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As the shadows of suspicion loom larger, the resolution emerges from the depths of rising concerns over the alleged misuse of cryptocurrency, a modern-day alchemy that turns pixels into power. The lawmakers, those diligent sentinels of virtue, are determined to unearth the full scope of this digital debacle. Will they find a treasure trove of misconduct, or merely a mirage in the desert of speculation? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the committee’s formation is a clear signal of the mounting political pressure and public scrutiny that now surrounds the memecoin’s dubious role and Milei’s potential entanglement. 🕵️‍♂️

As that astute fellow Jeff Parks, over at Bitwise Invest, claimed on the fateful day of April 9, “The chance of Bitcoin outliving the dollar has never felt more real!” Now ain’t that a revelation? 🌪️

Our esteemed Bloomberg ETF analyst, the ever-astute Eric Balchunas, took to the digital ether to declare this debut “very respectable.” Indeed, it seems that in the chaotic circus of the market, XXRP has managed to waltz its way into the top 5% of new ETF launches. Quite the feat, considering the market conditions were about as welcoming as a cat at a dog show! 🐱🐶

Ah, but wait! Like a phoenix—or perhaps a particularly stubborn cockroach—Bitcoin managed to claw its way back to the lofty heights of $79,825, sparking glimmers of hope like the sun peeking through dark clouds. This recovery, a mere 4.1%, does pose the poignant question: can a cryptocurrency really fall 26% and still reside in the realm of speculation and dreams?

Assistant U.S. Attorney Todd Blanche, who moonlights as Trump’s legal knight in shining armor, confirmed the closure in a memo that read like a manifesto for regulatory anarchy. The four-page directive argued that the crypto industry deserves a break from the pesky oversight of the Department of Justice. Because, really, who needs rules when you’ve got blockchain? 🚀