In the latest episode of the Bitcoin soap opera, our favorite cryptocurrency has been on a bit of a bungee jump, yo-yoing between $78,000 and $82,000. It’s like watching a cat chase a laser pointer—fun, but a bit dizzying. 🐱💡
Last week, Bitcoin momentarily thought it was a cool kid again, soaring back to $90,000. But then, as if it heard its own party was getting too wild, it got cold feet and sold the news. The US Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and the White House Crypto Summit? More like the “Let’s Make Bitcoin Squirm Again” summit. 🎉📉
And if that wasn’t enough, $3 billion in Bitcoin and Ethereum options contracts decided to throw a retirement party last Friday. They called it quits, and the market responded with the kind of volatility that would make a rollercoaster blush. 🎢💥
On-chain data painted a picture as cheerful as a rainy day at the beach. Traders were recording losses faster than you can say “crypto bubble.” 📉😢
The Bitcoin Spent Output Profit Ratio (try saying that five times fast) took a dive into the negative zone for the first time since October 2024. It’s like watching a swimmer go off the high dive and forget how to swim. 🤿🏊♂️
Uncertainty is the new black in the economy. The U.S. job market is doing the “strong but confused” dance, adding jobs but with an unemployment rate that’s like “Hey, remember me?” 🕺📈
President Trump’s Strategic Bitcoin Reserve is now a thing, and it’s holding onto 187,000 BTC like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕🛡️
Japan is trying to be the cool kid on the crypto block with some tax reforms that are like saying “Hey, we’ll take a bit less of your money, but we’re still gonna take it.” 💰🇯🇵
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2025-03-10 21:11