32 Laugh-Out-Loud Jimmy Fallon Quotes That Will Make You LOL!

From being a member of the Saturday Night Live cast from 1998 to 2004, through his transformation into a late-night talk show host, hosting NBC’s Late Night and The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon has enjoyed an impressive career marked by spot-on impressions, impressive musical performances, and hilarious jokes. Here are some of the funniest quotes you might have heard him say on SNL and his talk shows throughout the years.

“This Is My Show And It’s A No-Nonsense Show. I’m Not Gonna Take Any Crap From Nobody” – Saturday Night Live

It’s widely believed that Jimmy Fallon’s funniest Saturday Night Live sketch is ‘The Barry Gibb Talk Show.’ In this recurring bit, he portrays the Bee Gees frontman, who co-hosts a political talk show with his brother Robin (Justin Timberlake). At the start of each episode, Gibb emphasizes that he takes his show very seriously and shows this by scolding or belittling his guests for even the smallest disagreement or attempt at flattery.

“I Don’t Know What That’s Like” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

In the realm of Saturday Night Live, I’m often known for my unplanned appearances in sketches, largely due to my habit of letting out spontaneous laughter on stage. This reputation was playfully acknowledged by me on Late Night, following Rose Byrne’s confession about her own struggles with keeping a straight face during comedy performances.

“Move!” – Saturday Night Live

Among Jimmy Fallon’s most hilarious ongoing SNL personas is Nicky Burns, a self-important IT staff member who flaunts an exclusive catchphrase. He would use this rudeness to signal coworkers to move aside, giving him the opportunity to seize their computer and rectify any issues himself.

“Thank You, Emails That Say, ‘You Have Successfully Unsubscribed From These Emails,’ For Completely Missing The Point” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

One popular running gag that Jimmy Fallon initiated on Late Night and carried over to The Tonight Show involves him composing “Thank You” notes addressing various subjects, ranging from current events to common pet peeves. For example, he penned a note acknowledging the humor in receiving an email from the very address you requested to stop receiving emails from.

“Is It Hard To Get Into The Paris Hilton?” – Saturday Night Live

Between 2000 and 2004, Jimmy Fallon teamed up with Tina Fey to co-host “Weekend Update.” During this time, one memorable moment was Jimmy’s interview with Paris Hilton. To avoid discussing her recent scandal, he started off on a different note. When the conversation steered towards her family’s hotel chain and the discovery that they own a property in Paris, France, Jimmy couldn’t help but seize the chance for an extended series of amusing double entendres.

“Thank You, Hand Sanitizer Pump In Public Restrooms For Supplying Me With 90% Of The Germs I Am Trying to Kill” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

In the amusing “Thank You” notes section on Late Night, Jimmy encourages viewers to keep personal hand sanitizers handy, implying that the publicly provided ones might not always be clean.

“I Don’t Come To Where You Work And Knock The Corndog Out Of Your Hand” – Saturday Night Live

During an SNL sketch at a store named Jeffrey’s, both Jimmy Fallon and host Sean Hayes found themselves unable to suppress their laughter. The amusement was sparked when Will Ferrell’s character made his entrance on a scooter. Earlier in the sketch, Fallon and Hayes portrayed snobbish employees who would mock customers for their fashion choices, but primarily, they mocked them simply for being present.

“Last Week, A Hunter In Kansas Shot His Friend Twice Because He Mistakenly Thought He Was A Turkey. After The First Shot, The Guy Said He Wasn’t A Turkey. But, Come On, That’s Exactly What A Turkey Would Have Said” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon has consistently kicked off each episode of Late Night and The Tonight Show with a series of jokes, addressing the day’s amusing or peculiar news stories that may have slipped under people’s radar. For example, in this segment, he humorously comments on the absurdity of a hunter who not only mistook a human for a turkey but also fired shots at them multiple times… unless they were up to some mischievous bird business!

“Does This Mean I’m Knighted? Or Did I Just Get Queened?” – Saturday Night Live

In Season 27, when Ian McKellan took over as host on SNL, he made an appearance on “Weekend Update” in character as Maggie Smith. During her Oscar predictions segment, she playfully stole a kiss from Jimmy Fallon. Afterward, Fallon pondered whether, given that McKellan is both a knight and a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, he might now choose to be called ‘Sir’… or perhaps a queen instead.

“Thank You, Hard Taco Shells, For Surviving The Long Journey From Factory, To Supermarket, To My Plate And Then Breaking The Moment I Put Something Inside You” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Despite the joy Taco Tuesdays bring, they can become rather bothersome, especially when your tortilla shell breaks while you’re still cooking. Fallon expresses her annoyance in a “Thank You” note that the shell remained unbroken until that critical point of preparation.

