Elon Musk’s Epic Battle Against Trump’s Budget: The Great American BBQ of Politics

Once upon a time, in a universe slightly less chaotic than a toddler’s playroom, Elon Musk decided to leave his gig at the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). Yes, that’s right — Musk has officially given up his title of “Head of Making Things That Might Be Useful” and now spends his days telling lawmakers to kill a bill so big, it probably needs its own zip code.

On the platform formerly known as Twitter (or as Musk prefers, “X”), he took to what we assume was a carefully curated digital soapbox and shouted—or rather, typed enthusiastically—about the dangers of Trump’s “big, beautiful” bill, which apparently has enough financial heft to make a banker sit up and say, “Well, that’s not my problem.”

“Call your Senator,
Call your Congressman,
Bankrupting America is NOT ok!
KILL the BILL.”

Meanwhile, Musk labeled Trump’s pet project a “disgusting abomination,” which is a pretty strong word coming from someone whose business card probably reads “Potentially Multi-Planetary Overlord.”

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore,” Musk confesses, which is notable considering most of his days are spent bickering with robots and writing satellites into orbit. “This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination. Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.”

Apparently, Musk believes the entire document should be redrafted, which is a polite way of saying, “This thing is so bad it probably needs a complete overhaul—perhaps even replaced with a slightly less catastrophic version.”

“A new spending bill should be drafted that doesn’t massively grow the deficit and increase the debt ceiling by 5 TRILLION DOLLARS,” he adds, with a tone that implies he has a full portfolio of throwing financial tantrums.

His stance isn’t exactly a surprise, given that Musk has long warned that America’s debt is threatening to turn our glorious land into a giant, bankrupt asteroid. He has heroically claimed that although DOGE (yes, the meme currency) has been helping delay the inevitable, only radical productivity improvements will save us from economic doom—kind of like trying to fix a sinking ship with a Band-Aid and a YouTube tutorial.

Meanwhile, in the realm of political soap operas, NBC News reports that during a clandestine (or at least semi-public) chat with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, Trump remarked, “I’m very disappointed because Elon knew the inner workings of this bill. I’ve helped Elon a lot…”

He went on to complain about the electric vehicle mandate, which he claims was a “lot of money,” but frankly, considering how much of it Elon’s company has already spent on rockets and batteries, maybe they’re just jealous of the EVs’ shiny new electric garden gnomes.

However, Musk counters by claiming that without him, Trump’s presidential ship would’ve sunk faster than a stone in an Olympic-sized swimming pool—probably because he’s the real master of political timing, or at least a very attentive spectator.

“Without me, Trump would have lost the election, Dems would control the House and the Republicans would be 51-49 in the Senate,” Musk declares, confirming once again that he’s possibly the most important person you’ve never met—unless you’re a political historian, an alien, or just someone who loves chaos wrapped in sarcasm.

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2025-06-05 21:44