“Dear Remy”: Hollywood Life Coach Helps a Producer Say No and a Casting Agent Say Less

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I’m Thinking of Turning Down the Biggest Movie of My Career. Am I Nuts?

Dear Rémy,

I’m currently a movie producer, a role many aspire to attain. This year alone, I’ve produced three box office hits. Recently, there was an article about me in a trade magazine, portraying me as an “It Producer”. However, I’m not entirely pleased with the photograph they chose, as it made me look like I was dressed by Edward Scissorhands. Now, I have a lucrative opportunity to revive a popular franchise.

At first glance, it seems like an easy choice: famous talent, massive earnings at the box office. Yet, in reality, I can’t help but feel as though I’ve compromised my principles. It’s akin to serving stale leftovers, giving them a fresh coat of paint and a fancy label, then asking $20 for the privilege. If you want the limited edition blueberry-flavored slushie, that’ll be an additional $35.

(This version maintains the original’s tone while making it easier to understand by using more common expressions and simplifying some of the metaphors.)

I shudder at the thought of rejecting it, as it might label me as an arrogant figure who considers myself too elevated to work on a remake – similar to Regina George’s haughty demeanor, despite her fabulous hair. I’ve always disliked the notion that others could be whispering about me behind my back – from the high school gossip regarding an alleged nose job, even though such procedures were forbidden for minors in our state.

Am I hindering myself by refusing an opportunity with assured success, or is it more valuable to gamble on a project that ignites my passion and potentially jeopardize my career?

Yours,

Trapped in the Fast Lane

Dear Trapped in the Fast Lane,

When thinking about accepting this project, do you get a sense of enthusiasm or fulfillment, or is it more like apprehension or unease?

As a gamer, I often find myself pondering: Isn’t it intriguing if the path isn’t just success versus failure, but rather two distinct types of bravery? The courage to press on, even when the grind seems dull—or the courage to halt, to withdraw, and reflect on what kind of game developer I aspire to be.

Hollywood often celebrates those who are always on the move. However, have you taken a moment recently to consider where this endless running is taking you? What if you chose to pause, not out of defiance, but because you sense there’s something more substantial waiting for you? After you’ve identified that, allow me to propose a slower, perhaps more deliberate journey, or at least one with scheduled rest stops.

It’s intriguing that you bring up high school in your letter. Thankfully, the world beyond high school isn’t like that – it wouldn’t make sense for us to still be electing a Prom queen and king annually. Such traditions aren’t necessary – just as worrying about what others think isn’t either. Those are merely distractions that could hinder you from achieving your genuine aspirations.

It’s cool you mentioned high school in your letter. Thankfully, life after high school isn’t like that – it wouldn’t be right to continue electing a Prom queen and king each year. Such traditions aren’t essential – and neither is worrying about what others think. Those are just distractions that might keep you from reaching your real goals.

If you make it big in Hollywood after passing away, your name might be remembered. However, the question to consider is whether you’ll feel content with what your name represents.

Wishing you a gilded future—whether reboots are in the picture, or not.

Yours,

Rémy

Help! I Landed My Breakout Role — And Then It Got Recast

Dear Rémy,

In the previous year, I secured an ideal part – an independent drama that primarily featured me as the main character. My representative referred to it as “Oscar-esque,” which was tantalizingly close for me to begin rehearsing my red carpet stance (one foot slightly advanced for a sense of energy, one hand casually tucked away to exude nonchalance, and chin slightly tilted upwards to minimize any suggestion of a double chin).

I immersed myself fully in the role, forgoing luxuries like coffee, expensive food, and fancy shower products as my character wasn’t financially able to indulge in them. My director found my dedication to method acting truly inspiring, although he subtly hinted that I should take a shower more often.

About two weeks prior to filming, I received an email stating that there would be a recast because of creative disagreements. In hindsight, I interpret it as: my lack of fame isn’t sufficient to market this project effectively.

