not turn debt into digital gold? 🤑

They’re issuing these bonds in $1.25 million chunks—because who doesn’t want to buy quiet, interest-free IOUs? Investors won’t see a single cent of interest, but hey, the hope is they’ll someday get richer when the bonds redeem. Genius? Probably, if you believe in fairy tales and Bitcoin’s long-term fairy godmother. 🧚‍♀️

Leading the charge is Evo Fund from the Cayman Islands—because what’s a little offshore investment to keep things spicy? They’ve been the primary backer, subscribing to multiple rounds of these zero-interest bonds, fueling Metaplanet’s Bitcoin obsession. It’s like a trust fall—except instead of trust, it’s bonds, and instead of fall, it’s falling into the unknown crypto abyss. 🙃

The bonds are unsecured—because what’s a little risk when you’re betting on Bitcoin’s bright future? No collateral, no admin—just sheer faith that Bitcoin’s going up, up, and away! 🚀

Metaplanet: Expecting 2025 to Be Just Fine (Probably, Maybe)

The company claims this $50 million boost will barely move the needle come 2025. But if you’re thinking, “Well, that’s reassuring,” don’t worry—Metaplanet promises to keep us posted if things go sideways. Spoiler: probably not. 📉

This crypto enthusiasm is part of a larger trend—companies ditching boring old cash for shiny Bitcoin because, apparently, capitalism is just a giant game of “How Crazy Can We Go?” 🥳

They’ve already snagged over 1,000 Bitcoin worth more than $100 million—picture that, literally a small country’s GDP—and now hold 7,800 BTC, valued over $800 million. According to BitcoinTreasuries.NET, they’re up almost 20%. Why stop now? When you’re on a mission to turn digital coins into Swiss bank account levels of wealth, who needs logic? 🤷‍♂️

Meanwhile, the stock price has been riding high—because when your Bitcoin exposure looks five times more valuable than it really is, everyone loves a good bubble. TenX Research even says investors are “dramatically overpaying” but hey, that’s capitalism for ya! 💸

Boo, Hiss! Bitcoin Critics Just Might Be Right

Not everyone’s clapping. Jim Chanos, the wise investor with a crystal ball, is throwing shade, saying he’s selling stocks to buy Bitcoin directly—because what could go wrong with that plan? Apparently, he thinks corporate Bitcoin strategies are overpriced, like a designer bag at a thrift store that’s actually a designer. 👜

Read More

2025-05-28 11:13