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The past 24 hours? A feverish tryst with $108,000, another lunge, another spurned hope—culminating, perhaps inevitably, in that perennial favorite of analysts everywhere: The Imminent Cataclysm. Pejman_Zwin (who may or may not be the nom de plume of my imaginary cousin, obsessed with candlestick charts) graces us from the TradingView salon, gesturing at a resistance band with greater tension than a librarian in a kindergarten class. There, between $105,330 and $107,120, Bitcoin oscillates, brooding atop a heap of liquidated shorts, the air thick with the scent of approaching panic.

Just last week, Ripple and the SEC dusted off their request for an indicative ruling after Judge Torres gave them a polite “not today” back in May. It’s like asking for a second helping of dessert after being told you’ve had enough—good luck with that!

According to a missive (which I assume arrived by carrier pigeon, but more likely just an email), these two have joined forces: io.net, champion of decentralized clouds, is locking arms with Walrus, a protocol that’s less about bellowing and more about tucking away your precious data as securely as Fort Knox in a blackout. The objective? To construct AI and machine learning playpens that don’t feel like Victorian orphanages run by elderly AWS matrons.

Picture this: The 50-day EMA (which, for normal people, means a wriggly line that traders worship) is about to do a dramatic tango over the 200-day EMA on the Ethereum dancefloor. Some say this means Ethereum is building up the sort of long-term momentum last seen when elephants charge or politicians sense a scandal brewing. Or, perhaps, it just means people will make more memes.

Mishaboar, with all the gravitas of a czar at tax collection time, bemoans the state of crypto lending: