As a great admirer of Leslie Nielsen‘s comedic genius, I must say his impact on the world of film is nothing short of extraordinary. His ability to deliver the most absurd lines with a perfectly straight face has left an indelible mark on the annals of comedy history.
In certain significant instances, the most humorous method to deliver a dialogue line can be in an utterly straight-faced manner, and no one grasped this concept better than Leslie Nielsen. Although his initial body of work was dominated by dramas, this actor left an indelible mark on numerous iconic parody films, shaping the trajectory of his career from his role in 1980’s “Airplane!” to his passing in 2010 at the age of 84. Let us reminisce about the life of this deadpan master by revisiting some of the funniest Leslie Nielsen movie lines.
“Wilma, I Promise You, Whatever Scum Did This, Not One Man On This Force Will Rest One Minute Until He’s Behind Bars. Now, Let’s Grab A Bite To Eat” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
In the beginning of the 1988 movie “The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!”, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), while visiting his partner Nordberg in the hospital, makes several off-color comments to Nordberg’s wife, Wilma (Susan Beaubian). One of the funniest moments occurs when he inquires about Captain Ed Hocken (Geroge Kennedy) going out for lunch immediately after assuring Wilma that he would not take any breaks on this case.
“Yes, Yes, I Remember. I Had Lasagna” – Airplane!
In the movie “Airplane!”, Dr. Rumack, played by Leslie Nielsen, becomes involved when several passengers suddenly become unwell. He queries flight attendant Elaine (Julie Hagerty) about the meal served on board. After she reveals there were options between steak or fish, he casually mentions that somehow, he did not consume either of those dishes.
“Nice Party, Hapsburg. I See A Lot Of Familiar Face-Lifts” – The Naked Gun 2-1/2: The Smell Of Fear
In the 1991 sequel of the “Naked Gun” films, Leslie Nielsen’s character Frank Drebin develops an instant disdain for Quentin Hapsburg (played by Robert Goulet), who is dating his ex-lover Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley). He seizes any chance he gets to mock the affluent oil tycoon, even going as far as joking about how many of his party attendees seem to have undergone cosmetic surgery.
“I’m Here Today At The… ‘Un'” – Scary Movie 4
As a die-hard fan, I can’t help but reminisce about the good old days when Leslie Nielsen, the legend himself, teamed up with David Zucker once more, this time for the Scary Movie franchise. You know, the series that brilliantly spoofs some of the scariest films out there! In one of his most memorable scenes from Scary Movie 4 in 2006, my man Leslie stepped into the shoes of President Baxter. In a moment of comedic gold, he was supposed to recognize who he was addressing by looking at the UN logo behind him, but let’s just say, things didn’t go as planned! Classic Leslie Nielsen, always leaving us in stitches!
“It’s An Entirely Different Kind Of Flying” – Airplane!
In the movie Airplane!, when Rumack queries Ted Striker (Robert Hays) about his piloting background, he discloses he flew small fighter jets for the Air Force. Upon stating that controlling a four-engine commercial plane is an entirely distinct form of flying, the doctor and flight attendant Randy (Lorna Patterson) seize the last word as their cue to repeat him in harmony.
“Nice Beaver!” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
One classic joke from the mockumentary film “The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!” involves Detective Drebin complimenting Jane, who is rummaging through her attic on a ladder, on her “beaver.” Unaware viewers are initially confused about the comment until Jane hands down a recently taxidermied woodland animal to him.
“Children Of The Night. What A Mess They Make” – Dracula: Dead And Loving It
In 1995, Mel Brooks made fun of one of the classic vampire movies with “Dracula: Dead and Loving It“, and cast Leslie Nielsen as the main character. A humorous scene features the count mimicking Bela Lugosi’s famous line from the 1931 original – “Listen to them, children of the night. What beautiful music they make!” – by making a reference to a pile of bat droppings (bat guano) on his staircase instead.
“I’m Sure That We Can Handle This Situation Maturely, Just Like The Responsible Adults That We Are. Isn’t That right, Mr… Poopy Pants?” – The Naked Gun 2-1/2: The Smell Of Fear
Frank Drebin, despite his forgetfulness, isn’t typically seen as immature, except for this instance from “The Naked Gun 2-1/2: The Smell of Fear”. It’s understandable that he might feel somewhat childish following the events between him and Jane across the movies, but addressing her new partner, Hapsburg, as “Mr. Stinky Bottom” is unforgivably juvenile.
“You Know, I Usually Specialize In Stuff You Can Wrap” – All I Want For Christmas
In the year 1991, Leslie Nielsen portrayed Santa Claus for the first time, not counting his role in the 2000 TV movie titled “Santa Who?“. This initial appearance as jolly old Saint Nick was in the movie “All I Want for Christmas“, where he played a compassionate mall Santa. In this story, he was asked by young Hallie (Thora Birch) to help reunite her separated parents.
