32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

As someone who has spent a considerable amount of time coaching young hockey teams and working within the educational system, I find myself utterly astounded by the reckless behavior displayed in this movie, “D2: The Mighty Ducks.”


As a child, there’s no doubt that I’ve re-watched the movie “D2: The Mighty Ducks” more times than any other film. After all, when you’re deeply fond of something as a kid, it’s only natural to watch or rewatch it countless times. And let me tell you, I was absolutely smitten with “The Mighty Ducks 2” as a child. In fact, I made a point to watch it at least once every month for several years.

A less confident individual might find it odd, considering I’m a movie critic and ‘Mighty Ducks 2’ isn’t as intricate as ‘Parasite’. However, even as a child, I could tell something was off about it. Yet, its flaws didn’t bother me – if anything, they were part of the charm. The plot holes, the questionable acting, and that bizarre scene where a player gets lassoed during a game… these aspects didn’t detract from my enjoyment. Instead, they taught me about Iceland and Greenland in an unusual way. So, let’s applaud the absurdities of ‘Mighty Ducks 2’. Let’s delve into those preposterous scenes that never dampened my affection for it.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Knuckle Puck

Knuckleball or knuckle puck is indeed a genuine phenomenon observed in sports like baseball and hockey. Occasionally, a ball or puck may behave unpredictably due to an unusual spin or throw. The humor lies in the misconception that the knuckle puck defies physics. However, the challenge lies not in its physical impossibility but rather in the fact that in a real game, players wouldn’t have enough time to consistently execute this maneuver. As kids, though, we have all the time in the world to learn and master this unique shot, making it one of the most exciting things to try!

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Why Does Goldberg Even Play?

As a gamer, I’ve got to say Goldberg is quite the character off the field, always stirring up some fun, which makes him a great buddy to have around. But on the ice, he’s just okay as a goalie, nothing spectacular. It baffles me why they’d keep him in when Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney is sitting idle on the bench. I mean, come on, Gordon! You got Hendrix sponsorship money to spend wisely, and that means putting together a solid team. As a kid, this situation always left me scratching my head.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Gunnar Stahl’s Triple Deke

In a one-on-one situation or during a penalty shot, it’s usually smart to make the goalie move out of position. By doing so, you create a favorable shooting angle. I appreciate the concept of a triple deke, but if you perform it and then just stop to shoot from a great distance, you’re missing the point of the maneuver because the goalie can easily adjust. This entire play comes across as rather embarrassing for the top scorer in the tournament.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Putting Julie In For Just Gunnar Stahl

Julie delivered an outstanding save during the decisive penalty kick, implying that Bombay made a wise decision by having her on the field. However, if you’re considering a career in coaching, I wouldn’t recommend keeping a player on the sidelines throughout the game and only bringing them in for the last play. It’s not an effective strategy to inspire peak performance, and it also doesn’t convey trust in the goalkeeper who had already contributed 99.9% of the team’s success.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Why Can’t Luis Stop?

Hand up. I’m really bad at ice skating. I only went a few times as a kid and could not figure out how to stop. It’s a point of personal shame, but it doesn’t keep me up at night because I’m not trying to play on a hockey team. Luis is. We’re supposed to believe he makes up for not being able to stop by being really fast, but he absolutely does not. Even taking into account his one goal, he’s a huge liability on the ice, and there has to be some weird reason why he made the team.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

No One Would Pay Gordon To Be The Sponsor Of Anything

Gordon Bombay never made it to the pros. He’s a lawyer turned pee wee hockey coach turned minor league hockey player turned pee wee national coach again. It’s a pretty fun niche personal interest story, but in order for people to buy things you endorse, you need to have a fanbase. Gordon has never accomplished anything that would give him a fanbase outside Charlie Conway’s mom. No one would pay him to endorse a product, and it’s bizarre that Hendrix chases him around like he’s Wayne Gretzky. 

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Why Is Iceland The Dominant Team?

Disney likely aimed to avoid offending Canadians or any other significant audience for the movie, so they chose to set the villains from an unimportant nation for commercial reasons. However, choosing Iceland seems unusual since D2 portrays them as powerful entities, yet in reality, they’re unlikely to have even qualified for a minor tournament like this one.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Girls Would Have Their Own Team

In real life, Connie and Julie would likely not have played together on a junior national team due to their high skill levels. Instead, they would most probably be part of the vibrant women’s hockey community in the United States. However, I am pleased that the film includes girls on the team because their lively personalities add charm and diversity, making the movie more engaging. In other words, while maximum accuracy might not always be ideal, it’s nice to have a mix of genders for an entertaining story.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Why Does That Lady Let Goldberg Shop?

