This isn’t just your snooze-worthy, moth-eaten line of credit. Oh, no! Teng insists (on X, with all the pomp of a sideshow barker) that this latest concoction is a whiz-bang, portfolio-juicing gizmo: it’ll let institutions wring every last drop of liquidity out of their holdings, like a child with a tube of toothpaste. “It reimagines access to liquidity!” Teng chirped (probably with jazz hands). 🤹♂️
On the dreary, humid morning of July 3, our dear friends in Singapore—no less tormented by existential dread than anyone else—raised $25.5 million. Not enough to buy off God, but more than enough for a quarter of their ambitious goal: a $100 million crypto reserve fund. Bravo, Amber! Who among us has not committed, with trembling conviction, to a sum far beyond our reach, then called the quarter victory a triumph worthy of Dostoevskian grandeur?
The committee session, which will take place on Wednesday at 10:00 AM ET, will focus on enhancing the structure of the crypto market, a long-awaited legislative proposal that can shape the landscape of cryptocurrency in the US. 🏛️
It appears that MEXC has blocked a whopping $2.2 million in stolen funds over the past two months. But that’s not all, folks! They’ve also reimbursed a staggering $559 million to derivatives traders. We’re not sure what’s more impressive, the amount of money they’ve blocked or the fact that they’ve managed to make derivatives trading sound exciting 🤯.
Recently, the seer by the pseudonym of Rekt Capital unveiled charts so complex that even Professor Woland himself might require spectacles. Sifting through bygone halvings, our analyst found that each cycle, like a stubborn bureaucrat, peaks between 518 and 550 days after the halving. This, of course, is an omen as old as the state lottery… or at least since 2016.