Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is getting a Barber Mode and by golly, I hope I can actually be a barber

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As a gamer, I’m excitedly awaiting the major update for Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 on March 13th! Developers Warhorse have teased us with news about this patch, promising a host of improvements and modding tools. They’ve been vague about one feature though – Barber Mode. From the promotional image they’ve shared, it seems like Henry will just get new beard styles and haircuts. But here’s hoping that in reality, I’ll get to experience something more immersive – perhaps even taking on the role of a barber myself, trimming and styling the abundant beards and hairstyles of 15th century Bohemia!

Without realizing it until now, as I compose this piece, I’ve come to desire a game where you portray a traveling barber, setting off each day from my salon to trim the beards of the realm’s nobles. In this game, I, Quiff Sideburn, Texturizer At Law, would meticulously arrange various sizes of scissors in my rolling velvet barbering kit. The decisions I make about haircuts could influence international politics. This game involves me crafting my own beard oil from juniper berries and mole carcasses. It also includes the recruitment of up to three side characters, forming a quartet for the barbershop, only to eventually slay them all because Quiff Sideburn is actually Sweeney Todd in disguise.

Taking a cursory look at Steam suggests the existence of a somewhat ambiguous category known as the “Barber Simulation Genre”. In this genre, we find upcoming titles like Barber Party from Second Wind, which is similar to Overcooked but focuses on trimming necklines instead of cooking pasta. For those who enjoy virtual reality, there’s Bizarre Barber, where you’re a hallucinating hairdresser on a train platform, surrounded by magical fish. Lastly, we have The Midnight Barber, a visual novel that involves styling werewolves while also exploring political revolution in Barcelona, and it caters to the ASMR audience. However, this genre remains rather obscure, with many search results leading to games about BBQs, barbarians, or individuals named Barbara.

In Deliverance 2, it seems quite fitting to incorporate barbering as another skill your character can master. The game already offers a variety of medieval professions, such as brewing, cooking, tanning, and smithing. Given Henry’s blacksmith abilities, I believe he could easily transform Hans Capon’s hair into a Pompadour – although this hairstyle originated in 18th-century France, making it anachronistic within the game’s medieval setting. As someone well-versed in all things hair, I hope my research isn’t wasted, Warhorse. Please don’t disappoint me when Deliverance 2 launches on March 13th.

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2025-03-06 20:31