In the midst of day number two (D2), Goldberg, Averman, Jesse, and Dwayne opt for a brief shopping spree, which seems like a typical teenage bonding outing. They encounter an issue when they find that the stores requiring appointments won’t let them in. Goldberg makes an announcement over the intercom about his Uncle Aaron being disappointed. Somehow, this unknown woman deduces that Goldberg must be referring to super producer Aaron Spelling, who would have been around 70 years old at the time. It seems strange that she would recognize this name and allow them entry based on it, but that’s what happens in this scenario.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

12-1

From time to time, even top-notch hockey teams can suffer one-sided defeats. A one-sided loss typically means a score like 5-0, though an extremely lopsided result might be something like 8-1. It’s hard to fathom that Gordon and his team lost 12-1 against Iceland, as such a crushing defeat is rare enough to be a notable statistic in future games. In fact, it’s almost unheard of for a team to win a tournament despite suffering a 12-1 loss in the preliminary rounds, like Team USA did in the mid-’90s.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Two Minutes For Roping

To begin with, what was the reason for Dwayne carrying a rope along on the bench with him?

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Where Is Jesse’s Brother?

Many children from the initial film didn’t return for the second, which is understandable as some may not have been strong players. This allowed opportunities for new talents to emerge. While I don’t mind if these departed characters aren’t explicitly mentioned, it seems unusual that there’s no mention of Jesse’s brother (portrayed by Jussie Smollett) from the first movie, who was part of the team. Given his presence in the previous film, one might expect some discussion about why he supposedly left Team USA or didn’t make the cut, as it seems unlikely that nobody has any thoughts to share on this matter.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Flying V

This tactic is poorly thought out. I appreciate the skill showcased in the knuckle puck and triple deke, but the Flying V formation seems illogical from a strategic standpoint. Why cluster your players together on the ice like that? It would be wiser to have someone defending just in case we lose possession of the puck. The way this play is designed is mind-boggling, and it’s fortunate that Iceland managed to disrupt it and capitalize on its weakness during the movie.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Dean Looks Really Old

Did you know this interesting tidbit? The actor portraying Dean Portman, Aaron Lohr, is married to Idina Menzel. That’s quite something, isn’t it? I’m glad for him. It might surprise you that Aaron appears older than most of the Ducks players, except Fulton. Even when the second movie was released, many of the other players were just 15 or 16 years old. In comparison, Aaron was 18, which is indeed older but not as much older as one might think.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Hans Has A Brother?

As a die-hard Mighty Ducks fan, I’ve noticed an intriguing detail across the movies. In the first film, there’s a local shopkeeper named Hans who becomes friendly with Gordon. In the second movie, we meet a character remarkably similar to Hans, but this time his name is Jan. The script hints that Hans has returned to his homeland for the summer, and we, as viewers, are supposed to accept this without question. Then, in the third movie, it’s back to our beloved Hans. It seems there were scheduling issues, but the movie subtly suggests they simply swapped his name in the script, added a line or two, and carried on with the story.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Healthy Scratch

As a gamer, when my teammate Adam Banks comes back from injury, there’s some hesitation since we’ve got a full squad. Yet, Charlie, who’s an alright player and always thinking of others, offers his spot to Adam. It’s a commendable act, showing Charlie’s character, but it leaves me pondering why Gordon isn’t doing his job. In real-life hockey, coaches often bench players as health scratches for each game. I get that no one wants to sideline anyone, but Adam Banks, who’s a powerhouse on our team, deserves to play. It’s the coach’s duty to make tough calls like this.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Russ Dresses Up As Goldberg

Despite struggling to break past the tight Icelandic defense with a knuckle puck, the Ducks devise an intricate trick play. In this ruse, Russ temporarily swaps positions with the goalie to create an opening for a shot. From a quick glance, he resembles Goldberg due to his stocky build, but there are numerous simpler ways to set him up for a goal. As a child, however, I found this strategy more appealing and would modify just one aspect of this convoluted plan.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Gordon’s House In Malibu Is Outrageous

Initially, as a child, I recognized this house was pleasant, but having lived in Los Angeles as an adult, I now perceive it to be remarkably extravagant, almost unbelievable for a scene in the movie. It appears more like the second residence of a wealthy foreigner or a luxury rental for a celebrity filming a project. There’s no doubt in my mind that they wouldn’t simply allow Gordon to use it while he was coaching at The Goodwill Games.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Gordon Shows Up Late To One Of The Games

Look: I get Coach Bombay is going through a personality crisis and trying to come to terms with his place in the world, but you have to show up for games before they start. That’s true in tee ball, and it’s especially true when you’re coaching a United States National Team. Don Tibbles talks about firing him after the embarrassing 12-1 loss to Iceland, but this is the real moment where he should have been canned. Unacceptable.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Kids Are Playing Street Hockey In Los Angeles

It’s quite possible that there are children in the Greater Los Angeles region who play street hockey in the park, but during my more than four years living there, I never witnessed such a scene. However, basketball, baseball, and tennis were common sights. As for hockey, it was rare. This scenario sets up Kenan Thompson’s character nicely and provides a bit of character development for Kenny Wu. To clarify, I have no issues with the street hockey culture in Minneapolis. In summary, I’m not upset about it.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The 1 On 1 Game Between Gordon And Wolf ‘The Dentist’ Stansson

It’s quite apparent that there are some youth sports coaches who possess sociopathic traits, as they might provoke an opposing coach into a skills competition in front of their teams. However, I feel compelled to express my discomfort, disgust, and concern about such an action, which is not only awkward but also psychologically harmful, particularly in a children’s film setting. Both coaches should be ashamed of themselves, and so should the other adults who failed to intervene and prevent this unacceptable behavior.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Why Does Don Tibbles Have So Much Influence On The Team?

