As a fan who’s grown up watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe unfold, I must admit that Tony Stark‘s wit and humor have always been some of my favorite aspects of his character. His quick comebacks and sharp one-liners not only make for entertaining moments in the films but also showcase his intellect and charisma.
Watching the Marvel movies sequentially, whether on DVD/Blu-ray or through Disney+, it’s hard not to notice one standout characteristic about Tony Stark: his knack for humor. Granted, there are many profound aspects to this universe, but Robert Downey Jr. certainly had a field day delivering some of the MCU’s funniest lines as he breathed life into the Iron Man character. Here are 32 of the funniest ones you won’t want to miss!
“I don’t want to see this on your MySpace page. Please no gang signs. No, throw it up, I’m kidding”
In a lighter moment at the start of the film “Iron Man“, Tony Stark playfully responded to a soldier who asked for a photo with him after the soldier displayed the peace symbol, just before their convoy was ambushed and Stark was captured by terrorists.
“That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn’t notice. But we did.”
During the events of The Avengers, while on the Helicarrier and conversing with Nick Fury along with many other main characters, Tony Stark criticizes a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for indulging in a retro video game instead of working. Later on, it is revealed that Tony’s statement was factual and not merely one of his witty remarks.
“I loved you in A Christmas Story, by the way.”
The initial discussion between Tony Stark and James Rhodes in the restaurant at the start of Iron Man 3 is generally quite serious, as they delve into details about the attacks on America and Stark experiences a panic attack. However, for a fleeting instant, they share a light-hearted moment when Stark compares a young boy asking for an autograph with his sister to the character Ralphie from the 1983 Christmas film classic.
“That’s not a hug, I’m just grabbing the door for you.”
In the movie “Captain America: Civil War”, it was Tony Stark who brought Peter Parker onto his team, but their relationship wasn’t instantly warm. Although Tony graciously allowed Peter to keep his advanced Spider-Man suit, they weren’t exchanging hugs just yet. This was clearly shown in the early scenes of “Spider-Man: Homecoming” when Tony made this comment to Peter in his car.
“Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear.”
During the early stages of Avengers: Endgame, Captain Marvel discovered Tony Stark and Nebula who were close to death. Consequently, the initial phase of his recovery on Earth wouldn’t typically be a humorous setting. Nevertheless, a comedic moment occurred when Tony showed an amused reaction upon hearing Rocket speak for the first time.
“That means get lost, Squidward!”
In the movie “Avengers: Infinity War”, when Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian arrived on Earth to take the Time Stone from Doctor Strange in New York City, the Master of the Mystic Arts warned them they were intruding on both New York City and Earth. Tony Stark humorously compared Maw to the character SpongeBob Squarepants, pointing out a certain resemblance.
“I’m not a joiner, but I’ll consider Secretary of Defense if you ask nice.”
After Rhodey was forced to read a particular part from his report criticizing Tony Stark and the Iron Man armor during the congressional hearing in “Iron Man 2”, he attempted to mitigate the damage by emphasizing the advantages of the armor exceeded its drawbacks, proposing that Tony might be integrated into the current command structure. This comment prompted Tony’s clever retort about his desired cabinet position.
“Manchurian Candidate, you’re killing me. We’re on a truce. Put the gun down.”
When Bucky Barnes aimed his rifle at Tony, expressing surprise that he’d been traced to the HYDRA Siberian facility alongside Steve Rogers by their Sokovian Accords adversary, this was the comment Tony made: It’s unfortunate that the peace didn’t endure, as Tony discovered upon learning that Winter Soldier had murdered his parents.
“Drop your socks and grab your crocs, we’re about to get wet on this ride.”
Despite Tony’s unconventional utterance, happening amidst a chaotic scenario where he was dodging Justin Hammer’s drones and Rhodey in War Machine armor (both taken over by Ivan Vanko) while soaring through the Stark Expo fountain to escape gunfire, it was an unexpected statement. Ironically, this very unpredictability made it even more amusing.
