We Don’t Care What Critics Say, Waterworld Was Rad as Heck

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As a child of the 90s, I vividly recall the excitement that surrounded the release of Waterworld back in 1995. The hype, the anticipation, and ultimately, the disappointment that followed. However, revisiting this cinematic gem recently has completely changed my perspective.

On July 28, 1995, Kevin Costner’s post-apocalyptic underwater film “Waterworld” premiered in theaters across various locations. Regrettably, it didn’t create the wave of success that Universal had anticipated. Despite its financially disappointing outcome, which has become a well-known tale in Hollywood, this waterlogged movie now offers everything one would expect from a chaotic, post-society saga — from concept to production to conclusion.

With Waterworld currently streaming on Peacock, we figured it might be a good time to go back and watch, without any lingering expectations. Upon my recent rewatch, I found Waterworld was fun as a water park on a hot sunny day (remember those?), and more prescient than ever. Costner’s supposed folly puts a glistening shine on Mad Max’s end-of-times inanity, while delivering something truly unique, which is evermore watchable now than you may remember.

Sure thing!

Experiencing this film includes both fun and deeper meaning. If you approach it without preconceived notions or the need for immediate understanding, you can enjoy it. However, this movie also carries a significant impact on a larger scale. It presents a thought-provoking situation that is especially fascinating to us modern viewers, who are increasingly concerned about the melting polar ice caps and the state of our environment.

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As a gamer, I’d say: “The movie opens with an intriguing premise – the polar ice caps have vanished, drowning the world in water. It’s a new reality for those who survived. Suddenly, we’re whisked away to a vast, gyroscopically-stabilized seafaring vessel. Then, there’s a close-up of Costner relieving himself into a container, followed by him pouring that same liquid into a steampunk gadget that miraculously transforms it into drinking water. If you can’t handle a start like that, then you might be missing out on some fantastic streaming entertainment.”

As I navigate through this watery realm, it’s clear that this enigmatic figure possesses a remarkable knack for engineering intricate Rube Goldberg-like machinery and an impressive lung capacity. The world of Waterworld expands, mirroring the grand unfurling sail of our unnamed Mariner’s catamaran, as I find myself in awe of this silent yet wet character’s self-reliance, resourcefulness, and audacity. My first impression of him is shaped by his daring escapes from machine gun-wielding Sea-Doo riders known as “smokers,” and his seemingly excessive retribution against the scoundrel who pilfered his precious limes, grown with great effort.

In the near future, a man named Classic Costner, adorned with seashell earrings and encrusted ski boots, navigates towards a floating city, where deceased residents are buried in fermenting muck. This trader deals in an unusual commodity – soil, valued more than diamonds, from which he procures a tomato plant and storage shelves. However, when he declines a local’s proposal to father his daughter before departing, the townsfolk become wary, and it is revealed that Costner has gills. Unfortunately, the locals harbor intolerance towards mutants, leading them to capture him.

The story of the bananas continues, involving grocery store owner Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn) and possibly psychic Crayola-loving Enola (Tina Majorino), who is known for her legendary tattoo leading to safety. Together, they help the Mariner escape a well-coordinated Smoker ambush at just the right moment.

Admittedly, the somewhat inhuman and undeniably socially awkward character named Mariner doesn’t endear himself to spectators when he resorts to threatening to toss a child overboard to conserve water. Unfortunately, his behavior doesn’t improve, as evidenced by the unwanted and disliked scimitar-knife haircut he gives his fellow crew members on Captain Costner’s ship. However, this world is harsh, and one must learn to adapt or face the consequences.

Despite his unseemly lack of social skills, MerCostner eventually does come around, so much so that he and Hellen end up making out underwater. And he does risk life and gills to go save Enola when she’s hanging upside down on the biggest, most hole-ridden, Smoker-driven pirate ship in the history of booty collecting.

Waterworld was early steampunk

Throughout its entirety, the steampunk ambiance in “Waterworld” is remarkably intense. However, it truly shines when we get a glimpse of the Smokers’ bizarre, anarchic base, especially those donning six-pack holders as fashionable attire. This atmosphere is already set before the appearance of One-eyed Hopper, who delivers his most swashbuckling, pirate-like performance yet, captaining this band of inbred cavemen (and some unfortunate women) on their raids across the lawless, plundering oceans. Yet it reaches its peak of absurdity when Deacon drives around the ship, accidentally crushing small Smokers while tossing discarded cigarettes to his enthusiastic, unwashed supporters.

Indeed, there’s a lot of inventiveness that goes into not just thriving in this world, but creating weapons of war to take things away from those who dare thrive. And while the budget did notoriously balloon, you can certainly see where much of it went. From weaponry, to ships, to locales, to costumes, the whole thing looks like it should be an attraction at Universal Studios (oh wait, it is!).

The primary factor contributing to the film’s effectiveness, even more so today, might be its premise’s continued relevance. Regrettably, as time has passed, the world is experiencing an increasingly severe climate crisis. Unfortunately, it seems that people didn’t absorb the environmental warnings from Waterworld during its initial release. However, this film can still serve as a valuable reference point for contemplating the potential catastrophic outcomes of our current climate predicament. If only everyone understood that One-eyed Hopper and his steampunk-Sea-Dooing companions are what awaits us beyond the melting arctic ice, perhaps we’d all be more mindful about recycling.

Is there anything in Waterworld that seems oddly close, or easy to spot errors in? Possibly! Does the young girl grate on your nerves a bit? Yes, she does! Does Helen appear strong and powerful? Not exactly! However, it’s all part of the thrilling journey that is Waterworld, which might make you feel a touch “sea-sick” by the end of this rollercoaster ride. But will it ever get the recognition it deserves? I wouldn’t bet on it.

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2024-08-20 18:01