5 popular songs from the 1980s that are still awful now

The 1980s represented an entertaining era, marked by the rise of New Wave music at its start, although it concluded somewhat disappointingly. However, most of the decade was enjoyable, and at least it paved the way for the outstanding grunge scene that emerged in the early 1990s.

The 1980s were a fun-filled decade with New Wave music kicking things off, but it ended on a low note. Yet, there was plenty to enjoy about the 80s, and at least it set the stage for the impressive grunge movement in the early 90s.

Although many ’80s tunes were cheerful and entertaining, it’s undeniable that some top-selling tracks from that era left a lot to be desired. It’s no surprise they haven’t improved with time; in fact, they’ve become even more cringe-worthy. As for us, we’re holding up pretty well, I’d say – the music of those years, not so much!

In this musical case, not one, but two legendary artists are implicated. Kickstarting our discussion is the collaboration between the iconic Michael Jackson and a former member of The Beatles.

Two timeless musical legends are part of the incident I’m about to discuss. Let’s begin by exploring the partnership between Michael Jackson and a past member of The Beatles.

5 great-selling songs from the 1980s that never deserved to be

“The Girl is Mine” – Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney (1982)

This was an awful plan, whoever conceived it. It seems like Jackson was the one behind it. He had always aspired to surpass the Beatles, and what better means than enlisting one of them in the process. Granted, Jackson did sell millions of records, but unlike the Beatles, his reputation has been marred.

The problem with this song is that it seems unpleasant to me. It appears that Jackson and McCartney are arguing over a woman. Yuck. However, the song lacks depth and seems misplaced on Thriller. If you’re keen on listening to a collaboration between McCartney and Jackson, I recommend “Say Say Say” instead.

“Kokomo” – The Beach Boys (1988)

It’s unlikely that this piece is arguing the Beach Boys discontinued their music after the early ’70s, but it seems “Kokomo” doesn’t meet the same quality as Brian Wilson’s earlier compositions. The song appears to be an attempt at commercial success, and it comes across as forced and subpar.

As a dedicated fan, I can’t help but feel let down by the simplicity of their latest lyrics. It seems like they could have pushed the boundaries more, and yet, it was widely accepted. The truth is, we fans deserved something more profound, and they’ve shown us in the past that they’re capable of delivering it. It makes this current situation all the more disappointing.

“I Can’t Drive 55” – Sammy Hagar (1984)

Hagar built a career around seeking popularity, but it might astonish some that when this song came out in 1984, he had already produced eight studio albums under his belt. The reason he didn’t gain more recognition is because he crafted soft tunes lacking an enduring emotional impact.

The title of this track appears quite old-fashioned, considering it’s titled “55”. Nowadays, that seems rather slow. Hagar possesses a good voice, but certainly not extraordinary. He crafted a song with a gimmicky feel to it, and it was successful. Unfortunately, he also contributed to the decline of Van Halen.

“Separate Lives” – Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin (1985)

Hey Phil, looks like something shifted in your music style here. It seems during this time you were transitioning away from the distinctive Genesis/early Collins sound towards a more pop-oriented one. Perhaps the motivation was financial gain, and indeed, that goal was achieved, but at the cost of some artistic authenticity.

The music itself isn’t great, and the way it’s sung doesn’t help either. One particularly problematic line goes like this: “Ooh, love brings hardship, leading to solitude/So you construct a barrier (construct a barrier)/Indeed, you construct a barrier (construct a barrier)/And make it more robust.” This part is not only poor quality but also seems to convey an unwelcome message. The individuals portrayed in the lyrics should strive for better experiences in life.

“Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car” – Billy Ocean (1988)

If Ocean had stuck with the original title “Get Outta My Dreams,” perhaps things would have been alright. However, given that the current title can be interpreted as one person exploiting another, and considering it’s intended to be entertaining, it unfortunately comes off as unintelligent instead.

The true sufferers were the ones compelled to hear this song repeatedly on the radio. Nonetheless, it’s likely that Ocean pocketed a significant sum from its success. After all, it was his final track to rank higher than number 35 in the U.S., so he truly deserves it.

2025-06-25 15:00