John Oliver Wants to Believe the J.D. Vance Sofa Rumor: “I’ve Never Seen Someone With More Couch-F***er Energy”

As a devoted fan of John Oliver and his show “Last Week Tonight,” I couldn’t help but be entertained by his recent segment on the 2024 presidential race and the baseless rumor surrounding J.D. Vance’s alleged encounter with a couch.

John Oliver discussed the 2024 presidential race during the initial part of Last Week Tonight, devoting a significant portion to debunking the unfounded rumor that J.D. Vance engaged in a sexual encounter with a couch.

You might assume that Oliver isn’t a fan of Donald Trump’s Republican vice presidential pick.

As a big fan, I’ve got to admit, J.D. Vance’s reputation has taken quite a hit recently. There was even a hilarious joke circulating online this week that he was the first Vice Presidential pick to confess in a bestselling memoir, “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis,” to an unusual indiscretion. Allegedly, he admitted to exploring an unconventional method involving a latex glove and some couch cushions! Can you believe it? I guess the page number for this revelation is somewhere in his book, if you’re curious enough to look it up.

While that is not actually true, Oliver opined that he could believe it might have happened.

“He mentioned that the reason this idea spread so rapidly might be because, firstly, not many people had read the related book. Secondly, it was highly plausible, as if asked to draw a man who allegedly engages in such an unusual behavior, most would depict Vance’s likeness.” He continued, displaying a photo of Vance, “Moreover, in a game of Two Truths and a Lie, my intuition would always point towards the truth being that this man has an unconventional relationship with furniture.”

Oliver went on to say: “He seems to have modeled his appearance after Tom Cruise from the interview with Oprah, leaving me wondering if his first celebrity crush was actually a plastic sofa from ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’. If you told me that J.D. Vance is the one who leaves coins between couch cushions, I’d find that explanation entirely plausible.”

The host of “Last Week Tonight” pointed out that the rumor spread globally, reaching Norway where a media outlet titled their article “Hadn’t Had Sex with the Couch.” He jokingly commented, “Seems like they should have put up a warning sign at IKEA after J.D.’s visit.”

Oliver mentioned the now-deleted Associated Press fact-check article about J.D. Vance not having sex with a couch. Originally published with the headline, “No, J.D. Vance did not have sex with a couch,” the piece was later removed from AP’s website, leaving only a “page unavailable” message. The explanation provided to web visitors stated that the article hadn’t undergone the Associated Press’ usual editing procedure.

“Oliver pointed out that the initial headline was unlikely due to clear issues with it. Our program values truth and accurate language. So while we can confirm J.D. Vance didn’t mention having sex with a couch in his book, we cannot definitively claim he never did so. He has not explicitly denied this allegation.”

Last week, Oliver’s team directly contacted Vance’s campaign and inquired bluntly if there were any instances of him having sexual encounters with sofas.

He questioned, “They really did not answer our call, didn’t they, instead of simply saying ‘no’?”

Follow-up texts and emails have also been left unanswered.

“However, with the rapid developments in the news recently – the RNC took place just last week and Trump’s shooting incident happened only two weeks ago – there are numerous uncertainties leading up to November. We haven’t even learned who Kamala Harris will choose as her running mate yet. The race is unpredictable, with both candidates vying for momentum. Given the current situation, I can only assume that J.D. Vance was involved in a scandal involving a couch until further notice.”

2024-07-29 07:50

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