You Won’t Believe the Lost 1990s Silver Surfer Movie Script That Almost Was!

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Hello there, gaming enthusiast! Step right up and dive into the 40th edition of my series, Page One Rewrite. Here, I take a gander at genre screenplays that didn’t quite make it off the page. This time around, we’re exploring one of the earliest attempts to bring something special to the big screen. Rumor has it, this one might even be counted among the “50 Unproduced Masterpieces.” So if you have any ideas for future installments, don’t hesitate to share! You can reach me at [my contact info] and let’s create some magic together!

Stan Lee was openly fond of the Silver Surfer character, and it’s been suggested that his 1978 graphic novel, Silver Surfer: The Ultimate Cosmic Experience!, which omitted parts from the Surfer’s origin story, might have been a precursor to pitching a Silver Surfer movie. As members of the Baby Boomer generation, who once appreciated the character’s philosophical ponderings, grew older and took up influential roles in Hollywood during the 1990s, there was a fair amount of backing for a Silver Surfer film production during this time. Although the Silver Surfer wasn’t extremely popular among superheroes in the 1990s, there was still a good deal of interest in producing a feature film at that time.

No FF, No Problem? The Silver Surfer’s Solo Saga

On August 24, 1995, a script was penned by John Turman, who previously worked as a storyboard artist for Marvel films in the ’90s. Later, he received a story credit on the 2003 Hulk film, and it’s said that his work on this draft had a substantial impact on Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, earning him a credit on that movie as well. However, it seems the only distinct aspect from his script that was used in the final product is “the military torturing the Silver Surfer.” Since then, Turman has written for shows like the MacGyver reboot, and Chris Gore’s book The 50 Greatest Movies Never Made features a chapter on Turman’s Silver Surfer draft. Given the quality of comic-to-film adaptations in the ’90s, Turman’s Silver Surfer script would likely have pleased dedicated fans…provided they are comfortable with the Fantastic Four appearing only as meta-cameos.

In the early stages of the game, I find myself acquainted with Ray Ramsey, a man working at SETI, oddly convinced that extraterrestrial life is nonexistent, despite his job’s purpose. He’s a blend of two iconic 90’s TV characters – dripping with Chandler Bing’s wit and laced with Dana Scully’s skepticism. His workspace overlooks a local art studio, and let me tell you, it’s not uncommon for me to catch a glimpse of a model shedding her robe during the life drawing class. (Later on, we learn this is Alicia Masters, assisting at the studio.)

Originating beyond the Milky Way, the Silver Surfer glides past an old Cold War-era space station before penetrating our atmosphere. Swiftly detected by none other than Calvin, renowned for his antics, mimicking William Shatner’s scene from “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,” a Fantastic Four comic book mysteriously appears next to the stuffed tiger on Calvin’s seat. Remarkably, nobody believes the impudent young blonde child.

Upon touching down in America’s western region, three rowdy individuals confront the Surfer as soon as he arrives. The extraterrestrial, initially unable to communicate and only experiencing our world through a strange, alien perspective where all energy sources and frequencies are visible simultaneously, much like a detailed Kirlian photograph that is dynamic and alive, defends himself. One of the rowdy individuals meets an instant demise, while the others disintegrate into charred silhouettes resembling burnt human-shaped toast.

It’s no wonder he catches the attention of the American military, who swiftly bring him down from the sky. Our shiny alien guest meets his end in the residence of Alicia Masters, a sculptor who is blind and owns a dog named Watcher. Interestingly, she has a statue of Ben Grimm in her home, suggesting that the Fantastic Four are not just figments of imagination in this reality. However, they won’t make an appearance in the story. Another subtle hint to the audience about the connection between the characters is present in this script. The Surfer finds Alicia intriguing, a stark contrast to the rough individuals he had previously dealt with, but he doesn’t linger for long.