“I Am Serious And Don’t Call Me Shirley” – Airplane!
One of Leslie Nielsen’s funniest lines in Airplane!, arguably the movie’s overall funniest line, occurs when Dr. Rumack asks Striker if he can handle the plane with its incapacitated pilots and land it. When Striker replies, “Can’t you be for real?”, Dr. Rumack takes this to mean that he was referring to him as a womanly name.
“It’s The Same Old Story. Boy Finds Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Girl Finds Boy, Boy Forgets Girl, Boy Remembers Girl, Girl Dies In A Tragic Blimp Accident Over The Orange Bowl On New Year’s Day” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
In the initial Naked Gun film, during their inaugural date at Frank’s residence, they were conversing about their pasts. At one point, Frank brings up a former lover he had tragically lost. The humor deepens when Jane inquires if the blimp is from Goodyear, and Frank, misunderstanding her question, replies with a grim jest: “No, the most unfortunate.
“I Just Want To Tell You Both, Good Luck. We’re All Counting On You” – Airplane!
Initially, when Leslie Nielsen delivers this line to Ted and Elaine as they try to land in Airplane!, it’s not immediately humorous. But once Rumack unexpectedly repeats it thrice more during the climax, it transforms into something incredibly funny.
“The Truth Hurts, Doesn’t It, Hapsburg? Oh, Sure, Maybe Not As Much As Landing On A Bicycle With The Seat Missing, But It Hurts!” – The Naked Gun 2-1/2: The Smell Of Fear
In “The Naked Gun 2 1/2,” it’s revealed that Frank’s dislike of Hapsburg had a valid reason – Hapsburg was secretly involved in terrorism. Frank’s harsh words towards the villain paint a picture of an uncomfortable situation indeed.
“I Haven’t Seen Anything Like This Since The Anita Bryant Concert” – Airplane!
As a devotee looking back, Anita Bryant was a highly contentious figure during the late 1970s, primarily due to her vocal stance against LGBTQ+ rights. One of numerous instances where pop culture poked fun at her can be found in the movie Airplane!, when Rumack likened the chaotic display of sickness among passengers to the crowd at one of her concerts.
“I Just Think About Baseball” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
The “The Naked Gun” film series is renowned for its humorous and sneaky use of double meanings, like when Drebin mentions he had an issue with his gun accidentally firing… or so it appears. The conversation gets peculiar when she inquires about how he resolved the problem, but his reply seems to refer to something else entirely.
“I’ve Been Like A Father To You! I Raised You, Just Like Your Father Did! I Believed In You, Just Like Your Father Did! I Slept With Your Mother, Just Like Your Father Did!” – Superhero Movie
Following two horror films, Leslie Nielsen took on the role of Uncle Albert in the 2008 spoof of popular superhero flicks, notably Spider-Man, titled Superhero Movie. In this production, he was the uncle of the gifted Rick (portrayed by Drake Bell). During a heated dispute, Uncle Albert pushes too hard in attempting to demonstrate his worthiness as a mentor figure for his nephew.
“Uh, Then He’s Certainly Not Going To Enjoy That Treat I Just Fed To Him” – Wrongfully Accused
As a gaming aficionado, I’d say that “Wrongfully Accused,” starring Leslie Nielsen, is like a hilarious spoof of intense action flicks, with strong ties to the legendary “The Fugitive.” But this 1998 comedy doesn’t just stop at mocking the genre – it throws in a dash of slapstick humor too! For instance, when Nielsen’s character Ryan Harrison gets a bit confused and mistakes a dog’s behind for its face. Now that’s something you wouldn’t see in your typical action movie, right?
“It’s True What They Say: Cops And Women Don’t Mix. It’s Like Eating A Spoonful Of Drano. Sure, It’ll Clean You Out, But It’ll Leave You Hollow Inside” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
Never, under any circumstances, consume a spoonful of Drano.
“You Can’t Take A Guess For Another Two Hours?” – Airplane!
This line from the comedy “Airplane!” features a witty exchange between Rumack and Captain Oveur, filled with misinterpretations. When Rumack inquires about how quickly the plane can land, Captain Oveur replies, “Well, not for another two hours,” which Dr. Rumack misunderstands as referring to when he could formulate a theory.
“A Parachute Not Opening. That’s A Way To Die. Getting Caught In The Gears Of A Combine. Having Your Nuts Bit Off By A Laplander. That’s The Way I Wanna Go!” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
In the movie “The Naked Gun“, Captain Hocken laments the cowardly manner in which Nordberg was attacked and left critically injured, stating it’s “not the way a man should meet his end.” Frank then proceeds to suggest alternative, more honorable ways for someone to depart this world.
