Would you believe it? These number-crunching Oompa Loompas at BCG and Ripple predict a simply enormous 53% growth rate! It’s like watching a financial elevator zoom straight through the roof, though hopefully not through any chocolate-covered glass! 🚀
According to the so-called experts, who wield their charts like wands, XRP is continuing its downward spiral with all the grace of a drunken ballet dancer. The daily chart, a veritable tapestry of despair, shows XRP retesting its recent breakdown of the key support level at $1.95. Oh, the drama!
In a tweet that sounds suspiciously like a late-night snack confession, Hayes admitted, “Been nibbling on $BTC all day, and shall continue. Shitcoins are getting in our strike zone but I think #bitcoin dominance keeps zooming towards 70%.” 🍕💰
In a twist worthy of a soggy Bridget Jones diary entry, just a week ago, market chatter was all about a greater than 50% chance of three quarter‑point cuts—like some overconfident friend promising a miracle cure. Now, it seems we’re all expecting the Fed to finally get its act together, prompted by the ever-looming shadows of tariffs and recession paranoia. Oh, the drama! 😜
Like a giant whangdoodle let loose in a chocolate factory, his 25% tariffs on Canada and Mexico (and a cheeky 20% for China) have sent the crypto market into an absolutely gloriumptious tizzy! Poor old Solana, bless its digital socks 🧦, has tumbled down, down, down below $100 faster than Augustus Gloop down a chocolate pipe!