Now every time I see the trailer, it feels like watching my ex with the guy she cheated on me with—except he’s wearing my clothes, delivering my lines, and getting glowing reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. How do I stop obsessing over a movie that was supposed to be mine? And how do I stop myself from tearing down every poster I see and violently turning it into rude origami shapes?

Yours,

Disgracefully Replaced

Dear Disgracefully Replaced,

When we find ourselves without something we’ve invested time and effort into, it can be tempting to craft a tale in which we are the one who fell short. However, let me share a truth about narratives: usually, they are fabrications. Just ask any author you come across.

Perhaps this role wasn’t just a single chance but a learning experience meant to teach you something you couldn’t grasp any other way. What did this part reveal about your abilities – your talent, depth, and capacity to connect with characters? How can you apply these insights to your next opportunity? You demonstrated your commitment – even if it meant neglecting personal hygiene – which is worth celebrating, regardless of whether you may have offended the director’s senses.

Could you believe that your finest achievements are yet to come – they’re just waiting for the improved version of you, once you learn to let go of this current phase? And when the time comes, you’ll be ready – completely equipped, even with a confident demeanor suitable for any grand occasion.

It wasn’t a waste—but an investment.

Yours,

Rémy

It Costs Nothing to Be Nice? I’m Not Sure I Can Afford It.

Dear Rémy,

Instead of others making resolutions like reducing sugar intake or deleting old Instagram accounts for stalking exes, my resolution this year is to stop behaving as the office antagonist.

As a casting director, I’ve been known for my straightforwardness, but it seems like my bluntness has crossed the line into harshness. In the past year, I’ve made comments that may have come off as unnecessarily hurtful, such as telling one actor they had the charm of a celery stick and questioning another about their parents’ feelings towards their career choices.

It appears that my coworkers have taken notice of me – in a Zoom meeting, I overheard them referring to me as the “Simon Cowell of Callbacks.” To make matters worse, I discovered there’s an office Slack channel dedicated to ranking my most critical comments. The top-rated comment so far is when I told someone they seemed like a broken AI bot trying to pass as human.

As a gamer, I’ve been feeling like I need a change – I want to be more compassionate and friendly, but my current image is that of a bit of a bully or “villain.” It seems like an impossible task to transform my reputation in real life, right? Is there any chance for me to have a redemption arc, just like in video games? Can I rebuild myself as a nicer person and make others see the change?

Yours,

Wicked Witch of the Casting Couch

Dear Wicked Witch of the Casting Couch,

Every remarkable transformation journey begins with this common query: What kind of person do you aspire to become, and why is it significant for you at this moment in time?

Imagine if your reputation wasn’t set in stone but something you could continuously reshape, decision by decision. What would it mean to support performers, even when they may not be perfect for a part? How differently might your casting room feel if you approached each encounter with curiosity rather than criticism?

Hollywood is a place that encourages transformation, yet genuine evolution goes beyond physical changes; it’s all about having the right intentions. Which narrative do you wish to convey about yourself, and what steps can you take to embody that story starting from today?

What if you casually mentioned your goal to your coworkers, not with fanfare but as a sincere admission of your efforts to bring change? By involving them in your progress, you could discover unforeseen supporters and perhaps alter their perception of you.

A redemption arc isn’t about wiping out the past; rather, it’s about building on past experiences to foster development and change. Every encounter, every decision, offers a chance to reshape the storyline.

Instead of erasing mistakes, a redemption arc helps us learn from them and make positive changes in our journey. Each experience can help rewrite our life story for the better.

In the upcoming chapter of your life, who will you choose to become? While Hollywood often embraces transformation, it’s ultimately up to you to write the type of narrative you wish to tell.

Wishing you luck on your arc,

Rémy

***

Remy Blumenfeld, a seasoned television producer and the creator of Vitality Guru, provides professional guidance for successful individuals in the media industry through his business and career consulting services. To get in touch with him, please email [guru@vitality.guru](mailto:guru@vitality.guru).

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

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2025-01-05 21:25