10 Worst Action Movies of All Time, According to Roger Ebert

As a seasoned film critic who has spent countless hours in dimly-lit theaters, I must say that these films represent a peculiar blend of action and violence that leaves me somewhat perplexed. The allure of a star-studded cast often overshadows the questionable narrative choices, leading to an uneasy viewing experience.

Few critics had as discerning a perspective and unbiased an opinion on films as Roger Ebert. For more than four decades, he did much more than just write film reviews; he significantly influenced our perception of cinema. His insights were instrumental in bringing to light the intricacies (or lack thereof) in movies that were otherwise labeled merely as fantastic or poor.

Ebert had a deep affection for the genre of action films. Movies such as “Judgement Day”, “Heat”, “Seven Samurai”, and “The Hunt for Red October” were among his favorites due to their combination of style, excitement, and thought-provoking content. However, action films that solely rely on visuals without substance received harsh critiques from Ebert, who did not hesitate to label them as poor in quality.

In Roger Ebert’s critical assessments, nowhere was his disapproval more apparent than when he reviewed some of the poorest action films. These films embody everything that’s flawed about relying on senseless, violent spectacle over crafting engaging narratives, well-drawn characters, and thoughtful societal themes. From weak storylines to poor performances to directors falling short, these are the ten worst action movies in his opinion.

10 Fantastic Four (2005)

In a supposedly magnificent style guided by Tim Story, Fantastic Four is a film that portrays the Marvel Comics superhero team. The story revolves around a team of astronauts undertaking a journey into space, only to be affected by cosmic rays upon their arrival. As a result, they acquire unique abilities such as invisibility, immense strength, and an elastic body. Utilizing these new powers, the team confronts Victor Von Doom, a malevolent doctor intent on causing global instability.

A Terrible Missed Opportunity

The Fantastic Four performed exceptionally well at the cinema, yet was met with unfavorable comments from critics. It appeared more like a dull school assignment where lengthy intros and displays dragged on interminably, seeming devoid of creativity and falling short in storytelling. Roger Ebert eloquently highlights these issues in his candid review, emphasizing its failure to embody the spirit of the genre, which is meant to provide enjoyment. Additionally, he mentions that it missed the mark in delivering entertainment value.

Movies such as “Superman”, “Spider-Man 2”, and “Batman Begins” stand head and shoulders above “Fantastic Four”. It’s as if they belong to a different league, making it seem almost unfair for “Fantastic Four” to share the same screens with them.

9 Death Race (2008)

In Paul W. S. Anderson’s thrilling action movie, Death Race, we are transported into a future where the United States government has crumbled. Now, instead of serving justice, prisons such as Terminal Island Penitentiary generate profit by hosting and broadcasting games. These games pit inmates against each other in heavily armed and customized vehicles, with the chance to win their freedom at stake. Unjustly accused convict Jenson Ames is coerced into participating under the watch of Warden Hennessey.

Endures Only Because of the Shock Value

In essence, “Death Race” lacks compelling narratives or well-developed characters, instead thriving on excessive violence, speedy cars, and explosive collisions. The film’s direction is more focused on creating intricate car crash sequences than maintaining a coherent narrative line.

Indeed, Jason Statham and Joan Allen deliver captivating yet sinister performances in their roles, but Ebert found the overall experience to be extremely unpleasant. He conveyed this by awarding it just one and a half stars out of four and labeled Death Race as “an attack on all senses, even common ones.

8 Revolver (2005)

In the 2000s movie featuring Jason Statham, titled “Revolver,” the story revolves around Jake Green, a masterful con artist and chess prodigy who has spent time behind bars for a crime he didn’t commit. Upon his release, Green vows to exact revenge on Dorothy Macha, a casino mogul and criminal overlord who framed him. Leveraging his strategic prowess and skill in deceit, Green manages to amass a considerable fortune at the gambling table. Enraged by this, Macha orders for Green’s assassination.

Confusing Rather Than Clever

In a critique, Ebert awarded only half a star to the movie “Revolver,” criticizing it as a puzzler that strives excessively to bewilder viewers with its intricate plot and enigmas, yet fails to provide coherent reasons or resolutions. It left audiences yearning for a fulfilling ending.

In Guy Ritchie’s signature style of directing, along with Jason Statham and Ray Liotta’s acting, did not captivate Ebert. He criticized the film as being “a movie that seems to be made specifically to penalize viewers for purchasing tickets” and it “repeatedly twisted in on itself, gnawing at its own tail, retracing steps through scenes with diminishing significance and purpose.

7 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Under the direction of Alexander Witt, Resident Evil: Apocalypse serves as the second installment in the Resident Evil film series, drawing inspiration from the video game franchise of the same name. Continuing the narrative from where it was previously left, we delve into the journey of Alice, a survivor who endured a zombie outbreak in her city. Now she’s joining forces with other survivors in an attempt to flee Racoon City, a desolate landscape teeming with zombies and monsters.

A Dull Entry to the Zombie Genre

As a staunch advocate for quality cinema, I wholeheartedly echo Roger Ebert’s sentiments about the sequel being an unfulfilling waste of precious time. It lacked the spark of intrigue, humor, or creative vision that usually captivates audiences. Furthermore, it fell short in delivering even the basic elements of engaging action sequences and eye-catching special effects. In his extensive critique, Ebert also emphasized that the film abandoned any semblance of a coherent narrative to concentrate excessively on creating a cacophony of action scenes.

The characters are remarkably superficial and the sequences appear haphazardly arranged, almost as if they were thrown together without much thought. On Rotten Tomatoes, Resident Evil: Apocalypse boasts the least favorable rating among all films in the series.

