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During this period of widespread economic uncertainty, gold has been consistently outperforming. According to the Bank of America (BoA), gold investment funds are projected to reach approximately $80 billion in net inflows by the end of the year, which is nearly double the amount from 2020. On the other hand, Bitcoin-related exchange-traded funds have seen a decrease in net inflows, with only $165 million invested after a series of outflows, as reported by CoinShares.

Now, let’s talk about this pre-launch phase! It’s like a rollercoaster ride, but instead of screaming, you’ll be cheering as prices go up every two days! That’s right, folks! We’ve got a dynamic pricing strategy that’s more exciting than a squirrel in a dog park! 🐿️💨

The spilled martini details: the Bitwise Core Bitcoin ETP, the Bitwise Physical Bitcoin ETP, the mysterious-sounding Physical Ethereum ETP, and, as if that weren’t enough excitement for one afternoon, the Bitwise Ethereum Staking ETP. This was all revealed in an announcement so recent, the ink is still drying—April 16, to be devastatingly precise.

On a day marked by the arrival of April 16, the heralds of technology announced that the venerable Sui (SUI) had declared the finalization of a grand design—a platform for fundraising, woven with the delicate threads of zero-knowledge proofs, on the blockchain of Sui itself. A marvel of privacy and speed, it promises to elevate the ancient art of stock trading into the digital age, where secrets are kept safe and transactions flow like the Tiber through Rome. 🏛️

This, in turn, has sent the cryptocurrency market plummeting faster than a brick in a bathtub. Bitcoin, bless its digital heart, nosedived from a dizzying $84,000 to a slightly less dizzying $74,000. The altcoins, not wanting to be left out of the fun, followed suit, breaking through crucial support trendlines like they were made of… well, something easily broken. 📉