“Wait a second. Is no one going to comment that Cap just said ‘Language’?”
In the opening scenes of “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, as Earth’s strongest champions clashed with Baron Strucker’s HYDRA cell, I, Tony Stark, accidentally struck an invisible shield protecting the terrorists’ base, causing me to let out a swear word. The ever-respectable Steve Rogers, a man from the 1940s, found my language choice less than appealing. In typical 2010s fashion, I couldn’t resist giving him a bit of good-natured ribbing for his old-fashioned sensibilities.
“Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”
I’d like to commend Bruce Banner on not only his exceptional scientific achievements, but also his remarkable ability to transform into The Hulk. In essence, that’s much what Tony Stark expressed, albeit with a bit more finesse given the context. I believe it was delivered in a way that didn’t seem too jarring for Bruce.
“Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.”
In the initial film, Pepper Potts uncovered that Tony Stark was Iron Man after she chanced upon one of his devices awkwardly stripping off his armor post-mission in Gulmira. Though he attempted humorously to lighten the mood with a double entendre, it didn’t quite land.
“Wong, you’re invited to my wedding.”
Tony Stark and Wong had only recently crossed paths when they were compelled to work together against Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian, alongside Doctor Strange and Spider-Man. However, Wong proved himself as a reliable ally, demonstrating this by quickly sending Obsidian through a portal before he could strike, which impressed Tony so much that he invited him to his upcoming wedding.
“… Which happens, dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it.”
It might seem surprising, given the situation, that Tony appeared uncaring when a child shared that his father had left the family six years prior. This is particularly unexpected since Harley was letting him hide in his shed during a time of need. However, true to form, he dismisses this heartfelt revelation and instead asks for items to repair his armor.
“If you douse me again, and I’m not on fire, I’m donating you to a city college.”
During the Iron Man films, there were a couple of arm robots called Dum-E and Dum-U that worked in his workshop. However, they weren’t particularly intelligent machines. In fact, Dum-E seemed to have a bit of a fire exuberance – he accidentally discharged the fire extinguisher while Tony Stark was testing his Mark II armor, which led to a somewhat irate response from Stark.
“Mr. Stark displays textbook… narcissism… Agreed.”
In the conclusion of Iron Man 2, Tony Stark appeared triumphant. However, the incidents in the movie prompted Nick Fury to believe that although the Iron Man suit deserved inclusion in the Avengers Initiative, Tony himself did not fit the bill. His arrogance was a significant factor in this decision, yet Tony displayed enough self-awareness to acknowledge that this evaluation held some truth.
“Uh, Shakespeare in the park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
In “The Avengers,” I initially clashed with Thor when we encountered each other, as I found myself handing Loki over to him instead of the other way around – and it was Captain America who did the honors first! When I eventually managed to regain my footing and retaliated against Thor, he sternly warned me that I didn’t know what I was up against. This prompted Iron Man to quip about something Shakespearean being afoot, which had us all laughing.
“Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”
Initially, Tony was elated to have Bruce back in “Avengers: Infinity War,” but he soon grew annoyed when his teammate didn’t transform into The Hulk as required during the encounter with Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian. The Green Giant remained dormant for the remainder of that movie, and by “Avengers: Endgame,” Bruce combined his two personas to form Smart Hulk.
“Oh, you would love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic.”
Following Thanos’ use of the Infinity Stones at the end of Infinity War, only Tony and Nebula remained among the heroes on Titan. They made repairs to the Guardians of the Galaxy’s spaceship as well as they could and set off for Earth. While en route, Tony recorded a message for Pepper Potts and described Nebula much as she appeared.
“Yeah, I’d say most countries 5, 10 years away, Hammer Industries, 20.”
During the events of “Iron Man 2”, the U.S. government expressed worry that other nations might duplicate the Iron Man armor for their own intentions. To alleviate these concerns, particularly regarding Justin Hammer, Tony Stark took control of the screens during a Congressional hearing to demonstrate that there was no cause for alarm.
“Actually, he’s the boss. I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.”
