32 Funny Quotes From The Vacation Movies

As a seasoned traveler who’s seen more than my fair share of family road trips, I can truly empathize with the Griswolds. The chaos, the mishaps, the unrelenting spirit to keep going despite it all – it’s a tale as old as time, or at least as old as the 80’s.

Over four films – “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” “National Lampoon’s European Vacation,” “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” and “Vegas Vacation” – we’ve embarked on a riotously funny journey with the Griswold family. For the sake of precision, let me clarify that we are focusing on some iconic lines from the original films in this series, excluding the 2015 reboot.

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now. – Christmas Vacation

In simpler terms, Cousin Eddie, portrayed by Randy Quaid, is a constant source of trouble for Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase). When Eddie unexpectedly appears during the Christmas festivities in Christmas Vacation, Clark expresses his shock (and irritation) at his arrival.

Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

In this popular series, John Candy’s standout performance as the unfortunate security guard at Wally World, who encounters the Griswolds at a shut park, ranks as the most memorable cameo role. Following Clark’s action of punching the moose statue, it is Candy who advises them that they should have heeded the message delivered by the vandalized mascot.

And why is the carpet all wet, Todd? – Christmas Vacation

In the movie overflowing with amusing scenes set within the Griswold household, one of the most humorous dialogues occurs at the neighbor’s house. When the affluent neighbors (portrayed by Nicholas Guest and Julia Louis-Dreyfus) return home to find their window shattered, the stereo wrecked, and a puzzling wet rug, they have a heated debate about how such damage could have occurred.

I haven’t seen a beatin’ like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose. – Vegas Vacation

Eddie certainly possesses an eloquence for expression, doesn’t he? “Vegas Vacation” may not be filled with numerous humorous moments, but this is undoubtedly one of the finest, and it stands out as the most memorable quote from the entire film.

Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament… again. – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

It can be argued that among the original movies, the European Vacation might not be the strongest (though Vegas Vacation may take that title), but that doesn’t diminish its impact, particularly in terms of memorable dialogue. I’d wager you’ve repeated this line more times than you can count.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? – Christmas Vacation

Throughout most of “Christmas Vacation”, Clark Griswold is constantly seeking a solution to get rid of Eddie and his family. This endeavor commences from the moment Eddie arrives, with Clark overfilling Eddie’s drink on their first night together.

Well am I gonna eat, or am I gonna starve to death? – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Aunt Edna, portrayed by Imogene Coca, is a grumpy relative who seems to bring misery wherever she goes. The audience first encounters her as she takes a seat at Eddie’s picnic table for lunch. From the get-go, it’s clear that she has an unpleasant disposition when it comes to mealtime.

Do you want that in the can? – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

What makes “European Vacation” particularly memorable is the numerous phrases you can apply in everyday life. Among them, none stand out more than the one delivered by Chevy Chase when asked if he’d prefer his soft drink in a can. In response, he looks towards the restroom and humorously says he’ll take it right in his seat instead.

I don’t know if I oughta go sailin’ down no hill with nothin’ between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic. – Christmas Vacation

Eddie has a lot of problems. One of them happens to be a plate in his head. Instead of metal, however, it’s plastic. This is one of the rare occasions when Eddie actually makes a smart decision and decides not to follow Clark with adding some cooking oil to his sled. It doesn’t end for Clark.

You’re the gourmet around here, Ed… Real tomato ketchup, Eddie? – National Lampoon’s Vacation

The barbecue at Eddie’s house is a dread we all hope never to experience in reality. With homemade punch, Hamburger Helper, and what seems like authentic ketchup, one thing is certain: Eddie isn’t a culinary expert.

Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. – Christmas Vacation

In the series, one of the lesser-appreciated films is where Eddie provides an explanation for the absence of the older kids we first met in the initial movie during Christmas Vacation. It turns out his son has joined a traveling carnival and his daughter is receiving treatment at a rehab center. This, indeed, is a quintessential Eddie moment.

Oh are you happy now Clark? She’s deaf. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

In the film “Vacation,” one of the stops made by the Griswolds is the touristy town of Dodge City, which resembles an old Western setting complete with a tacky saloon. Here, Clark (Chevy Chase) becomes overly immersed in the role-playing and even receives a harmless gunshot from the bartender. Ellen (Beverly D’Angelo) then reminds everyone that their daughter Audrey is deaf, highlighting the potential dangers of such seemingly innocuous activities.

You guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognize you anymore! – Vegas Vacation

Contrary to common assumption, “Vegas Vacation” does boast some genuinely humorous scenes. One such moment is a clever nod to the audience when Clark casually mentions that he barely recognizes his children anymore. This remark serves as an amusing wink to viewers, hinting at the fact that Audrey and Russ are portrayed by different actors in each film.

If that cat had nine lives, he just spent ’em all. – Christmas Vacation

You have to hand it to Eddie, sometimes he knows exactly what he is talking about. Take, for example, when the cat is electrocuted under a chair after gnawing on the Christmas tree lights. It was one of the more controversial moments in the movie, but audiences loved it.

I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don’t you, Clark? – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Eddie is broke, as a matter of fact, he has no money at all. In times like these, you need to make the best of what you have – similar to making hamburgers from Hamburger Helper in this scenario. Wisely, Ellen ensures that Clark only eats the toasted bun and not anything else.

