10 Best Funny Quotes From ‘The Expendables’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

As a long-time fan of action movies and someone who has seen the Expendables franchise more times than I care to admit, I must say that these films are filled with a unique blend of humor and action that sets them apart from other films in the genre.


Fans adore the action-packed “The Expendables” movie franchise as it brings their beloved blockbuster actors together in a thrilling setting. While the main events revolve around gunfire and fistfights, viewers also enjoy witty jokes interspersed throughout. These one-liners can stem naturally from dialogue or be intentionally added to add humor to the storyline.

The large quantity of jokes is impressive given that none of the screenwriters for the four films have much experience in comedy. But are humorous lines essential? Absolutely! Without humor, the series would be more like “Code of Silence“, less appealing to fans of other genres. Thankfully, due to the comedy, “The Expendables” isn’t just a nostalgic treat for ’80s and ’90s kids. It’s enjoyable for everyone.

10 “Tax evasion.” – Doc

‘The Expendables 3’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

At the start of The Expendables 3, the protagonists rescue Doc (Wesley Snipes), an original team member, from a ruthless dictator’s high-security prison as he was being transported by train. Towards the end of the movie, Doc is inquired about his imprisonment, and he explains that it was due to tax evasion, although in reality, he had served eight years for an attempt on a foreign political figure’s life.

The Legal Problems are Over

The phrase acknowledges the actor’s historical legal issues, specifically his conviction for not filing federal income tax returns in 2008, which led to a three-year sentence (later reduced to 28 months). This legal predicament prevented him from being part of the first Expendables movie.

9 “But after five days of agonizing pain… the cobra died.” – Booker

‘The Expendables 2’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

In the film, Chuck Norris (Booker) rescues The Expendables after they are attacked by a band of Sang soldiers. Once the threat has passed, Barney mentions an intriguing tale about a time when a cobra attempted to bite Booker. However, Booker clarifies that the story is indeed accurate, but it was the cobra that didn’t survive the encounter, not him.

The Indestructible Chuck

The humor revolves around Chuck Norris memes, which are constantly shared online. Known for his tough persona, both on screen and off, he strikes fear into nearly everyone and everything. In this instance, the implication is that he’s so tough that even a cobra’s venom would have no effect on him.

8 “Four and a half men.” – Hale Ceasar

‘The Expendables’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

As a devoted admirer putting it in my own words, here I am, pondering when I notice our adversary boasts an entire army, yet we seem to be short-handed. I turn to my comrades and inquire, “What’s our game plan here?” In true Hale Caesar fashion, I can’t resist taking a playful jab as I offer a suggestion, subtly highlighting Yin Yang’s stature with, “Maybe we should stack up on numbers since the tall guy seems to be lacking in that department.

Size Matters?

In a cast packed with heavyweights like Dolph Lundgren and Terry Crews, I found myself looking at Jet Li and thinking, “He’s not exactly dwarfed by them, but compared to these hulking figures, he seems less intimidating.” It’s a witty jab, drawing inspiration from a classic sitcom title, that leaves the audience in stitches – everyone, that is, except Yin Yang. He maintains that there’s nothing amusing about it. Yet, despite this good-natured ribbing, Yin Yang eventually demonstrates combat skills that outshine many of his teammates.

7 “I now pronounce you man and knife.” – Lee Christmas

‘The Expendables 2’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

While Barney might hold the title of leader, it’s Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) who truly shines in the movie franchise. This ex-Special Forces operative is particularly skilled in hand-to-hand combat using knives, as shown during an intense altercation. Notably, he assumes the guise of a priest before confronting his adversary. In this disguise, he delivers a line just before thrusting a knife into the foe’s flesh.

Corny yet Fitting for the Franchise

In a fresh and somewhat cheesy twist, the connection between man and knife might not be immediately apparent, yet it’s an apt joke given the situation. Christmas’ adversary is metaphorically ‘wedded’ to the knife. Furthermore, this joke serves as a subtle reminder to the audience of Christmas’ exceptional skills in this area. He may handle guns with ease, but when wielding daggers, his advantage significantly increases, tipping the scales decidedly in his favor.