Aliens Don’t Surf

In our tale, it’s Major Oliver Powell who steps up as a character reminiscent of… He embarks on a quest to find extraterrestrial life. Our man Ray, playing the role of the government’s primary alien expert, must abruptly leave his social engagement for an investigation. The screenplay maintains a respectful approach to its origins but infuses it with a touch of humor that pokes fun at such topics and acknowledges the audience. Ray’s first reaction to the Silver Surfer is, “Really? An alien on a surfboard? That’s preposterous! Everyone knows aliens don’t surf.” (This mirrors Major Powell’s initial response in the beginning scene, and this joke about an alien on a surfboard recurs throughout the film.)

Ray encounters Alicia, the woman he was previously observing, and while there’s no immediate romantic spark, they engage in playful conversation instead. This scenario is reminiscent of a typical rom-com, where they initially perceive each other’s flaws, yet are compelled to interact due to the plot’s progression. In this instance, it should be noted that Alicia exhibits more character depth than usual in the comics, as her blind and amiable persona is usually her only trait, but here she shows a more dynamic side.

The tour of the Earth by the Surfer progresses, with mountaineers joining him for a drink and making an appearance above a significant Major League Baseball game as a surprise for a well-known player yet to be revealed. Later, the Surfer arrives at Ray’s location for the first time, and his dialog is presented in a playful font to reflect his otherworldly accent. He tries to explain the concept of Galactus, a being beyond good and evil, who needs to have his cosmic hunger satisfied. Although specifics are not provided, the Surfer mentions Zenn-La, which was significant in his comics background.

In a surprising turn of events, the NSA team reconvenes for another round, this time accompanied by a nod to comic enthusiasts – an Adamantium web to detain the Surfer’s board. However, Alicia intervenes in the conflict, successfully persuading the Silver Surfer to comply with their demands. Later, she offers her reasoning: “I had to do it to protect them. If I didn’t, those soldiers might have been harmed…or worse. They’re just kids carrying out orders. It was for their safety.” Contrary to expectations, if you’re anticipating a twist where the military would not subject the Surfer to torture while dissecting him…well, that may not be the case here.

Amidst the usual “military captures an alien” storyline, the intelligent surfboard character successfully breaks free from confinement, dashes towards Silver Surfer, and together they break out while energetic music from bands like Bush or Everclear fills the air. Earlier slain punks by Silver Surfer are found now stored in the government morgue, which he uncovers. As expected, he spends a moment examining their lifeless forms, then brings them back to life using his powerful cosmic energy. Forgiving those who wronged him, the Surfer departs, somewhat damaged by the ordeal.

Some Silliness Before Galactus Arrives

Hereon, the plot veers off into somewhat peculiar territory. The Surfer finds himself shopping, magically transforming an ashtray into gold to cover his costs for a new disguise – a coat and hat that even a Ninja Turtle might appreciate. He then ventures through city life, experiencing humanity at a diner over a burger. Later, he intervenes in a dramatic scene following a drive-by shooting, which carries strong religious undertones. When confronted by one of the perpetrators who asks if he’s “down with O.P.P.,” the Surfer sternly responds, “No, I am not down with O.P.P.

Later, to potentially heighten the awkwardness, the Surfer employs his abilities to mimic a human form, adopting the likeness of famous African American personalities such as Denzel Washington or “MJ”, presumably Michael Jordan. This is peculiar because he’s moved around freely before without any issues, making this sequence seemingly illogical. However, Ray and Alicia eventually locate the Surfer, having just saved an urban youth who had accidentally ridden his surfboard and subsequently returned the child to his mother.

As a devoted fan, I must say that Ray eventually christened him the Silver Surfer, a name I couldn’t help but admire. Alicia, in turn, received a miraculous healing touch for her blindness and a cosmic GPS signal etched into her brain, all courtesy of the Surfer. The alien’s speech began to resonate with the sophisticated, philosophical lingo reminiscent of Stan Lee’s comics, and our champion underwent a profound moral transformation. He came to realize that Earth was unique, humans were imperfect yet beautiful, and if he could, he’d gladly buy the world a Coke – symbolizing unity and friendship.

As we move into the third act, it’s now when the cosmic entity, Galactus, makes his grand entrance. Turman passionately details the awe-inspiring spectacle of Galactus’ spacecraft.