“You Carry A UB-21 Schnauzer With A Gnab Silencer…” – Spy Hard
In the 1996 spoof spy film “Spy Hard”, Dick Steele (Leslie Nielsen) casually reveals some telling details about Russian agent Veronique Ukrinsky (Nicolette Sheridan), using acronyms. Here’s the full quote, but rephrased for easier understanding:
“Just Think, Next Time I Shoot Someone, I Could Be Arrested” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
Drebin utters a line reminiscent of “The Naked Gun” series when he’s taken off the Police Squad, a move that appears fitting given his reckless, gun-happy demeanor.
“Uh, Fire Drill” – Safety Patrol
In 1998, Leslie Nielsen played the role of Mr. Penn, a school security chief, in ABC’s TV movie titled “Safety Patrol“. Despite his frequent clumsiness, he attempted to conceal accidents like when he accidentally fell out of a window. To cover up this mishap, he tried to pass it off as a rehearsed fire drill escape technique after noticing that three students had seen him fall.
“Didn’t I Try To Adopt That 18-Year-Old Korean Girl?” – The Naked Gun 33-1/3: The Final Insult
In the movie “The Naked Gun 33-1/3: The Final Insult,” during a therapy session involving a couple, Jane inquires about Frank’s reluctance to have children. His response appears to allude to Woody Allen’s controversial relationship with Soon-Yi Previn, which was a hot topic at the time.
“That Doesn’t Prove A Thing. She Could Be Related To Joe Cocker” – Repossessed
In an unusual twist, the movie Repossessed surpasses typical demonic possession films by featuring Linda Blair, known for her role in The Exorcist, portraying a different character requiring spiritual help. The priest in this 1990 comedy is Father Jedediah Mayii, who humorously compares the suspected possessed individual – characterized by an otherworldly voice and bizarre facial expressions – to the flamboyant singer Joe Cocker.
“You Take A Chance Getting Up In The Morning, Crossing The Street, Or Sticking Your Face In A Fan” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
We strongly recommend not taking the chance of sticking your face in a fan, no matter how admirably courageous The Naked Gun‘s Frank Drebin may seem.
“The Other Two Pilots, They’re Just Fine. They’re At The Controls Flying The Plane, Free To Pursue A Life Of Religious Fulfillment” – Airplane!
In the movie “Airplane!”, even if Dr. Rumack wasn’t actually deceiving about the pilots’ health status, it would still seem quite implausible to describe a healthy individual in such an exaggerated manner. However, what makes Dr. Rumack’s attempts to reassure the passengers so amusing is the way his honesty seems to stretch the truth, much like Pinocchio’s nose growing with each untruthful statement.
“Jane, Since I’ve Met You, I’ve Noticed Things That I Never Knew Were There Before. Birds Singing, Dew Glistening On A Newly Formed Leaf, Stoplights” – The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!
It seems that, much like Drebin after encountering Jane in ‘The Naked Gun’, one might become more aware of things as mundane as stoplights, without needing to fall in love first.
“I’ll Tell Ya What Crazy Is. Crazy Is Walking Down The Street With Half A Cantaloupe On Your Head Saying, ‘I’m A Hamster. I’m A Hamster.’ That’s Crazy” – Spy Hard
In the movie “Spy Hard,” Leslie Nielsen’s impeccable deadpan acting could arguably be seen as the pinnacle of delivering lines that are surprisingly absurd. If not for his delivery, this particular quote might not have been as effective.
“I Was Ready To Plant My Flag Back In Washington D.C., Where Every Congressman Has The Constitutional Right To Be A Felon. Good Old America” – 2001: A Space Travesty
In the year 2000, Leslie Nielsen played the role of a marshal for an interstellar voyage in the comedic sci-fi spoof titled “2001: A Space Travesty“. The movie is mostly humor based on visual gags, but it occasionally includes witty dialogue. For instance, there’s a line in the narration that subtly suggests a grim future for the United States.
“I’d Forget My Genitals If They Weren’t Superglued In Between My Legs. Water-skiing Accident” – Wrongfully Accused
One fun moment from Wrongfully Accused references the twist ending from The Usual Suspects, with Ryan Harrison coming up with a fake alias and full backstory using words he sees posted around a fishing store. Before making a run for it, he makes a seemingly random remark about the state of his manhood.
“I Just Want To Tell You Both, Good Luck. We’re All Counting On You” – Scary Movie 3
In the initial scene of Leslie Nielsen as President Baxter in Scary Movie 3, there’s an amusing reference back to his character from Airplane!, where he expresses similar good wishes for the main characters’ success that Rumack had for Ted and Elaine.
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2024-10-15 19:38