“Say Hello, You Old Cork Soakers” – Saturday Night Live

In a sketch from Season 29, SNL host and musical guest Janet Jackson portrayed a woman visiting an Italian vineyard. The guides, played by Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz, revealed their simplified bottling method called “soaking corks.” Due to their accents, this phrase might unintentionally sound suggestive, causing Janet Jackson to almost slip up with it a couple of times.

“Steven Spielberg Is Going To Release A Biopic About Abraham Lincoln Next Year. Right, That’s A Good Way To Honor Lincoln – By Sending People To The Theater” – Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the U.S., was killed by actor John Wilkes Booth on April 14, 1865, during a performance at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C. Despite the fact that Steven Spielberg’s 2012 biopic, “Lincoln,” starring Daniel Day-Lewis who significantly changed his voice for the role, was both critically and commercially successful, Fallon raises a valid concern about whether a theatrical release would be appropriate.

“We Got A Freakin’ Oxygen Molecule Joinin’ With Two Hydrogen Molecules In A Covalent Bond Ovah Heah! – Saturday Night Live

One amusing Saturday Night Live sketch featuring a professional athlete originates from Season 28 and stars NASCAR legend Jeff Gordon as a man who employs two aquarium repairmen, portrayed by Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz. Their constant stream of jokes distracts them from their task, leading to the death of their client’s fish. As a result, they are compelled to attend court-ordered therapy, where their psychologist (Fred Armisen) proposes a word association game. In response to the phrase, “I prefer water,” Fallon’s character instinctively makes a wisecrack that humorously explains its chemical composition.

“Researchers In Canada Say They Have Discovered The Part Of The Brain That Is Used To Make Decisions, And This Is Weird: If You’re Married, It’s Actually Located In Your Wife’s Brain” – Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

In simpler terms, it’s often said that a remarkable man has a remarkable woman by his side – this well-known phrase might be the inspiration behind Jimmy Fallon’s humorous commentary on a recent scientific discovery during his late-night show.

“We Only Had ‘Tee Martoonis'” – Saturday Night Live

Jimmy Fallon frequently collaborated with Chris Parnell in a series of skits featuring characters Kip and Wayne Bloater, who had a habit of delivering endless, cringeworthy puns to anyone they talked to. In one particular skit, the Bloater Brothers were stopped by two police officers (portrayed by host John Goodman and SNL veteran Tim Meadows), but their attempts to prove they weren’t driving under the influence fell flat when they bombarded the officers with a stream of jokes instead of a coherent explanation.

“This Week, A 95-Year-Old Woman Married A 98-Year-Old Man To Become The World’s Oldest Newlyweds. They’re Registered At Bed, Sponge Bath And Beyond” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Occasionally, the most engaging late-night talk show monologues start with a heartwarming and innocent tale, then add a humorous twist that can range from naughty to downright macabre. The humor in this specific Late Night with Jimmy Fallon segment leans towards the lighter end, but it’s not exactly a picture you’d want to imagine.

“Tommy, Please Tell Me You Got That On Tape!” – Saturday Night Live

In a regularly featured segment known as “Boston Teens,” Jimmy Fallon portrays Pat “Sully” Sullivan alongside Rachel Dratch as his girlfriend, Denise “Zazu” McDenna. Each sketch appears as if it’s being recorded with a camcorder by an off-screen friend named Tommy, who consistently captures some sort of Freudian slip, which Sully is quick to ensure has been recorded.

“Thank You, Guy Who Uses the Urinal Right Next to Me Even Though There Are Literally 10 Open Urinals. Why Not Put Your Arm Around My Shoulder While We’re At It?” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

This “Thank You Notes” joke on Late Night suggests that Jimmy Fallon could be someone who, upon entering a public restroom with only two urinals, might patiently wait outside if one is occupied or in use, rather than using a toilet stall or rushing in impolitely.

“According To A Recent Bureau Of Justice Survey, Night Is The Most Dangerous Time For Law Enforcement Officers. Second Most Dangerous Time: Day” – Saturday Night Live

1. It’s important to note that nighttime can pose a risk for people venturing out in public.

2. Could you clarify if there was a particular hour of the night that the Bureau of Justice was referring to when carrying out this survey?

3. Regardless of the findings, this research ended up inspiring one of Jimmy Fallon’s funniest and most sarcastic “Weekend Update” segments.

“Do You Like It Better Than Sleep?” – The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

In 2017, Louis C.K. expressed on The Tonight Show that his most cherished activity is having a nap. When Jimmy Fallon inquired whether he favored naps over sleeping extensively, the comedian didn’t hesitate to express his view that such a question was rather unintelligent. Admittedly, it’s hard not to agree with him on this point.