6 Cannonball Run II (1984)

The 1981 movie sequel, a follow-up to the 1976 action comedy remake starring David Carradine titled Cannonball Run II, introduces a storyline where a sheik organizes an extravagant coast-to-coast car race as a way to win over his father’s approval. Our heroes, J.J. McLure and Victor, are among the participants vying for the $1 million prize. However, things take an unexpected turn when the sheik is kidnapped, causing the competitors to abandon their chase for glory and unite in a mission to rescue him instead.

A Deceptive and Jumbled Parody

According to Ebert, both “The Cannonball Run” and “The Cannonball Run II” received only half a star from him. Although the original film managed to be somewhat successful due to its slapstick humor, the sequel was merely a collection of self-referential gags delivered with overconfidence. Ebert commends the actors, Burt Reynolds and Shirley MacLaine, but not for their acting in these movies. In summary, Ebert deemed “The Cannonball Run II” as one of the most lazy and disrespectful attempts to deceive moviegoers’ intelligence that he could recall.

5 Armageddon (1998)

In 1998, one of the most financially successful films, “Armageddon”, opens with the discovery of an asteroid as large as the state of Texas on a direct path to collide with Earth in just 18 days’ time. NASA devises a strategy – drill into the asteroid’s surface, insert a nuclear device, and detonate it. They recruit Harry Stamper, an experienced oil driller, for this critical mission.

Filled With Major Plot Holes

In Roger Ebert’s list of most despised films ever, Armageddon is included. In his critique, he described it as a relentless attack on visual and auditory senses, rational thinking, entertainment expectations, and human nature itself. He felt the characters were one-dimensional and the storyline was implausible. Interestingly, despite having nine screenwriters, the dialogue was apparently unnecessary. The film also grappled with overused romantic themes and illogical rescue attempts.

4 The Exterminator (1980)

In “The Exterminator,” Robert Ginty takes on the role of John Eastland, who develops a strong bond with Michael Jefferson, portrayed by Steve James, following Jefferson’s life-saving act during their time in Vietnam. Once back in New York, they both grapple with post-war life when Eastland learns that his friend has been brutally murdered by street gangs. Overwhelmed by anger, Eastland loses control and starts mercilessly eliminating anyone he believes is involved, rapidly gaining notoriety as the city’s most elusive fugitive.

No Style and No Substance

The gritty action film, “The Exterminator,” penned and helmed by James Glickenhaus, revels in intense violence devoid of release. Its narrative straddles the line between tragic and absurd, and its predictability stems from overuse. Critic Roger Ebert deemed it a blatant copycat of the 1974 film “Death Wish,” labeling it as “a shameless replica.” He harshly criticized it as a “dismal demonstration of the alarming descent into brutal violence in American cinema.

3 Mad Dog Time (1996)

In my humble opinion, Larry Bishop’s ensemble crime thriller revolves around me, Vic – a formidable mob boss who’s just stepped out of a psychiatric facility, only to find my nightclub empire in shambles. Seems my temporary replacement, Mickey Holliday, had other plans, like wooing sisters Grace and Rita! As I navigate the chaos to regain control, ruthless rival mobsters loom menacingly, eyeing my domain and plotting to seize the enigmatic underworld of nightlife. Quite a pickle, isn’t it?

Earns Its Zero-Star Rating

Although it boasted several guest roles, such as that of Christopher Jones, “Mad Dog Time” struggled to find harmony in its storyline. It aimed (but unfortunately fell short) to blend the sophisticated gloominess of its narrative with raw aspects typical of the crime genre.

Roger Ebert awarded it an exceptional zero-star rating, stating that viewing the film felt like “spending time in a city where you’re unsure if they even run buses.” Evidently, this movie failed to capitalize on its talented ensemble cast, comprised of Jeff Goldblum, Ellen Barkin, Diane Lane, and an unusually erratic Richard Dreyfuss.

2 Death Wish 2 (1982)

As a movie enthusiast, I recently had the opportunity to revisit Charles Bronson’s character, Paul Kersey, in the sequel to his 1974 classic, aptly titled “Death Wish 2“. Eight years have passed since we last saw him, and now he resides peacefully as a freelance architect in bustling Los Angeles. However, life takes a tragic turn when his beloved daughter becomes the victim of a brutal attack that ends in her untimely demise. This personal loss reignites the fiery rage within Kersey, propelling him back into a one-man war against the gangs responsible for this heinous act.

Does Violence Really Solve All Problems?

The initial film, praised for its thrilling nature and widely appreciated by both audiences and critics, the subsequent installment delved excessively into violence yet failed to address legal, ethical, or personal accountability issues. Roger Ebert described Michael Winner’s direction as “polished,” but criticized it as a “disappointing follow-up” and also deemed Bond’s thirst for vengeance as merely a “string of senseless killings.” Given his 0-star rating, such criticism seems justified.

1 From Ten to Midnight (1983)

In an unconventional blend of neo-noir and horror genres, the movie From Ten to Midnight tells the story of Warren Stacy, a seemingly ordinary office equipment repairman with a chilling secret – he’s a serial killer, but his victims are women who spurn his unwanted advances. As the body count increases with each woman he targets and stakes, the Los Angeles detectives Leo Kessler and his partner Paul McAnn relentlessly pursue him, despite his solid alibis.

Not Everybody’s Cup of Tea

The 1980s were a lively period for the slasher genre, yet the decade itself couldn’t save “From Ten to Midnight” due to its excessive similarity, graphic violence, and disturbing content. Granted, the storyline might be intriguing albeit shallow, and the production is interesting given B-movie criteria; however, the film ultimately lacks depth.

In his critique, Ebert points out that the film’s primary issue isn’t its logic but rather its lack of emotional depth. He further comments that Charlie Brosnon’s performance is the sole factor compelling audiences to watch the movie.

2024-09-13 04:32