Summary
- Over-the-top acting, strange edits, and a thin plot make
The Clean Up Crew
a ludicrous comedy wannabe. - The usually wonderful Antonio Banderas channels Machiavelli in a cringeworthy performance as crime boss.
- The good cast seems to have fun, and there are a couple chuckles, but a weak script, confusing editing, and unoriginal action scenes make the film a forgettable mess.
As a seasoned movie critic with over three decades of experience under my belt, I must say that watching “The Clean Up Crew” was like being trapped in a never-ending game of whack-a-mole with plot holes instead of pesky rodents. The storyline is as convoluted as a plate of spaghetti left unattended for too long, and the characters are more predictable than a broken clock.
As a movie enthusiast, I must admit that “The Clean Up Crew” left me scratching my head more often than laughing. The storyline, which revolves around a motley crew of crime scene cleaners, bungling thieves, and corrupt cops, feels stretched and labored. It’s as if the writers were trying too hard to keep me entertained, but unfortunately, it never quite found its footing.
A Crime Scene Clean Up Crew Keeps the Cash
1. Gabriel Barrett, a notoriously ruthless Spanish gangster, has been running the underworld since his arrival in Ireland three years back, and some locals are fed up with his rule. Danny and Jack, two hapless individuals, have had enough of working for scraps under Barrett. Instead of delivering the bribe money to their corrupt Special Crimes Agency Officer as usual, they decide to keep it. Unfortunately, things don’t go according to plan during this transaction. The police investigate the mess but can’t locate the stolen cash. It’s time to call in the Good Life Cleaners to clean up the grisly crime scene.
As a passionate film enthusiast, I found myself immersed in a captivating tale where Siobhan, portrayed by Melissa Leo, calls upon the tumultuous duo Alex (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and Meaghan (Ekaterina Baker). The mornings were never ordinary for this quarreling pair, especially for Meaghan, who’s been longing to take the plunge into matrimony. Her aspiration? A funeral home of her own – a dream that Alex seems indifferent towards. Adding fuel to the fire is Charlie (Swen Temmel), a menacing drug addict with a fiery disposition, whom Siobhan keeps under close supervision due to his volatile nature. This trio, clad in red hazmat suits for their grim tasks, stumbled upon an unexpected surprise lodged within the chimney.
Antonio Banderas Is No Machiavelli
From the outset, the movie’s tone is clearly playful due to Antonio Banderas’ exaggerated performance. His slick black hair, curled mustache, and Machiavellian obsession are excessively dramatic. Gabriel brandishes his gun dramatically, much like a conductor, yet fails to project an air of menace. The comedic elements escalate when his bumbling henchmen mock him while also showing fear. These aren’t intimidating assassins intended to be taken seriously; instead, they are more akin to jesters in a circus.
As a long-time fan of gripping dramas, I must admit that “The Good Life Cleaners” has a unique and somewhat whimsical dynamic that sets it apart from other shows I’ve watched. The characters in this series, with their distinct personalities and complex relationships, are reminiscent of the intricate tapestry of lives I’ve encountered during my years as a bartender in Dublin.
1. Alex and Meaghan consider their questionable winnings similar to a lucky lottery ticket. Siobhan suspects that whoever lost the court case will inevitably seek it out, potentially endangering everyone. It’s hard to believe they aren’t the main suspects. In an unusual instance of good judgment, Charlie aligns with Alex and Meaghan, eager for the money and ready to defend it.
Ridiculous People in Boring Places
Screenwriter Matthew Rogers (known for “The Survivalist” and “Code Name Banshee”) leaves no room for guessing the storyline. Characters such as the hapless cleaners, Gabriel’s dim-witted associates, and law enforcement officials seem to collide inexplicably, akin to ping-pong balls in nonsensical scenes. In a twist that leaves one scratching their head, Charlie appears to be an unstoppable assassin with a murky past. Armed to the brim, it’s no surprise when the scenario unfolds as expected, taking a turn for the worse. Remarkably, Charlie can find himself encircled by ruthless gunmen, yet miraculously dodge every bullet while effortlessly eliminating them all without perspiring or reloading.
In the meantime, Alex isn’t an unrestrained psychopath; instead, he grapples with a moral quandary regarding slaughtering villains. The banter between Alex and Charlie amidst the chaos is intended to be humorous, but it falls flat. Is it supposed to be amusing that they seem invincible while everyone else is torn apart like Swiss cheese?
As a devoted admirer of Jon Keyes, the visionary behind iconic films like “American Nightmare”, I must express my thoughts on his unique editing approach in his latest VOD actioners starring Rogers and Banderas. The frequent use of split-screen seems to be an effort to set this film apart (or perhaps a subtle nod to Ritchie), but it falls short when the action is confined to only a handful of settings.
Someone Needed to Clean Up This Script
The Clean Up Team reaches for straws and ultimately falls short. Despite a good cast, they are hindered by forced dialogue, a flimsy storyline, and uninspiring action sequences. Pacing problems arise as the movie strains to fill its brief 90-minute runtime. While fans of Machiavelli’s The Prince might find some amusement in Banderas’ repetitive emphasis, the joke quickly loses steam for most viewers. Just like that character, the film is not as intelligent as it believes itself to be.
The “Clean Up Crew” is a collaboration between Yale Productions, LB Entertainment, Highland Myst Entertainment, and others. Starting August 20th, it will be available for digital rental or purchase from Saban Films and Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. You can find it on popular platforms like Apple TV, Google Play, Fandango Now, and Prime Video via the link provided below: [Link]
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2024-08-22 05:31