1% Will Know This XRP Secret (And 99% Will Regret Skipping It!)

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Somewhere in the rolling fog banks of the XRP forums—where optimism flows freely, doubters are seen as professional wet blankets, and at least three people daily claim to be time travelers—stands the illustriously mysterious Pumpius. This is someone who presumably wears sunglasses indoors and spells ‘fiat’ like it’s a swear word. His latest prediction has set the gossip wheels turning so furiously, you could use them to power a small village.

Pumpius’ theory is delightfully simple (like most frightening things): the global financial system is quietly mutating, much like a virus or cheese that’s been left out too long. When The Great Reset happens (capital letters very much his), the chosen ones—the proud XRP holders—will ascend to the dizzying heights of wealth. Everyone else? Well, you lot will be peering in through the windows like children outside a sweetshop, your pockets jangling with the wrong type of currency—plastic, paper, or coin, all tragically passé.

XRP: Not Your Average Shiny Trinket

To Pumpius, XRP isn’t ‘just another token’ any more than a banana is ‘just another weapon’ in Ankh-Morpork. No, no—it’s your pass, your special invitation to the post-reset empire. You won’t need a passport, just a sensible digital wallet (preferably with a strong password and possibly a dash of luck). Once the cosmic rugpull is over, XRP isn’t a speculative asset, it’s citizenship—the kind that can survive both revolutions and unreasonably long bank holidays.

So, while the punters fawn over memes, and the world’s attention span contracts to the length of a TikTok, the XRP crowd sits smug and slightly constipated, apparently possessing the only thing that will matter: infrastructure. It’s not about hype—no!—it’s about rails, pipes, and the unglamorous plumbing behind the shiny façade of finance. (Look impressed. They do.)

99% will be locked out.
Not because they’re poor.
But because they held the wrong assets.
When the global system resets, wealth won’t be counted,
It’ll be coded.

The 1%?
They’ll hold XRP.
— Pumpius (@pumpius) May 3, 2025 🚪🚶‍♂️

An image, no doubt full of meaning for the properly initiated

Banks, Bigwigs, & Whispered Allegiances

Pumpius also claims that the Bank for International Settlements is giving XRP a try, the World Bank has drawn squiggly charts about it, and the IMF’s been spotted dropping compliments like confetti. Somewhere in a dark room, RippleNet is allegedly holding hands with 40 central banks. Do they admit to this in daylight? Of course not. The first rule of Central Bank Club is: you do not talk about Central Bank Club. But in the labyrinthine backrooms of finance, who knows? Maybe they all have matching XRP t-shirts.

A graph; possibly proof, possibly just a graph

Worried you’ll see this transformation on the evening news, complete with ominous theme music? Rest easy (or don’t): Pumpius says the reset will be as subtle as a librarian’s glare. There won’t be alarms, no neon lights, not even a memo. Just some quietly whispered computer commands, a server update, and—snap!—you’ll awaken one day to find the world’s wealth metrics have been rewritten by someone else’s algorithm.

Bold? Yes. A touch speculative? As speculative as a wizard sending you an invoice for “miscellaneous magical expenses.”

Of course, these grand pronouncements are hardly new. XRP circles have been spinning this tale for so long it deserves a spot in Discworld’s Library (somewhere near the section on “extremely speculative magical economics”). As for official confirmation from on high—BIS, IMF, or even the Auditor of Reality—none has yet arrived. But that’s the fun of prophecy: by the time skeptics get an answer, it’s probably already too late, and everybody else is busy arguing over whether coins or tokens are best for scraping gum off your boots. 🪙🤷‍♂️

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2025-05-09 16:40