Our pseudonymous oracle, Dave the Wave, with a following that rivals the most popular of social media influencers, has declared on the platform X that Bitcoin is, in fact, in the early stages of crafting an inverse head-and-shoulders pattern. A pattern so bullish, it could make a bull blush! 🐂
On this fateful day, April 13, the crypto world watched in disbelief as Mantra took a nosedive that would make a rollercoaster ride seem like a gentle stroll in the park. Traders are now scratching their heads and wondering if this is the biggest rug pull since the infamous LUNA/FTX debacle. One particularly concerned investor, Gordon, chimed in with a warning: “The team needs to address this or OM looks like it could head to zero.” Well, Gordon, I think we can all agree that’s a bit of an understatement! 😬
And the open interest? Oh, that’s going up too. Apparently, that means something. 🤔 Some on-chain data voodoo magic says Bitcoin’s gearing up for a run. An “extended upward run.” Like it’s running a marathon or something. Who comes up with these phrases? It’s ridiculous.
Appearing on ABC’s This Week, he hinted that even our glistening semiconductors might be separated into a distinct, illustrious category for forthcoming duties—a maneuver as sardonic and capricious as a mischievous waltz in a Nabokovian fever dream. Tech giants like Apple, whose imports from China once seemed an eternal boon, now face a stage set for another dramatic twist. Oh, the absurdity of it all! 🤡
“BTC, with a delightful 2.5 times the volatility of the S&P 500, experienced a drawdown of 28% compared to the S&P 500’s modest 19%. Now, that is what I call a massive OUTPERFORMANCE!” Coutts wrote, probably while sipping a cup of tea and chuckling at the absurdity of it all. ☕️