6 “Who’s next? Rambo?” – Trench

‘The Expendables 2’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

In the sequel to “The Expendables,” there’s an even greater assemblage of ’80s and ’90s action legends than in the original film. During the final showdown, all characters unite. When Trench (portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenegger) spots Booker (Chuck Norris) joining the group, he ponders if iconic character Rambo might also be present.

An Open-to-All Party

Here’s another innovative approach the franchise has taken to tackle its congestion issue. In the storyline, it’s not out of place for Rambo (played by Sylvester Stallone) to be present, but it seems plausible that a well-known fictional character might lend a helping hand to the team as well.

5 “I like the mystery.” – Gunner

‘Expend4bles’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

In this scenario, Gunner (Dolph Lundgren) has been known for his peculiarity within the team. On this occasion, he arrives sporting a fresh wig, which leaves Barney commenting it looks like a “sick cat” and Christmas remarking it appears as “tumbleweed.” Intrigued by his new appearance, they eventually inquire about his fashion decision. Gunner explains that he’s trying to win over a girl he’s chatting with online. When questioned if they have met in person, he admits he never can.

Gunner’s Weird Dating Rules

There are many interesting points in Gunner’s confession, such as his readiness to alter his appearance for someone he doesn’t know, which only highlights his quirky nature, and we appreciate him all the more for it. While others question this oddity, Gunner remains unperturbed, convinced that the girl prefers men with a ’70s Farrah Fawcett style.

4 “What are you doing here? Praying for work?” – Trent

‘The Expendables’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

CIA agent Mr. Church introduces himself and Barney inside a church for a mission against General Garza. Before they start, he mentions another person will tag along, and indeed, Trent shows up. Trent’s reaction, as expected, is one of surprise upon seeing Barney.

Good Old-Fashioned Banter

This joke, inspired by religion, is funnier than Lee’s because it fits the current situation. The implication is that Barney hasn’t always had top-tier performances, which could explain why Trent stopped collaborating with him. Given these circumstances, it’s plausible that Barney would be found in a church, praying for more work opportunities.

3 “But it’s only June…” – Galgo

‘The Expendables 3’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

A former soldier from Spain, Galgo (Antonio Banderas), possesses a captivating charm and a strong sex drive according to his son. However, he isn’t the sharpest tool in the box, as shown when Barney asks him to vacate the co-pilot’s seat because “it’s almost Christmas.”

Galgo’s Brain is a Little Slow

Galgo finds it amusing and spontaneous that someone might consider Christmas to be a name. After all, it’s hard for him to connect Christmas with a person, given its association with a holiday. Moreover, he’s puzzled as to why Barney would bring up the festive season when it’s still summer (June).

2 “He wants to be President.” – Barney

‘The Expendables’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

After meeting with Mr. Church, Trent playfully invites Barney out for dinner, only to later retract the offer and depart. Church doesn’t find this amusing, so he questions Barney about Trent’s immature behavior. Barney deduces that it stems from Trent’s inflated sense of self-importance since he aspires to become president.

The Governator

In this film, it’s clear that the writers are poking fun at reality, subtly hinting at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s potential presidential bid – a notion that was more suggestion than fact, given his previous role as California governor. However, it feels like Schwarzenegger himself may have momentarily lost track of the fact that he’s on set and not in a political campaign.

1 “You’ve been back enough. I’ll be back.” – Mr. Church

‘The Expendables 2’

10 Best Funny Quotes From 'The Expendables'

In the sequel of the movie, Bruce Willis’ character playfully imitates Schwarzenegger by attempting to say “I’ll be back,” but the CIA agent changes the course of their conversation instead.

Enough with the Grand Returns

In a lively and understandable way, “I’ll be back!” is one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most famous movie lines, so it’s entertaining when people twist it. But what’s even more enjoyable is when someone replies with “Yippee-ki-yay,” echoing Bruce Willis’ iconic quote from Die Hard. It seems like they had a blast while filming together.

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2024-11-20 04:02