“If You’re Just Joining Us, Yes, These Are My Real Shoulders” – Saturday Night Live

Whenever Jimmy Fallon mimicked a public figure on SNL, his goal was to replicate not only the person’s voice but also their appearance, albeit in an over-the-top manner. For instance, when he took on the role of TV personality Larry King, he emphasized his distinctive slouched posture and inflated the character’s unusually high shoulders with a dramatic touch.

“Thank You, The Phrase ‘The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’ For Making Me Seriously Wonder Who Is In Charge Of Deciding What The Greatest Thing Is” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

It’s clear that the invention of sliced bread revolutionized things significantly when it first came out. Nevertheless, as Jimmy Fallon humorously points out in his “Thank You” note skit on Late Night, there were other inventions that hold greater importance.

“New Scientist Magazine Reported… In The Future, Cars Could Be Powered By Hazelnuts. That’s Encouraging, Considering An 8-Ounce Jar Of Hazelnuts Costs About $9” – Saturday Night Live

Jimmy Fallon proposes an innovative concept for a car that operates using Bald Eagle skulls and Fabergé eggs as its fuel source.

“Happy Birthday To Arnold Palmer, Who Turned 82. That’s 41 Years Iced Tea And 41 Years Lemonade” – Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

A beverage made by blending sweet tea with lemonade is commonly known as an Arnold Palmer, named after the renowned golfer who frequently requested it. This was a clever and amusing way for Fallon to pay tribute to the late athlete on his birthday in 2011.

“I’m Pat O’Brien. I Don’t Breathe Through My Nose Ever” – Saturday Night Live

Previously a sportscaster and host of Access Hollywood, Pat O’Brien has a distinctive, somewhat nasal speaking tone. This characteristic was often highlighted by Jimmy Fallon in his impressions of O’Brien during his stint on Saturday Night Live.

“A New Study Found That Women Gain More Weight After Marriage But Men Gain More Weight After A Divorce. Yeah, The Divorce Usually Takes Place After Men Point Out That Women Gained More Weight After Marriage.” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Luckily, despite the joke he made during his monologue on Late Night, Jimmy Fallon remained wedded to his spouse, movie producer Nancy Juvonen.

“Plus, We’re Letterboxed” – Saturday Night Live

One hilarious instance featuring Jon Hamm occurs when he and Jimmy Fallon take on the roles of Ace and Gary in a live-action adaptation of the frequent “SNL” skit, “The Ambiguously Gay Duo.” This transformation from animated characters into physical ones is triggered by a raygun, which, as Fallon’s character Gary notes, additionally alters the screen format to 16:9.

“Thank You, Socks with Sandals For Being A Look That Proudly Declares To The World, ‘The People I’m Friends With Now Are The Only People I Ever Want To Be Friends With'” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

During this “Late Night” period, the “Thank You Notes” joke could come across as quite blunt since it’s reasonable to believe that some individuals wear socks with sandals while still enjoying good social interactions. However, one may wonder, what’s their secret?

“Georgia’s Board Of Education Approved A Plan That Allows Teachers To Keep Using The Word ‘Evolution’ When Teaching Biology. Though, As A Compromise, Dinosaurs Are Now Called ‘Jesus Horses'” – Saturday Night Live

This “Weekend Update” joke gives us a great idea for a sci-fi revisionist history thriller.

“Now Why Would An Angel Want To Get High? They Wouldn’t Need To, Would They? They’re Already In The Clouds, That’s Kind Of Their Thing” – Saturday Night Live

Jimmy Fallon came back to host the 2011 Christmas episode of SNL, where he played several famous characters along with musical guest Michael Bublé in a spoof for a fictitious Christmas duets album. In this role, as comedian Russell Brand, he joked about celestial beings using drugs unnecessarily during his interruption of Bublé’s rendition of “Angels We Have Heard on High,” reminiscing about an addict named Angel who happened to share the same name with the celestial beings.

“Back At Hampshire College For Junior Year Numero Tres” – Saturday Night Live

If Jimmy Fallon’s Saturday Night Live (SNL) career had persisted, he might still be portraying the character Jarrett from “Jarrett’s Room,” as it seemed Jarrett was forever a student and would never leave high school.

“Thank You, People Who Say, ‘Have A Safe Flight,’ For Basically Saying, ‘Hope You Don’t Die’” – Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Thanks to the amusing “Thank You Notes” skit on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, we’ll find ourselves associating it with every airplane journey from now on.

2025-02-20 22:38