I can’t believe you’re standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come – Christmas Vacation

Clark often finds himself amazed whenever Eddie is present, and their exchanges during the Christmas Vacation movie are some of the finest in the entire series. These interactions perfectly showcase Chevy Chase’s abilities as an expertly sarcastic character.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! – Christmas Vacation

Clark’s meltdown that the Christmas Vacation is one for the ages. After his boss, played by Brian Doyle Murray, stiffs Clark on his Christmas bonus, he completely loses it. Unfortunately, one family member takes him seriously and it almost ends with a trip to jail.

Nothing to be proud of Russ… – National Lampoon’s Vacation

One particularly memorable line in the film arises when Clark fails to notice the “end of road” signs and instead, propels his car off the highway, achieving an impressive leap. Impressed, Russ (Anthony Michael Hall) expresses admiration, but Clark downplays the feat, pretending it’s nothing to boast about, despite clearly taking pride in it himself.

You don’t know when to quit, do ya Griswold? Here’s an idea: Why don’t you give me half the money you were gonna bet? Then, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day! – Vegas Vacation

It’s always a delight when Wallace Shawn appears in a secondary role, and he was undeniably the most humorous aspect of “Vegas Vacation.” Of course, this isn’t to diminish Wayne Newton’s contributions. As the film unfolds, Clark finds himself growing increasingly desperate as he squanders their life savings on gambling. Yet, Wallace Shawn seems unperturbed and even aggravates Clark further with each loss he incurs.

She queens… and vacuums. – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

Although Clark Griswold embodies the classic image of a father, he tells less conventional “dad jokes” than one might expect. However, there’s a notable exception to this when they pass by Buckingham Palace in European Vacation. In other words, while he may not be a frequent teller of dad jokes, his humorous comment about the palace stands out as an amusing exception.

Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. – Christmas Vacation

By the film’s conclusion, Clark has reached a breaking point, clearly shown through his outburst as people consider departing before Christmas Eve has ended.

Speak the language, they’re going to be very nice – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

It’s become a trope – the rude waiter in Paris. That’s not to say it’s never true, because it does happen. It happens in an over-the-top way to the family Griswold as they try to enjoy lunch under the Eiffel Tower when they have possibly the rudest waiter in all of France, despite, or perhaps because of, Clark’s terrible attempt at France.

I owe it to myself to tell you that if you’re taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster is the way to go. You think you hate it now, but just wait until you drive it. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

In the original film “Vacation,” Eugene Levy portrays a minor yet unforgettable character – a shady car dealer who deceives Clark into purchasing an undesirable vehicle. This car, supposedly the ugliest ever made, is one that Levy’s character would take… if credibility were not an issue.

Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. – Christmas Vacation

Clark’s aunt, Bethany (played by Mae Questel), seems to have forgotten many things. During a recent gathering when they asked her to give the blessing for the meal, she mistakenly thought they were asking about one of her old friends who had passed away long ago. It’s truly unfortunate for both Bethany and Grace in this situation.

Now in order to get to your rooms, you’re going to have to go this way through the casino, veer to the left. Take a sharp right at the first giant palm tree. You’ll see a group of blackjack tables. Not baccarat, not craps, blackjack. Keep going, then wind around to your left. If you get to the pool, you’ve gone too far – Vegas Vacation

Whenever someone visits Las Vegas, they often hear advice similar to this during check-in: Before you even think about starting to gamble, make sure you’ve found your hotel room first. Finding a casino in Las Vegas is quite simple.

Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Cousin Catherine, who is Miriam Flynn, leads a challenging existence due to the constant presence of her spouse, Eddie. However, a silver lining exists: following the arrival of her upcoming child, she will be able to resign from one of her positions. Only one job, though.

He oughta know it’s illegal. That’s a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it. – Christmas Vacation

In this iconic movie scene, Eddie’s actions with the sewage in his RV are noteworthy, yet hard to describe delicately. Instead of quoting a line that might be too explicit, we decided to focus on Clark’s less renowned but still amusing part of their conversation.

The dog wet on the picnic basket. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Besides Aunt Edna bringing along her canine companion, Dinky, on their journey west with the Griswolds, it’s important to note that describing Dinky as undisciplined is actually an understatement. In fact, at one stage, he decided to do his business on the family’s packed lunch. Interestingly, Aunt Edna appears unfazed by this, but Clark finds himself in an awkward situation when trying to show off with such untidy circumstances around.

Eddie, has anyone ever told you you’re bad luck? – Vegas Vacation

In three out of the four films, Cousin Eddie primarily causes misery for Clark and his family. In the movie titled “Vegas Vacation,” this includes casting a supposed spell on Clark’s gambling, although Clark believes this to be the case. He has no qualms about expressing his disapproval of Eddie’s behavior.

I gotta be crazy, I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Every time I watch a “Vacation” film, there comes a moment when Clark Griswold reaches his breaking point entirely. In the initial movie, it’s an iconic scene in the car where he passionately communicates to his family, albeit not as gently, that they won’t give up, no matter what.

Kent, I believe the pyramidal tracks are housing development outside of Cairo. – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

In the initial sequence of European Vacation, the Griswolds appear on an absurd game show, wearing pig costumes. They’re competing against a scholarly family and seem to be at a significant disadvantage. Clark’s response to a question regarding pyramidal paths confirms this. (These structures are part of the human brain.)

I don’t know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father… may be going away for a little while. – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Following the chaotic incident at Christmas where Clark loses control and Eddie abducts their boss, Ellen conveys her concerns to Russ that things may not end well for them. Thankfully, everything worked out in the end.

2024-12-24 20:37