With the fervor of a provincial drama critic, Sun declared that $456 million earmarked for a Cayman Islands fund somehow ended up in the hands of a puzzling Dubai-based outfit. One can almost hear him sighing, “Here we expected the desert to only offer sand, but it seems to have a hearty appetite for investments too.”
“I’m calling for an investigation into whether President Trump slipped a cunning wink to his wealthy pals,” Warren proclaimed. “Did he help his cronies rake in the gold through his tariff flip-flopping?” 💰🤔
Currently holding the #98 spot, XCN’s little rally is quite the spectacle, especially given that the global crypto market is currently experiencing a bit of a slump, dipping 2% to a paltry $2.51 trillion. Bitcoin, poor chap, has dropped below $80, and Ethereum is struggling under $1,600. But Onyx? Oh no, Onyx is far too busy defying trends to bother with such trivial matters. 🧐
Now, dear reader, let us not be fooled by the glittering numbers! The firm, in its infinite wisdom, claims to have acquired its Bitcoin at a modest average price of $31,564. This, of course, is a far cry from the dizzying heights of the 2024 average, which soared to a princely $65,901, or the even more extravagant $67,458 that institutional players like Strategy (formerly known as MicroStrategy, but who’s counting?) have paid. Ah, the folly of the rich! 💸
In her proclamation made on the tenth day of April, Miss James raised a clarion call, if I may be so bold, indicating that this laissez-faire attitude towards crypto could leave many a poor soul exposed to the insatiable jaws of fraud and financial shenanigans! 🦈😱