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In an astonishing turn of events, investor sentiment decided to take a vacation, and Bitcoin [BTC] ETFs were left standing at the departure gate, watching $326.3 million exit stage left. According to the melancholy musings of Farside Investors, it was BlackRock’s IBIT that led the march to freedom, shedding a staggering $252.9 million. In a twist of fate deserving of a sitcom, Bitwise’s BITB tripped in right behind with a measly $21.7 million and Ark 21Shares’ ARKB lost a mere $19.9 million. Talk about a dramatic cast of characters! 🎭

Ah, but despite the fiery words intended to bolster the faith of the many, the hapless markets find themselves entangled in despair. The S&P 500 dangles precariously, like a chicken in the jaws of a fox, grappling to ascend from a dismal plunge teetering on the edge of bear-marked territory. Meanwhile, in the hallowed halls of the Treasury, the yields are soaring with a vigor akin to a runaway horse, marking their largest trifecta of rises since the year of two thousand and one—a year we perhaps should remember for far different reasons.

On April 9, the House Financial Services Committee’s subcommittee on Digital Assets, Financial Technology, and Artificial Intelligence held another of its “let’s pretend we know what we’re doing” hearings about crypto regulation. Their aim? To make sure the laws of the land are more than just a vague suggestion when it comes to digital assets. Basically, they want to align 20th-century securities laws with the digital age, which is basically like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole but with a lot more zeros and ones involved.

Yet, in a twist that surprises no one, China finds itself conspicuously absent from this tariff truce. President Trump, with the flourish of a man who has just discovered a new favorite word, has raised tariffs on Chinese imports to a staggering 125%. The reason? China’s alleged “lack of respect” for global markets. Beijing, not one to take such slights lying down, has retaliated with the swiftness of a caffeinated bureaucrat, further inflaming the already tense trade relations between these two economic behemoths. ​

On a whimsical Wednesday, President Donald Trump, that unpredictable jester of the political realm, decided to “authorize” a delightful little jig of “substantially lowered” tariffs that rippled across the globe, igniting Bitcoin and stocks into a frenzied pirouette back to life. From the digital amphitheater known as Truth Social, Trump grandiosely proclaimed that a veritable … Read more