Bitcoin, forever the dashing enfant terrible of modern finance, pirouettes with remarkable poise while missiles fly, oil ships shudder, and analysts fret noisily into their spreadsheets. The Israeli airstrike on Iran may have caused polite panic among world leaders, but the champion of cryptographic tomfoolery continues to waltz undeterred—at least until Nic Puckrin, crypto oracle and, presumably, reluctant wicked stepmother of Coin Bureau, cast his somber gaze over the Strait of Hormuz.
According to Puckrin—whose weekends, one assumes, consist of nervously checking headlines between sips of tepid tea—Bitcoin remains at the mercy of international intrigue:
“The biggest risk is if Iran were to close the Strait of Hormuz, which ferries nearly 20% of the world’s oil supply. If it does, oil will see a massive spike, and risk assets will fall off a cliff. And, if this happens over the weekend, the market that trades 24/7 — crypto — will once again take the hit.”
One must imagine Sisyphus happy, and Bitcoin holders even happier, because—according to Puckrin—geopolitics only jostles the short-term. The long-term? Mere fluff! For Bitcoin’s enduring fate is married not to the mood swings of nations, but to the battered, flailing US dollar, which now seems to have the constitution of a Victorian poet after one brandy too many. Long-term, the dwindling greenback could send our digital treasure yet higher—because nothing spells “security” like a supply cap and a meme.
As the world’s mighty and meek argue whether Bitcoin is a risk-on ruffian or a stately store of value, both retail adventurers and suit-clad cryptofiles clutch their ledger keys and check charts with the dedication of fortune-tellers staring into particularly pixelated crystal balls. 🤹‍♂️💸
Long-Term Bitcoin Devotees: Masters of Accumulation
Enter: the steadfast hodlers! These noble creatures—a rare breed who have never let a single Satoshi slip their grasp—keep shoveling coins aboard their digital arks, heedless of the storm outside. CryptoQuant’s Burak Kesmeci, no stranger to romantic statistics, reports that on June 11, these relentless collectors swept up 30,784 BTC, or roughly $3.3 billion—presumably because “when in doubt, buy the dip” is easier than therapy.
After that exuberant scooping frenzy, Bitcoin’s so-called accumulation addresses—presumably wallets with the willpower of a Victorian matron at a pastry buffet—held an eye-popping 2.91 million BTC. The average entry price? A modest $64,000 per coin, because, as always, the best time to buy Bitcoin was in 2010. The second-best? Now, obviously. Cheers to the hodlers—may your nerves be steady and your passwords unforgettable! 🥂🔑
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2025-06-13 20:27