The intricate structure of this design implies a scale far beyond its vast dimensions. It resembles a planet, yet it’s a planet built on computer architecture, meticulously crafted at the atomic level. This minute detail emerges and vanishes rapidly, leaving us unable to fully grasp or appreciate this object in its entirety, even when it completely fills our screen. For inspiration, look into the designs of Moebius and Geof Darrow.

Although it’s huge, the design is so detailed that it looks like a tiny planet made of computer parts. But it’s not just any planet; it’s one that’s been carefully designed down to its smallest components. You can see some parts but then they disappear again, making it hard to understand everything at once. Even when it’s fully visible on the screen, we can’t truly comprehend it all.)

In a dramatic turn of events, Galactus encounters robust military resistance, a spectacle that seems tailor-made for cinematic grandeur. Characters Ray and Alicia join forces with Milo Foribsher, a former physicist suffering from agoraphobia who had deciphered Galactus’ cosmic equations weeks prior but was disregarded by everyone. Now, they strive to interact with this mathematical-speaking entity. Using a modified Walkman and advanced military equipment, they try to reach out to Galactus. In an unintended mishap, Milo inadvertently broadcasts Ethel Merman’s “Gypsy” across the globe, a humoristic touch reminiscent of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s modern-day humor. If we were to update this gag for today, it might involve Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5.

It seems that Galactus found pleasure in experiencing Ethel Merman’s music for the first time. Music may not make sense logically, but it holds a special charm, making it worth treasuring. Instead of relying on military might or speeches, Broadway classics will be what saves our world. In fact, when arguing with Galactus, the Surfer chose Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” over a soldier’s suggestion of Snoop Dogg’s music.

In a surprising turn, Galactus spares the planet, and Ray is left watching as Alicia shares a kiss with the Surfer. However, the Surfer is bound by his duties to Galactus, requiring him to find an alternative meal for Earth. But when the Surfer chases after Galactus’ spaceship, he is rewarded with punishing twin “cosmic purple” eye-beams that cause him to crash back to Earth in a lifeless silver form. He lands in a cornfield, where Calvin, the unexpected character reappears. A touch from the child awakens a faint energy within the Surfer. The scene fades out, hinting at a potential sequel.

Did We Dodge Twin Cosmic-Purple Beams?

In 1995, Turman’s Silver Surfer script could have been considered equally impressive as Richard Donner’s Superman in paying homage to a cherished comic book hero. Although the Fantastic Four are absent, the characterization of Silver Surfer remains true to his origins, and Alicia is given an unexpectedly substantial part in the narrative. Turman effectively portrays Galactus as something beyond human understanding, making it difficult for them even to communicate directly. It would be intriguing to observe how Galactus and his ship might have been brought to life on screen during a time of grandiose set design, practical effects, and elaborate matte paintings.

In some places, certain aspects may seem outdated, yet the vivid scenes portraying the government’s puzzled response to this mysterious figure certainly give the narrative a unique character. (It has a touch of ‘The X-Files’, much like the unmade and early drafts from that period.) Occasionally, the story does stray into absurdity, but this doesn’t make the script dated in today’s context, as all superhero movies now incorporate humor similar to Joss Whedon or James Gunn.

It appears that the character of Major Powell, who becomes General Hager in , might not be as compelling compared to other characters. Major Powell seems rather flat and monotonous, lacking depth or complexity, while Thunderbolt Ross has humor and genuine affection for his daughter which makes him more interesting. In essence, Major Powell can come across as dull or uninteresting.

Among the many unrealized superhero scripts, John Turman’s take on Silver Surfer doesn’t exactly represent a squandered masterpiece, but it is quite engaging. Unfortunately, Marvel’s financial instability and doubts about the budget prevented this project from taking flight, paving the way for films like Independence Day and even Contact to explore similar themes. If it had been released before Blade, it might well have been hailed as “Marvel’s First Good Movie.” The ’90s were rich with science fiction, special effects spectacles…but were any of them concerned with existential questions, urban crime, and the therapeutic effect of musicals?

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2025-05-02 16:08