Just like any other business, hockey relies on generating income. However, sponsors don’t have control over strategic decisions, such as those made by NHL teams or the U.S. National Team. While a sponsor might contribute to designing jerseys and helping with equipment choices to ensure team satisfaction, it’s not accurate to suggest they hold absolute power over every decision.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

There Would Not Be This Many Ducks On The Team

Let’s chat candidly about the Ducks for a moment. They’re not exactly top-notch. While they pulled off an unexpected underdog win against the Hawks in the first Mighty Ducks movie, it’s important to remember that most of their players weren’t particularly skilled. If Team USA was seriously considering Gordon Bombay as coach, there would definitely be a need to incorporate more than five players from other regions across the United States. It seems rather unfair they didn’t.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Rollerblading To Mall Of America

I may not be a seasoned expert in Twin Cities navigation, but I’ve been to Mall of America, and it typically takes around 15 minutes by car from Minneapolis without traffic congestion. We don’t have an address book detailing the residence and workplace of every individual, but it seems highly unlikely that they would possess the energy to perform such acts and still have the strength to steal a hat from someone.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Trinidad And Tobago Team Has A Band In The Crowd

As a kid gamer, my initial thought wasn’t about how those instruments were placed within the arena; instead, it was always puzzling to me why other teams didn’t get to have their own band. To me, if given the chance, every team would surely bring a band along! It just seemed logical to me. However, despite being significantly behind, Trinidad and Tobago’s fans are still rocking out and enjoying themselves after scoring a goal – much like Iceland or the US might do when things aren’t going their way.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Wolf ‘The Dentist’ Stansson Destroys The Beach Ball With Hockey Gloves On

Exceptionally skilled athletes possess remarkable athletic prowess. You might think they’d crush a beach ball with hockey gloves effortlessly, but this guy makes it look so effortless and smooth, as if he’s been doing it for a living his whole life. Frankly, I can’t imagine anyone could pick it up and do that without some Benny Hill-style chaos ensuing.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Luis Mendoza Learns To Stop With Cans

Real talk. How much time do you think it took him to set up all these cans? Even if he’s got eye hand coordination and doesn’t accidentally knock over any while setting them up, I have to think this is a ten minute process at minimum. That honestly might be low. So, to think anyone would repeatedly set these up for someone they know is incapable of stopping is crazy town. Learn to value your time.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Zamboni Accident

Three friends – Guy, Jesse, and Fulton – thought it’d be a hilarious idea to take the Zamboni for a joyride, sending it crashing through the rink’s boards. Since Gordon and Ms. McKay wouldn’t have a clue about fixing it, they’d need to talk to the angry workers at the rink. The next stop would be speaking with Tibbles, who’d likely be responsible for covering the damages and would certainly be upset too. The film portrays this as a harmless prank like the shaving cream incident, but in reality, such actions could lead to players getting kicked off the team, even back in the more lenient mid-’90s when there was generally more acceptance of pranks.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

Former Olympian Kenny Wu Would Not Be On This Team

In a somewhat surprising move for the team, many might find it questionable to assign a hockey uniform to someone who is not proficient in the sport, such as Ken. Despite Tibbles’ enthusiasm for cross-promotion and marketing, it seems like he may not be the best fit for our team, given his lack of experience with hockey, small stature compared to the rest of the players, and a more accomplished background in figure skating. I can’t help but wonder if this roster spot could have been better utilized elsewhere.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Alley Oop Play

In the game against Iceland, the Ducks executed a unique play where Dwayne launched the puck skyward at its maximum height and Adam Banks chased it down to score. This action may seem illogical as defenders facing the opposite direction would seemingly have an easier time tracking the puck. However, during your next viewing of the movie, disregard this reasoning and instead focus on one Iceland defender who committed a highly questionable trip penalty, which is quite severe even by my three decades of watching hockey standards.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Ducks Change Sweaters

Regardless of the rules regarding sweater changes, I find it rather unconventional and somewhat disrespectful for Team USA to highlight their youth hockey team origins in such a bold manner at this professional level. As a kid, I found this move slightly insulting not only towards The United States but also Hendrix, who have invested an unknown amount of money that they’ll never recoup during the tournament.

32 Things That Make No Sense About D2: The Mighty Ducks But Don’t Stop Me From Loving It

The Team Lessons

I really like Ms. McKay. Her presence in this film added depth, but it’s fair to acknowledge that not every child in the story would be receiving the same educational material. Some are clearly advanced beyond their grade level, while others are doing their best with the abilities they possess (a nod to Fulton who seems unaware of how long the US has existed).

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2024-09-06 16:38