According to a report from the ever-reliable Reuters on this fine April 9, China’s central bank has instructed its state-owned lenders to “reduce dollar purchases.” It seems the yuan is feeling a bit under the weather, and large banks have been told to scrutinize dollar purchase orders like a hawk eyeing its prey. Speculative trades, beware! 🦅
Meanwhile, our old friends Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), and XRP are also climbing the social ladder, buoyed by a fresh wave of bullish enthusiasm and, of all things, Trump’s 90-day tariff pause. It seems the synchronized rally is a reflection of rising investor confidence and an insatiable appetite for risk—how very daring! 🎩
According to a research report by Block Scholes (who presumably had some cosmic insight), Bybit found itself scraping around with only 4% market share after the hack. Then, much like Arthur Dent stumbling upon a nice cup of tea, Bybit’s share magically floated back to 7%. Trading volumes and order book depth seemed about as stable as a hyper-intelligent shade of the color blue, which is to say: surprisingly stable.
Listen closely, ladies and gentlemen: the experts are in the house! They’ve spotted a bullish double-bottom pattern on Pepe’s chart! And no, it’s not a fancy new dance move! Just look—this meme coin has broken out of a descending trendline like a magician escaping from a water tank! ✨🎩
In an astonishing turn of events, investor sentiment decided to take a vacation, and Bitcoin [BTC] ETFs were left standing at the departure gate, watching $326.3 million exit stage left. According to the melancholy musings of Farside Investors, it was BlackRock’s IBIT that led the march to freedom, shedding a staggering $252.9 million. In a twist of fate deserving of a sitcom, Bitwise’s BITB tripped in right behind with a measly $21.7 million and Ark 21Shares’ ARKB lost a mere $19.9 million. Talk about a dramatic cast of characters! ðŸŽ