In the movie “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, when Maria Hill addressed Tony as “the boss”, he swiftly corrected her, clarifying that Captain America was, in fact, the commander of the superhero squad. His words hinted at a slight undercurrent of resentment or jealousy towards his role compared to Cap’s.
“What are you doing? You gonna break his finger? He’s in pain. He’s been injured. Leave him alone.”
Upon reaching Harley Keener’s house shed, Tony Stark found his armor damaged from the attack on his mansion and the ensuing turbulent flight to Tennessee. Consequently, he felt somewhat irritated when the boy broke off one of the fingers, but quickly brushed it aside, promising to repair the damage instead.
“You! I swear to God, I’ll dismantle you! I’ll soak your motherboard, turn you into a wine rack!”
In the beginning of Iron Man 2, the robotic arm caused trouble for Tony Stark yet again. Upon returning to his workshop, the arm accidentally knocked over a blender, prompting Tony to tell it to shape up – or face his wrath!
“Well, performance issues, it’s not uncommon. One out of five…”
In the movie “The Avengers“, Loki, without hesitation, used his scepter (later discovered to hold the Mind Stone) to manipulate people’s minds. However, when he attempted the same on Tony Stark, his arc reactor successfully blocked this attempt. Confused by this turn of events, Loki inquired, and Tony Stark was quick-witted enough to retort with a clever remark.
“Go to bed, or I’ll sell all your toys.”
As a die-hard fan, I’d put it this way: In Avengers: Endgame, even though Tony Stark had to be mindful of his language and jokes around his daughter Morgan, he never lost his knack for humor. For instance, after they shared juice pops, he playfully warned her not to go back to bed if she didn’t like them!
“You screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing. Took the dog to the free clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies… All right, not my best analogy.”
Following his triumph over The Vulture in the movie “Homecoming”, Peter Parker was taken to the Avengers Facility, where Tony Stark applauded him for his win. However, the comparison Tony attempted to make to highlight Peter’s growth since his earlier disappointments fell flat and didn’t resonate effectively.
“I will be re-instituting prima nocta.”
Age of Ultron,” he wasn’t strong enough to lift Thor’s hammer. The comment he made about reinstating an outdated and distasteful custom if he were to rule Asgard, even though it was supposedly a joke, might have contributed to this.
“What is your job, exactly, besides making balloon animals?”
In the movie “Infinity War”, it wasn’t long before Tony Stark and Stephen Strange began clashing over ideas, such as when Stark suggested throwing the Time Stone into a waste disposal. This disagreement eventually led to Stark asking a question, to which Strange retorted, “Mind your own reality, jerk.
“You really have got a lid on it, haven’t you? What’s your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?”
Intrigued by Bruce Banner’s capacity to suppress his Hulk transformation, which was quite different from how he acted in The Incredible Hulk, Tony Stark decided to test him. He even used a small electric shock device on Bruce, but it didn’t work. Later, in The Avengers, this is what Tony said.
“Ok, Mr. Clean is on his own page.”
In this scene, Tony naturally felt irritated as Drax appeared to be yawning during Tony’s explanation of their strategy for defeating Thanos. When he confronted Drax about it, the Guardian seemed to lose interest once Tony mentioned they needed a plan. The most amusing part of the interaction was Tony’s exasperated facial expression when Mantis commented that the Guardians “are known for kicking names and taking no prisoners.
“Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.”
Ellen Brandt, one of Aldrich Killian’s followers who had been enhanced with Extremis, pursued Tony Stark in Tennessee while his armor was out of service, forcing him to think creatively to defend himself. When he joked about dating women more attractive than her, she retorted, “Is that the best you can do? A worn-out joke and a cringe-worthy one-liner?” Here’s how Tony Stark replied.
“Underoos!”
In a single, humorous utterance, Tony bellowed out this introduction for Spider-Man during the commotion at Leipzig airport in “Captain America: Civil War.” Unfazed by the funny label, Peter managed to create an impressive first impression as he swiped Captain America’s shield with his webbing.
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2024-09-29 22:37