Announced June 23 (write it on your hand with a sharpie so you don’t forget), Plume declared in their big official blog post that Agora, founded by Nick van Eck—who, contrary to rumor, was NOT the model for the Monopoly Man—brings “institutional-grade” stablecoin chops to their platform. If you mumble ‘institutional-grade’ three times, a guy from Wall Street actually appears behind you and asks for your wallet.
After lounging for weeks like a drowsy marquise on the chaise longue of “support zones,” XRP tumbled forthwith—alas!—sending traders, those valiant fortune-hunters, into fits of hand-wringing and muttered curses. The decline, dear friends, springs not merely from technical riddles, but also from that bedeviling malady known as “underperformance”—a disease which XRP catches each season, especially when compared to the grand monsieur Bitcoin or those brash altcoin upstarts. 😱
In case you’re imagining a citrus-themed PowerPoint, rest easy: it was all about Bitcoin. As it turns out, Saylor’s minimalistic tweets aren’t just a minimalist’s dream—they’re the sort of deep-code his devoted followers read like ancient runes. Today, Strategy sits on a mountain, more than 592,000 BTC high, worth something in the neighborhood of $60 billion. That’s almost enough for a decent apartment in Manhattan, or at least a parking space. With Bitcoin just shy of $101,000, the faintest movement of Saylor’s thumbs can send prices skyward and blood pressures upward.
Miss Lily Liu, the esteemed President of the Solana Foundation, recently put pen to paper on a Memorandum of Understanding—a term so grand it is perhaps designed to frighten away less determined suitors. One wonders if she wore her best bonnet for the occasion; diplomacy, after all, is most effective when fashion is not neglected. 👒
In a literary flourish upon X (the social network, not ex-lovers—though heartbreak abounds here too), the aforementioned CZ twirled his cane and rapped thrice on the threat: beguiling scammers have embedded themselves amid the gilded indexes of citadels such as Cointelegraph and CoinMarketCap, hawking digital dreams with the persistence of Nabokov pursuing butterflies.