You Won’t Believe Which Crypto Just Got the ETF Treatment (And No, It’s Not Dogecoin!)

Bitwise Asset Management, unafraid of paperwork and SEC-induced heartburn, just tossed a shiny new application for a spot NEAR ETF onto the regulatory pile. If you’re wondering what a “spot NEAR ETF” is, congrats! You’re officially less confused than 90% of your family at Thanksgiving. 🦃

Per some doc with way too many forms (May 6, S-1, for those keeping score at home), this thing would let investors get up-close-and-personal (but not like, Netflix-and-chill close) with NEAR tokens. We’re talking custody of real tokens, not some copy/paste IOU situation. 🎟️

“NEAR” is not, as your aunt suspects, the name of a new Kardashian baby, but the native token of the Near Protocol: a layer-1 blockchain strutting around town boasting high throughput and an energy-efficient proof-of-stake consensus. Basically, it’s the Tesla of blockchains, minus the disappointing Cybertruck. NEAR launched in 2020 to take on the “blockchain trilemma” (scalability, security, decentralization), using sci-fi-sounding things like Nightshade sharding. Cool name, probably a terrible band.

Bitwise’s offering plans to track the CF NEAR-Dollar Settlement Price (say it five times fast, win a prize) as calculated by CF Benchmarks. Tokens themselves will live at Coinbase Custody Trust Company, who presumably has six locks and a moat.

In the most exciting news for people who know terms like “Delaware statutory trust,” this ETF will give you fractional NEAR exposure and hearty paperwork. The trust got its official Delaware birth certificate on April 28—mazel tov!

No derivatives, no spicy trading tricks, just simple cash handling, ETF style. Creations and redemptions will happen strictly for authorized traders, so don’t show up with Monopoly money.

Bitwise still owes the SEC a 19b-4 form to even get this shindig on the calendar, and at this point, they haven’t picked a ticker. (“$WHOKNOWS” is available.)

Meanwhile, NEAR’s price did the crypto version of a happy dance after the news, popping up almost 6% before hitting snooze and dropping back down a bit. You know how it is: buy the rumor, sell the newsletter…or something like that.

Bitwise’s NEAR application is part of an ETF parade that’s starting to look like the crypto Macy’s Thanksgiving Day. Coming soon (or like, whenever the SEC finds the time): proposed ETFs for Solana, Cardano, Chainlink, Dogecoin (yes, that one 🐕‍🦺), Hedera, Avalanche, and probably your weird cousin’s new token.

Bitwise is also hogging the filing cabinet with DOGE and SOL ETFs and already runs spot Bitcoin and Ether ETFs—currently pulling in more cash than a lemonade stand outside a Taylor Swift concert (over $2.3 billion, not that we’re counting).

All these applications hit the SEC’s desk while the Commission is basically binging procrastination, pushing decisions into June and beyond, including for Bitwise’s Bitcoin/Ethereum “just combine them, why not” ETF and Canary Capital’s Hedera ETF. Grayscale and Canary’s Litecoin plans got put in regulatory timeout, too.

As for Litecoin, the SEC wants to know if this particular ETF is “weird in ways we haven’t even thought of yet.” (That’s the technical term.)

One plot twist for your crypto bingo card: ex-SEC boss Gary Gensler has left the building, replaced by Paul Atkins, a guy more friendly to crypto and possibly less likely to spoil your fun. Will this mean a flood of ETF approvals? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Stay tuned!

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2025-05-07 10:41