Oof! Bitcoin Bites Back 🤕

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Ah, Strategy, once known as Microstrategy, that grand purveyor of enterprise software, has revealed a most grievous sum of
$5.91 billion 💸 in unrealized losses, all thanks to their dalliance with bitcoin. ‘Tis a new accounting rule that forces such honesty, marking crypto assets to market, as they say. A harsh mistress, indeed!

A Quarter’s Regret: Strategy’s Loss

Strategy, freshly rebranded like a worn coat, disclosed a report
of a $5.91 billion non-cash loss, a mere trifle, tied to their bitcoin ( BTC) treasury. The SEC filing sings a mournful tune of cryptocurrency market volatility and the dreaded Accounting Standards Update (ASU) 2023-08, which demands quarterly fair-value adjustments. One shudders to think!

The company, in its infinite wisdom, held 528,185 bitcoin as of March 31, acquired at an average price of $67,458 per coin, amounting to a total of $35.63 billion. Bitcoin’s price danced wildly from $76,600 to $109,358 during the quarter, before settling at $82,444.71. Under the old ways, Strategy only acknowledged the downward spirals. Now, alas, they must confess to both gains and losses. The indignity! 🎭

A $1.69 billion tax benefit, a small mercy, partially cushioned the blow, arising from deferred tax adjustments linked to the value’s descent. The firm insists its bitcoin ( BTC) strategy remains unwavering. They even acquired 80,715 more coins in Q1, financed by stock offerings and convertible debt sales. Such commitment! Or is it folly? 🤔

Strategy’s filing concedes that their bitcoin holdings could face further torments, thanks to regulatory whims, technological caprices, and market storms. They possess a notable 2.52% of bitcoin’s 21 million supply, making them the foremost corporate holder. A king among paupers, perhaps? 👑

Shares of Strategy (Nasdaq: MSTR) have swayed between $102 and $473 in the past year. The report reminds us that the esteemed independent auditor KPMG has not deigned to review the disclosed financial data. Executives will soon convene an earnings call to explain these curious results. One anticipates much throat-clearing! 🗣️

This loss highlights the perilous nature of Strategy’s bitcoin-centric treasury strategy, championed by CEO Michael Saylor since 2020 as an inflation hedge. Competitors and investors continue their debate on the sanity of corporate crypto reserves amidst this unrelenting market turbulence. The drama! 🎬

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2025-04-07 22:00