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On April 9, the House Financial Services Committee’s subcommittee on Digital Assets, Financial Technology, and Artificial Intelligence held another of its “let’s pretend we know what we’re doing” hearings about crypto regulation. Their aim? To make sure the laws of the land are more than just a vague suggestion when it comes to digital assets. Basically, they want to align 20th-century securities laws with the digital age, which is basically like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole but with a lot more zeros and ones involved.

Yet, in a twist that surprises no one, China finds itself conspicuously absent from this tariff truce. President Trump, with the flourish of a man who has just discovered a new favorite word, has raised tariffs on Chinese imports to a staggering 125%. The reason? China’s alleged “lack of respect” for global markets. Beijing, not one to take such slights lying down, has retaliated with the swiftness of a caffeinated bureaucrat, further inflaming the already tense trade relations between these two economic behemoths. ​

On a whimsical Wednesday, President Donald Trump, that unpredictable jester of the political realm, decided to “authorize” a delightful little jig of “substantially lowered” tariffs that rippled across the globe, igniting Bitcoin and stocks into a frenzied pirouette back to life. From the digital amphitheater known as Truth Social, Trump grandiosely proclaimed that a veritable … Read more

Before the U.S. futures could throw themselves into a tizzy, they found comfort in this bit of news, narrowly escaping a bang-up crash reminiscent of the infamous “Black Monday” of yore! There was a moment when Nasdaq futures looked as sad as a puppy left out in the rain, plummeting nearly 7%, as reported by those sharp-eyed seers at The Kobeissi Letter. Yet, in a splendid plot twist, the S&P 500 opened with a flurry, despite a bear market lurking about like a grumpy old troll, down over 20% from its February peak—something it hasn’t done since 2022. As they say, sometimes you just have to march bravely into the woods, even if there are trolls!

Investors were practically throwing confetti over the recent good news, expecting a price party. But alas, market analyst Vincent Van Code says it’s not XRP’s fault. Apparently, it’s just the economy being a drama queen. 🙄